December 20, 2015

Swank Family 2015 Christmas Letter


This sucks!  I've been having writer’s block and am really struggling to create this year’s Christmas letter.  I think I will just copy last year’s letter and see if anyone notices. 

Merry Christmas! 

 Boy, we are sure glad to have our letter out before we catch the Ebola Virus!  The way that stuff is spreading it sounds like we will all have it by Spring! 

 Ahhh, forget it.  Let's just recap 2015 and settle on the fact this will be another crappy Christmas letter.


In February, Luke underwent a successful procedure to get a new Pacemaker. It really seems to be benefiting him.  Best of all, not only is it helping him to grow and thrive, we also get a good laugh every time we turn on the microwave and watch his hair stand straight up! 

Avery has taken up programming as a hobby and future career goal. His chosen language right now is Java. He says he wants to use it to help with the high school robotics team, but we’re suspicious he might be up to no good. Apparently he thinks he’s going to be able to hack into his brother’s pacemaker, take control of him, and make him “Do Tricks.” We’re really hoping he doesn’t figure out how to do it.


This summer, we made the silly decision to bring another critter into our house. Blue is our new baby golden retriever and we’re not sure if we really like him yet. First of all, he’s constantly biting our beloved 10 year old Golden Retriever, Sunny. Second of all, he is chewing everything in the house that isn’t put high on a shelf! Finally, he keeps requesting Sunny to give him piggy back rides and we’re worried that the constant humping is going to give the older dog hip dysplasia. 


Todd finally left the computer hardware business after 21 years and started a new job selling enterprise software for Oracle. It’s a great opportunity, but has been very challenging to start. He spends his entire day constantly cold calling CFO’s, CEO’s, and CIO’s. And none of those people ever answer their dang phones any more! Todd hasn’t suffered from this much rejection since high school.


Sheri has taken on a tremendous amount of unexpected household projects this fall. She’s had to single handedly repair a broken garage door, a broken washing machine, a broken faucet, and has had to coordinate repairs to 2 of our cars and our hot tub. If Todd would just stop breaking stuff, she could actually have some free time.


On a positive note, both of the boys received their driver’s licenses this year. This is great news for us as Todd and Sheri finally have a couple of legal designated drivers!! The boys are pretty happy about it also because they used to hate picking us up at the bar on their bicycles.


Luke pursued a job last summer at the local Dairy Queen. He took a leave of absence when school started which made us all sad. Especially the dogs. They loved licking the ice cream off his shirt every night when he’d get home. There sure was a lot of it.


The boys are keeping busy with robotics, Boy Scouts, and Luke is also in the band. They are preparing to take their ACTs and have been visiting colleges. They have fun trying to imagine where they’ll be in 2 years. Their mom and dad just hope wherever they end up, they will be happy and doing something they enjoy. And that doesn’t cost us a ton of money.



For 2016, we look forward to the Donald winning the presidency and changing the country's name to the United States of Trump.  We are going to sell shirts with a map of the US emblazoned with a huge golden T across it and get rich!



God Bless Us Everyone!

The Swank Family