December 20, 2017

Swank Family Christmas Letter 2017

Merry Christmas! 

What a year! 

In 2017, Todd & Sheri officially became empty nesters when Luke & Avery moved out to go to college. People kept telling us “now you can walk around the house naked.” So we tried it and it was kind of fun, but unfortunately Domino’s Pizza will no longer deliver to our house anymore. 

 It’s very weird having the boys live under different roofs. For the past 18 years, we’ve kind of organized our lives around their every waking moment. Now things are organized around things like take-out food and Candy Crush. 

 Sheri turned 50 this year which doesn’t seem possible. It’s really hard to get old. Everything changes. Although Todd is quite happy with all the money we are saving on our utilities thanks to her frequent hot flashes.

Todd is still fighting the good fight selling enterprise cloud applications for Oracle. He still dreams of someday becoming a professional athlete but working out just sucks. 

Avery has been doing fantastic studying computer science at the University of Minnesota. In February, the Super Bowl will be taking place just a couple of miles from his dorm room. We are hoping he figures out how to hack into their video feed and uploads some kind of video honoring his father during the halftime show. Instead of Nipple Gate it will be Cripple Gate. He says he doesn’t think he can do it, but we believe in him. 

Of course no year would be complete without us being terrified with the threat of going on the list for a heart and liver transplant for Luke. His growth and health had been doing great since his pacemaker was added in 2015. So when it was discovered during his regular checkup that there were nodules on his liver that looked highly suspicious of being cancer, we were all pretty shocked. We received biopsy results while moving in his college furniture and learned the great news he would actually get to stay and go to school rather than wait for an organs donor. Dang, was that a good feeling. Since then Luke has had a drama free semester at Minnesota State Mankato filled with all sorts of college mischief and shenanigans. We are so happy for him as we prepare to take on the next round of tests over Christmas Break. Thanks so much to all our friends and family who keep him in their thoughts and prayers.

Our beloved Golden Retriever, Sunny, has gone to the great dog park in the sky. His successor, Blue, has become an incredible dog who instantly matured when he became the lead dog in the house. Only problem is he has a tendency to smell our house guests in very intrusive ways. We are a little paranoid he may be forced to resign as our dog if he can’t straighten up soon. 

In 2018, we are selling our house and our portfolio and using all of our savings to buy Bitcoin. We will either be broke in a year or are buying Walt Disney World. We can’t wait to see which way it will be! 

God Bless Us Everyone! 

The Swank Family