Showing posts with label Minnesota. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Minnesota. Show all posts

August 2, 2026

Spending the Afternoon with Caitlin Clark

 


Spending the Afternoon with Caitlin Clark

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for August 2, 2026


Thursday night, Sue and Ron Korkowski finally joined us for a cruise around Prior Lake. We had planned it two weeks earlier, but smoke from the Minnesota and Canadian forest fires turned the sky into something that looked better suited for a dystopian movie than a boat ride. This time the air was clear, the lake was calm, and we were ready to cruise like four people who had personally defeated Canada.


We used to take friends boating to kneeboard, tube, and see who could injure themselves first. These days we cruise slowly, watch birds, and admire the beautiful homes along the lake. The strange part is, nobody ever seems to be outside. Maybe once your house gets that nice, you’re too busy working to spend much time there. 


We cruise around stalking egrets, blue herons, and cormorants, pretending each one is a rare discovery instead of a bird we’ve seen a thousand times. Loons and bald eagles are the real celebrities, but neither showed up that night. So we followed this cormorant around like wildlife paparazzi. We may have seen him a hundred times before, but on this particular evening, he was magnificent.

For years, I’ve steered past this concrete mystery at the entrance to Candy Cove without knowing what it was. I finally did something brilliant and asked ChatGPT. Turns out it’s the remains of the old Candy Cove Dam, built in 1942 to protect Prior Lake’s water level because the cove’s porous bottom was apparently leaking the lake underground. Eighty-four years later, I solved the mystery without leaving the boat. Technology has finally justified itself.


There was a time I’d never miss the chance to jump off the boat, float with friends, and enjoy nature’s most convenient restroom. Now I weigh that against hauling myself up the tiny ladder and driving home with a wet swimsuit welded to my crotch. This night, the dry crotch won. Miss Sheri and Sue jumped in and apparently had a blast, while I stayed aboard feeling old, comfortable, and completely justified.


Saturday brought us back to the St. Croix River for another afternoon of sun, drinks, and questionable decisions aboard the Zitzewitz boat. We packed in friends, family, and enough personalities to make every seat feel like its own little reality show. No real agenda beyond cruising, laughing, and proving once again that nearly everything is more fun when somebody else owns the boat.


We joined the Zitzewitzes on the river last Saturday too, but Avery and Abby already had plans and missed it. Karl and Tina were kind enough to invite us back again so the kids could join the fun. That meant another afternoon on the St. Croix, more floating, and absolutely no complaints from us about doing it again.


Best of all, Aaron joined us for the day. It had been years since we’d shared a day of sun and fun with him, and he’s actually the reason we met the Zitzewitz family nearly 20 years ago through Cub Scouts. The boys spent the afternoon reliving old scouting stories, including the weekend we crawled through Eagle Cave among stalagmites, stalactites, and live bats. Apparently childhood trauma becomes comedy once everyone survives it.


It was much windier than the weekend before, so floating became a full-contact sport. We spent most of the time clutching the rope while the current swung us around and shoved us into waves big enough to slap the relaxation right out of us. It felt like tubing behind the boat, except the boat was parked and nobody had signed a waiver. Good times, assuming your definition of fun includes fighting a river for custody of your inflatable.


I told Karl and Tina that Facebook had recently reminded me how many couple photos I took of them over the years, so naturally we needed an updated version. Somehow they’re even cuter now, which is annoying because most of us are just trying to keep our faces from sliding off. Apparently marriage works when you combine love, laughter, and a boat large enough to escape each other occasionally.


Sunday brought us to Target Center for a WNBA showdown between the hometown Minnesota Lynx and Indiana Fever. Minnesota had won nine straight, Indiana five, and both were among the league’s best teams, so we knew we were in for a great matchup.

The whole thing was Krazy Kory’s idea, but he had to back out a few days before the game, so Miss Sheri and I went without him. We ended up in the front row of the upper-deck corner, which I was pretty happy about considering Target Center looked nearly sold out and my official Lynx status is somewhere between “occasional customer” and “who let this guy in?”

 

Of course, one of the biggest draws was getting to watch Caitlin Clark play again. She’s been Miss Sheri’s favorite player since about her sophomore year at Iowa, partly because Caitlin is an Iowa girl and Miss Sheri grew up there playing basketball through high school. This was probably our fourth or fifth time seeing her in person, so at this point I’m surprised Caitlin doesn’t at least wave.

The Lynx were plenty of a draw on their own, entering the game with the WNBA’s best record and rookie Olivia Miles looking like anything but a rookie. She poured in 28 points, including 14 in the second quarter, and ran the offense with the confidence of someone who clearly skipped the part where first-year players are supposed to look nervous. Caitlin may have brought the crowd, but Olivia made sure everyone learned her name.


Sophie Cunningham has been another of our favorite players the past couple years, but she recently made some comments suggesting boys and girls should probably stick to their own teams, and that went over in Minnesota about as smoothly as wearing a Packers jersey to a Vikings tailgate. Lynx fans booed her every time she touched the ball, which felt less like basketball and more like 16,000 people leaving the same angry voicemail. We still like Sophie, but apparently her newest advanced statistic is boos per touch.


Caitlin and her friends played tough, erasing a 14-point fourth-quarter deficit and pulling within two before the Lynx finally slammed the door, 108-100. Clark finished with 19 points and 10 assists, while Olivia Miles scored 28 and Courtney Williams added 27 as Minnesota won its 10th straight. Great game, great crowd, and proof that spending an afternoon with Caitlin is fun even when she barely acknowledges we’re there.

July 12, 2026

Rocking Like the ’80s Still Rule at the 2026 Lakefront Music Fest

 


Rocking Like the ’80s Still Rule at the 2026 Lakefront Music Fest

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for July 12, 2026


Our summer has been packed, and somehow even our nights off turn social. While wandering Costco, we ran into Randy and Cindy Schoen, who lived near my sister about 20 years ago. We’d lost touch, but they’re the kind of people who make it feel like no time has passed. A few minutes catching up in the spice aisle turned into one of those unexpected little reminders that good people never really feel far away.


It was Avery’s turn for a Mayo Clinic checkup. He only has to go every two or three years, but it’s always great seeing Dr. Johnson, the boys’ cardiologist and someone we’ve come to know well over the past decade. Avery’s checkup went well and he doesn't need to come back soon.  That’s exactly the kind of visit we like: catch up with a good man and say, “See you in a few years.”


Our rocking week of the ’80s started Wednesday night at Rhythm on the Rails in downtown Shakopee, a free summer concert series with live music, food, drinks, games, and a street full of people enjoying the night. Def Leggend brought the Def Leppard hits, and for a few hours Lewis Street felt less like Shakopee and more like 1987 with better beer options.


Tom and Kellie Wolf are usually our Rhythm on the Rails partners. We share the same taste in classic rock and the same desire to sit off to the side so the speakers don’t finish off whatever hearing we have left. We always have a great time together, even if getting Tom to actually look at the camera remains one of Shakopee’s tougher summer challenges.


Thursday night, the Browns and Zitzewitzes joined us for a three-hour tour on the boat. Unlike Gilligan, we made it back before three hours turned into a syndicated television series. I also prefer being off the lake before sunset because I’m not entirely sure the boat lights still work. I could check them, of course, but that sounds suspiciously like effort.


The highlight of the week was Rock Night at Prior Lake’s Lakefront Music Fest. The weekend brings in some huge names, but we stick to Friday because country music has never really been our thing. We used to fight our way to the front of the stage, but now they charge extra for the pit and our ears have filed enough formal complaints for one lifetime.


We love running into old friends at Lakefront Music Fest, including Jimi Gilbertson and his sister Trish. Jimi is a big shot with the Prior Lake Rotary Club and gets to guard the VIP section, where $320 buys you perks like shade. That sounded excessive until 95-degree heat and direct sunlight spent several hours turning my forehead into a solar panel. One of these years, I may finally invest.


I think the last time we saw Lisa Maldonado was at this same concert last year. She’s one of those genuinely sweet people who always asks about the boys and makes you feel like no time has passed. She also gave Miss Sheri about five hugs while I got one, which felt a little uneven, but apparently Sheri had the premium friendship package.

Ted and Marcia found us in the crowd and settled in for the show. We occasionally wandered closer to the stage, partly for the music and partly because standing in a packed crowd was somehow our best available shade. Whenever we returned to our chairs, we enjoyed catching up with them, which made the night even better.


Jefferson Starship opened the night by taking us through their own musical family tree, from Jefferson Airplane to Jefferson Starship to Starship. They closed with “We Built This City,” but “White Rabbit” was the song I was waiting for. More than 50 years later, it’s still wonderfully psychedelic and remains one of my all-time favorites.


George Thorogood was next, and “I Drink Alone” has long been one of my favorite karaoke songs because his raspy growl is about as close as my voice gets to a natural fit. I can’t really sing, but I can fake irritated confidence pretty well. It’s the rare song where throat damage actually improves the performance.


Billy Idol closed the night, and for a while it felt like high school had come roaring back, only now everyone had reading glasses and sore knees. He tore through hit after hit, and I kept thinking about how perfectly he played himself in The Wedding Singer, still one of my favorite movie cameos. We left early and missed “Rebel Yell” and “White Wedding,” but beating that massive crowd on the mile walk back to the car and getting home to my bed was absolutely worth sacrificing a little rock-and-roll history.

@toddswank The only thing I look forward to about fall. 😂🦟 #Mosquitoes #Comedy #Relatable ♬ SILENT PATROL - AYUMI Hollow

May 31, 2026

The Week We Remembered Outside Exists

The Week We Remembered Outside Exists
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for May 31, 2026


Work kept me pretty pinned down this week. By Friday night, we were ready to break loose a little, so we met up with Abby and Avery, helped them knock out an errand, and grabbed dinner on the patio at Charlie’s on Prior Lake. They all went with chicken tinga bowls while I ordered the two-meat platter, because apparently I treat dinner like I’m stocking up before a blizzard. Good food, good conversation, and one of those simple family nights that doesn’t sound like much until you realize it was exactly what you needed.


Minnesota finally warmed up, so Miss Sheri and I decided it was time to start walking again before our bodies officially reclassified us as furniture. I can make it about two miles without passing out, and we managed to do that three times this week. The first two were in our neighborhood, so Saturday we got ambitious and hit the Jensen Lake Trailhead at Lebanon Hills. Nothing says rugged wilderness like a beautiful lake covered in lily pads, where nature looks peaceful while quietly judging your cardio.


Luke joined us for the hike, so we picked something a little closer to his place in Apple Valley. I always end up walking faster when he’s with us, which annoys me because my preferred pace is “still technically moving.” Luke acts like there’s a finish line somewhere, while I’m just trying to enjoy nature and keep all major organs functioning. Still, it was good to see the boy, even if his casual walking speed feels like a personal attack.


You know us. We’re always keeping an eye out for interesting critters to harass by forcing them into unpaid photo sessions. Luke started the adventure by spotting a good-sized garter snake, but by the time I caught up, it had already disappeared under a log like it owed me money. We saw some turtles too, but around here turtles are basically the neighborhood committee. The real stars were these white ducks, who had clearly been sleeping until we showed up and ruined their spa day. They opened their eyes just long enough to confirm we were annoying, then we snapped the picture and let them get back to pretending humans don’t exist.


Saturday night, Miss Sheri and I had tickets to see David Spade at Mystic Lake Casino. I’m not sure I’d call myself a David Spade superfan, but I’ve followed him forever through SNL and classics like Tommy Boy. The only recent stuff I’ve seen is TikTok clips from the podcast he does with Dana Carvey, which mostly looks like two comedy legends trying to figure out why the internet is mad today. Either way, Spade is part of the Adam Sandler crew, and those guys have been turning dumb, immature comedy into gold for decades. They’re basically proof that stupid comedy works when everyone involved is way smarter than they’re pretending to be.


I’m a sucker for any venue that lets you upload a photo to the big screen, because apparently my ego needs stadium seating. When ours popped up, I liked to imagine the whole audience thinking, “Todd Swank? What’s he doing here? I’d like to hang out with that guy.” Then I took a picture of the picture, which is either deeply narcissistic or just good documentation. Probably both. But way down deep, isn’t that what we all want? To be loved, remembered, and briefly displayed above a casino crowd before David Spade comes out.


I’d love to say the comedy was amazing, but honestly, it was just OK. The two openers got a few laughs, but mostly felt like they were there to remind us David Spade was coming. Spade was definitely the pro. He’s lived an interesting life, so even just hearing him talk about SNL, movies, and Hollywood weirdness was entertaining. But the set did feel a little phoned in. He opened by ripping on guys in the front row for wearing shorts like they had just mowed the lawn, which was funny, but also bold coming from a man dressed like he wandered in from a gas station run during cabin weekend. Still, much respect for the guy. I just wish it felt like he wanted to give this crowd a show they couldn’t have gotten anywhere else.

May 25, 2026

Welcome to Summer. Bring a Hoodie.

 

Welcome to Summer. Bring a Hoodie.

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for May 25, 2026


Memorial Day weekend is the unofficial start of summer, which in Minnesota means we all pretend the weather is cooperating. We get ten thousand lakes and about twelve perfect days, so when one shows up, you get out there before the weather changes its mind. Around here, summer is just winter taking a smoke break.


Big weekends on the lake mean everybody is trying to get ready for boating season, including the crews doing algae treatment at the Prior Lake boat launch by our house. Apparently they were spreading alum, which is supposed to help clean up the lake.  I’m all for clean water but when you see giant industrial tanks parked next to the dock, your brain doesn’t immediately go, “Ah yes, recreation.” The sign said it was safe, which is comforting in the same way every official sign is comforting. You believe it, but you also keep Erin Brockovich’s number handy just in case.


The Korkowskis were crazy enough to host us on Fish Lake for the weekend, which either makes them saints or people with dangerously poor judgment. Either way, they always make us feel like part of the family. We kicked things off at the Clearwater Legion, where there was supposed to be some kind of horse racing event until it got canceled and forced us into our backup plan: donating money to pull tabs like responsible adults with no real understanding of odds.


Our families have been friends for years, which works out nicely because we all enjoy sitting around playing games and pretending we’re not way too competitive about it. They always have something new for us to learn, and this time it was Mah Jong, which I’m still trying to understand without looking like I need a court-appointed tutor. The good news is I’m much easier to beat when I don’t know the rules, so really, I was being generous. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Saturday morning brought us to the Clearwater Truck Stop for breakfast, which turned out to be way better than it had any right to be. They had caramel rolls, donuts as big as your head, and enough food on the plates to make you rethink every health goal you’ve ever pretended to have. I didn’t realize truckers were such fancy eaters. I figured it was all black coffee and regret, but apparently they’ve been hiding the good stuff next to the diesel pumps.


By Saturday night the sun finally started peeking out, so we did what any reasonable Minnesotans would do after complaining about the weather all weekend: immediately acted like it had been perfect the whole time. Mason was kind enough to captain our two-hour tour, and we cruised around Fish Lake looking for local bird friends, most of which we confidently identified wrong. But confidence counts for something, especially when the bird flies away before anyone can Google it.


I’ve never seen a cat who likes water, but apparently Karl the Kitty is built different. They had to hold him back a couple times like he was seriously considering a leap into the lake, though I still wonder if he would’ve really gone through with it. Cats are big on acting tough right up until reality gets wet.


Summer never sticks around long enough here, which is probably why we all act like lunatics the second it shows up. But that’s what makes weekends like this count. Good friends, good food, a little time on the water, and just enough questionable weather to remind you not to get cocky. Hopefully this is the start of the best summer yet, or at least one where we make enough good memories to forget how short it is.

@toddswank A friend asked me how come nobody ever sees Dinosaur Ghosts? #dinosaur #ghost ♬ Olympo Rave - Kobe Mane & SoyFlowers
@toddswank The challenge said randomly pick a photo from your phone to see what sound TikTok adds to it. #cats #boats #creatorsearchinsights ♬ original sound - duc

May 17, 2026

Witnessing the End of the 2026 Timberwolves

 

Witnessing the End of the 2026 Timberwolves

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for May 17, 2026


We headed downtown Friday night fired up to cheer on our beloved Timberwolves in Game 6, fully expecting the kind of playoff fight that would force a Game 7 and keep the dream alive. Avery and Abby joined us, with the original plan being Avery sitting with me in our usual seats while Miss Sheri and Abby prepared for the upper-deck fan survival experience. Ant was gonna go off. The crowd was gonna be nuts. Wemby was gonna have a long night. Hope was alive. Which, for Minnesota sports fans, is usually the first sign of trouble.


Jade has been our Timberwolves rep for a few years now, and right as the game was starting, she tracked down Miss Sheri with the kind of news that never happens to us. She surprised us with 4th-row floor seats behind the basket. Just like that, Abby got promoted to sit with Avery, and Sheri and I got a brief glimpse into how the rich people experience playoff basketball.


I was pretty fired up. I’d never had playoff seats this good. Sure, we once got courtside seats for a random summer Wolves exhibition where the rookies played some team from another country, which was cool... but let’s be honest, that’s basically basketball recess. This was a Friday night, Round 2, Game 6, win-or-go-home playoff basketball. This was the big time.


And now we were sitting close enough to watch our favorite player, Anthony Edwards, go toe-to-toe with Wemby, the most fascinating phenomenon in basketball, from just a few feet away. Every dunk, block, stare-down, and possible playoff meltdown was suddenly happening right in front of us. What kind of absolute chaos were we about to witness?


It didn’t take long to realize this might not be the magical playoff memory we’d imagined on the drive downtown. The Spurs came out looking calm, confident, and annoyingly competent, while the Wolves looked like a team trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions. Stephon Castle was cooking, San Antonio couldn’t seem to miss, and the energy in our fancy new seats started shifting from THIS IS AMAZING to uhhhh… is anyone else concerned?


There were still a few flashes that made you sit forward and think, okay... here we go. But if we’re being honest, San Antonio just looked like the better team most of this series. More confident. More composed. More answers. The Wolves never quite felt like the same team that punched Denver in the mouth in round one. That version of them apparently took a different exit.


And the supporting cast that helped take down Denver just never looked the same. Jaden wasn’t giving us those momentum-swinging moments, Rudy felt far less disruptive, and Julius Randle’s offense seemed to take an unexpected vacation. Against Denver, these guys felt like weapons. Against San Antonio, way too often they just felt... present.


Some of this is understandable when the other team has a guy who looks like AI was asked to build the perfect basketball player and ignored all normal human limitations. Wembanyama is 7-foot-4, handles like a guard, blocks everything, and somehow doesn’t move like a folding ladder. It’s absurd. Unfortunately, our magical VIP playoff experience ended the same way the Timberwolves season did... with a 139-109 punch to the face. And now comes the annual Minnesota tradition: pretending this roster is either one tweak away or in desperate need of demolition. Because right now, San Antonio and Oklahoma City look like they’re playing a different sport.


But hey, at least we got to rub shoulders with celebrities. Well... at least Minnesota famous. I got to bump into Mark Rosen, who has basically been narrating our local sports heartbreak for the last 50 years. If you grew up anywhere near the Twin Cities, you know exactly who Mark is.


And yet... despite the fact that Minnesota’s four major men’s pro sports teams haven’t won a championship since the Twins in 1991, Miss Sheri and I will absolutely keep showing up, wearing the gear, losing our voices, and convincing ourselves the Vikings or Timberwolves are finally about to reward our emotional instability. Because that’s what fans do. Hope is basically our regional personality trait at this point. And who knows... maybe 2027 is finally our year. Yes, I know. I’ve said that before.

@toddswank This kid might be really really good!. He’s by himself doing wind sprints an hour before Round 2 Game 6 against the Wolves. #wemby #spurs #wolves #nbaplayoff ♬ original sound - thu nguyen
@toddswank Let’s Go Wolves! Game 6 Round 2 2026 NBA Playoffs. #timberwolves #spurs #nbaplayoffs ♬ original sound - Todd Swank