32 Years Together. Still Our Greatest Adventure.

 

32 Years Together. Still Our Greatest Adventure.

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for February 15, 2026

Miss Sheri and I just wrapped a 5-day cruise on Wonder of the Seas to celebrate 32 years of marriage. Thirty-two Years. I honestly don’t know if that makes her loyal, patient, or clinically optimistic. She’s survived my ideas, my volume, and at least three different “this is the next big thing” phases. But hey — if you’re going to put up with me for three decades, you might as well get upgraded to balcony views and turquoise water. Turns out the real wonder isn’t the ship. It’s her.

We went on the cruise with our good friends Tom and Kellie Wolf — friends since Tom coached Luke and Avery in elementary school. The boys didn’t make the NBA, but we kept the coach anyway. That’s loyalty. First time traveling together, which is always risky when one member of the group (me) runs on high volume and questionable ideas. Turns out we survived five days, no one went overboard, and we’re still friends (I think!). That’s a win.

We launched out of Miami and spent our first night roaming South Beach like responsible adults with no responsibilities. Completely by accident, I wandered into the Miami Ink tattoo shop — first time back since I got inked there during the TLC show days. They’ve moved a few doors down, I didn’t recognize a soul, but the vibe was the same. Same walls, same energy, same flashbacks to when I thought reality TV fame was my next career move. Good times.

I’m posting the original video.  I still can’t believe it’s been more than 18 years since we flew to Miami so I could get tattooed on a reality TV show. Eighteen years. Still one of the favorite days of my life. There’s something about cameras, bright lights, and a needle buzzing your arm that really makes you feel alive. It was my biggest taste of fame, and I’ve basically been waiting for a Hollywood producer to call ever since. One of these days.

Sunday we woke up way too early to board the ship like it was the first day of school, except with sunscreen. By afternoon we were sailing out of Miami toward CocoCay and Nassau, waving at the skyline like we were in a movie montage. The weather was perfect, the food and drinks kept showing up, and the activity list was longer than my attention span. For five days, our biggest stress was deciding what to do next. That’s a pretty good problem to have.

One of the best—or most dangerous—things about a cruise is “all inclusive.” Translation: at any given moment we could wander into one of twelve restaurants and make poor but delicious decisions. And every night? Multi-course dinner in the main dining room like we were food critics with no deadlines. It was glorious. It was excessive. It was absolutely predictable. Now it’s time to return to the weight-loss plan and pretend none of those chocolate desserts ever happened.

Every night in the main dining room, these two legends, Anak and Gede from Indonesia, took care of us like we were royalty with questionable judgment. Then they casually mentioned they work seven months straight. Eleven to thirteen hours a day. No days off. That’s not “hustle culture.” That’s endurance. Meanwhile, I needed a nap after walking to the buffet. Grateful doesn’t even cover it. Absolute pros.

Every night after dinner we hit a different show — ice skating, high diving, singing, comedy. And then there was the action-adventure one where they sent drones and large flying devices over the audience like we were part of the stunt. Everyone else was clapping. I was calculating trajectory angles in case something dropped from the ceiling. It was impressive. It was loud. It was slightly terrifying. And yes… I’d absolutely go again.

The AquaTheater diving show is basically the Olympics meets controlled chaos. These athletes launch themselves off platforms that look irresponsibly high into a pool that looks aggressively small. Lights flashing, music pumping, ocean right there behind them. And I can’t help it — my brain immediately goes, “What if a random tidal wave just rolls in right now?” Everyone else is clapping. I’m scanning the horizon like I’m in a disaster movie. Still… unbelievable talent.

We watched The Effectors II: Crash ’n’ Burn, which is basically a superhero sequel on a cruise ship with drones. They had to stop the show twice for technical difficulties, which is never what you want to hear before they launch 100 flying objects over your head. At one point a massive, life-sized drone hovered above the crowd on cables. Everyone else was cheering. I was replaying the words “technical difficulties” in my head and calculating impact zones. Still… wildly impressive.

The ice skating show was no joke. The rink isn’t huge — it’s basically a very ambitious frozen living room — but these skaters acted like they were in the Olympics. Spins, flips, full human tosses, costumes that looked like they raided a Broadway warehouse. At one point I realized they’re doing this on a moving ship… on ice. Meanwhile, I can barely walk across my driveway in January. Legitimate talent. 

Of course Miss Sheri and I had to jump into karaoke. Cruise ship audiences are extremely supportive, especially after a few drinks, which gives me just enough confidence to believe a record deal is imminent. The only flaw in this plan? I can’t really sing. I can, however, fire up a crowd like I’m running for office. Sheri’s the one with actual talent. She even told the audience it was our 32nd anniversary and had them cheering like we’d just won something. Absolute pro.

We almost had as much fun off the boat as on it. Royal Caribbean literally bought their own island — CocoCay — which is either genius hospitality or the greatest vertical integration play in vacation history. You’re still on the drink package, still swiping your SeaPass, just now with palm trees. Cynical? Sure. Effective? Absolutely. And I’ll take a clean, organized island over dodging aggressive street vendors any day. It’s corporate paradise… and it works.

I’ve always wanted to try a glass bottom boat, so when it popped up as an option, I was in. Expectations? Manageable. I was picturing murky water and one confused fish. Instead, we got clear views and actual marine life. The best part though? The tour guides — native islanders who knew the water like it was their backyard. Funny, sharp, and genuinely knowledgeable. Way better than just staring at water and guessing what we’re seeing.

It was way cooler than I expected. Fish everywhere, sea urchins, sea biscuits, sea dollars, sea cucumbers — basically the entire “Sea” section of the dictionary. Then a massive stingray glides by like it owns the place. And just when you think it’s a wholesome nature tour, they casually point out two separate plane wrecks from drug runners who didn’t stick the landing. Nothing like tropical beauty mixed with a little true crime. Vacation with layers.

Nassau was… educational. The “tour” promised Atlantis, Fort Fincastle, Queen’s Staircase. Technically we saw them — from the parking lot. No going inside. Instead we got dropped at a rum cake shop in the middle of nowhere and a flea market where we were the only customers, which apparently activates Predator Mode for vendors. Razor wire everywhere. I asked about crime. Guide goes, “Oh that? Eighties cocaine.” Nothing says paradise like vintage crackhead infrastructure.

The Queen’s Staircase was actually impressive. Sixty-some steps carved out of solid limestone by hand — you can feel the history down there, even if you’re just taking it in from the bottom. The rest of the crew did the climb and came back with the same report: cool site, great photos, legit worth seeing. The punchline? At the top it basically funnels you straight into… more street vendors. Not sure the Queen had to navigate that.

One bright spot in Nassau? John Watling’s Distillery. Historic estate from 1789, hand-crafted small-batch rum, lush gardens… the whole “respectable culture” package. They walk you through barrels and aging like you’re about to start your own pirate side hustle. Then they land the plane with Piña Coladas at the Tavern. Complimentary tour, generous pours. Suddenly the bus excursion felt like a brilliant strategic decision. History is nice. Frozen rum drinks are nicer.

There’s something humbling about standing on a floating city, staring at water so blue it looks fake, realizing the world is bigger than your routine. We laughed, ate too much, saw things we never would’ve seen from our living room in Prior Lake. Royal Caribbean does it right. Big, bold, unapologetic. It gets you out there. And sometimes that’s exactly what you need.

@toddswank We were still waiting to launch. This is the cruise ship that was next to us already launching. #wonderoftheseas #launch #cruise #cruiseship #MSC ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

@toddswank Something Big is Happening. AI Disruption will be Bigger than Covid was in 2020. Ignore it or learn it. Your call. #AI #FutureOfWork #TechTok #LearnAI #Innovation ♬ The Champion - Lux-Inspira

Target Center Date Night, Wolves Gonna Wolves

Target Center Date Night, Wolves Gonna Wolves

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for February 7, 2026

On Friday night, Miss Sheri and I found ourselves at Target Center again, doing what we do, smiling, yelling, and pretending we’ve learned anything from years of Minnesota sports. The Timberwolves have been up and down all season, but coming off their first win in Toronto in more than 20 years, this one felt like a no-brainer. The Pelicans were 13–40. At home. What could go wrong? Turns out, plenty. Same Wolves energy, same emotional whiplash, but it didn’t really matter, because hanging out with my awesome wife, soaking in the noise, and watching this team together still feels like a pretty great Friday night.

On Thursday the Timberwolves traded for Ayo Dosunmu. I didn’t know much about him before, but from everything I’ve read it sounds like they might’ve pulled off an actual steal. We were hoping to see his debut, but apparently the plan is to ease him in first, which feels responsible and therefore slightly suspicious. Still, it’s nice to believe the Wolves made a smart, boring move that helps instead of a flashy one that explodes later.

This was one of those games the Wolves absolutely should’ve won, which of course meant they sleepwalked through defense, treated effort like an optional upgrade, and lost 119–115. They were up 18 in the second half, because Minnesota loves a head start before the collapse. Zion lived in the paint like he paid rent, a Pelicans rookie turned into Ray Allen for a night, and the Wolves waited until the final minute to look interested. Ant scored 35, everyone else watched, and Target Center got another reminder that “should’ve won” is basically our team slogan.

@toddswank Let’s go Timberwolves!! #timberwolves #minnesota #nba ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

@toddswank AI agents are now hiring humans. Yes, really. #ArtificialIntelligence #TechTrends #FutureOfWork #RentaHuman #agenticai ♬ son original - Sebstation

Hands Up In The Middle Of Minnesota Winter

Hands Up In The Middle Of Minnesota Winter

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for February 1, 2026

Minnesota went full bully mode this week. Wind chills sat at 20 to 30 below and didn’t let up. I escaped to Denver for work, even if it was only one night. Still talking tech. Still talking AI. Just fewer layers. Warmer air. Winter lost a round, and that tiny dose of warmth was enough to reset my brain before heading back into the tundra.

Flying out, we passed right over Prior Lake. My house sits a little south and west of this view. From up here it finally clicked. We don’t live by lakes. We live in an ice cube tray. Somewhere in God’s freezer. One of these years I’m leaving Minnesota for the winter. I’ve been saying that since the Obama administration.

A quiet weekend overall. We did get out for dinner at PLate, which we hadn’t done in a while. No big plans. No rush. Just good food and time together. The steak was really good. The space felt comfortable. Exactly the right amount of effort for January.

I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately about whether we’re sitting in an asset bubble. Gold and silver have been on a tear. Then I walk into Costco and they’re selling gold bars like big-screen TVs. That usually feels like a signal. When the masses show up, the easy money already left. Right on cue, metals took a big selloff Friday. Probably coincidence. Probably also a decent time to think about selling.

Since we didn’t do much this weekend, I talked my wife into driving me out on the lake so I could get the ice-house shot. Even though the ice is quite solid after weeks of deep freeze, that logic still doesn’t comfort a non-swimmer like Miss Sheri. Convincing her to drive her SUV out there is always a negotiation. She sighed. She drove. I got the picture. I’m lucky she supports my weird little missions in life.

@toddswank Does OpenClaw plus MoltBook equal Skynet? How do I use it to get rich before that happens? #moltbook #skynet #openclaw #agenticai #terminator ♬ Powerful songs like action movie music - Tansa

Growling Instead of Singing at the Hop House Brewery

 

Growling Instead of Singing at the Hop House Brewery

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for January 25, 2026

We were bored on Wednesday night and heard something different was happening at Hop House Brewery at Mystic Lake. Hop House is a big, polished, modern brewery built like a sportsbook, with massive screens, a real stage, and the kind of setup that feels like it’s waiting for chaos. Sports betting isn’t legal in Minnesota yet, so instead of taking bets they’re experimenting, trying to figure out what actually pulls people in midweek. One strategy was impossible to miss. A karaoke contest. With a $2,500 grand prize.

Hop House isn’t messing around when it comes to live music. On weekends they bring in bands, so the place is built like a real performance venue, with a legit stage, high-end audio gear, and lighting that makes even amateurs feel briefly professional. We love karaoke and this place is a good fit for it.

I’d love to say we crushed it, but this is real life, not a Hallmark Christmas movie. Sheri has a genuinely beautiful voice. I mostly growl through my songs, which tends to surprise people who were expecting singing. There were a lot of talented performers, so we slipped out before the winner was announced, fairly confident our names weren’t involved. The contest runs through April, though, and the place is too fun to rule out a return. Especially if we can recruit a few brave Prior Lake friends to join us. Hint. Hint.

Thursday night took us to Target Center, where the Timberwolves were trying to shake off a three-game losing streak. Chicago was in town, the building was full, and the optimism level was high. We felt confident this was one of those nights where we could start winning again.

Miss Sheri joined me for the game, and I made the bold pregame decision to get a fresh haircut, turning my head into a highly reflective surface. Apparently it worked, because a buddy texted me midgame to say he spotted me on TV, guided entirely by the glare. If the Wolves ever need a backup arena light, I’m available.

The game sucked. The Wolves built a lead, got everyone comfortable, and then pulled the rug out late. Chicago finished on a 9–0 run. Minnesota lost 120-115.  There were some good individual performances, which somehow made it more irritating. Fourth straight loss.  Is a trade needed?

Friday night took us to the Savage Tap with the Browns and the Zitzewitzes, which is pretty much a guaranteed win. Good beer, zero pressure, and a guy named Woody playing guitar and singing classics like he’s been doing it forever. The kind of place where the music’s loud enough to feel alive but quiet enough to chat about movies and TV shows without shouting. Lots of laughs, questionable opinions, and the exact kind of night you wish you could schedule every week.

Ron and Kristie Myers were in the Twin Cities for their daughter Alyssa’s volleyball tournament, so we did the only reasonable thing and went out in 30-below windchill weather to cheer her on. That kind of cold doesn’t build character, it just tests friendships. A few games, a lot of yelling, and a great time with old buddies. Worth it.

As a bonus, I got a full immersion experience in middle school girls’ volleyball, which is way more intense than advertised. These girls are competitive, loud, and all business, with rallies full of sets, bumps, spikes, dinks, and the occasional perfectly timed doink. The energy never drops, and neither do the cheers, which arrive on cue after every big moment.  Ace! Ace! Ace!

@toddswank It is darned cold in Minnesota! Alexa is trying to be cute and say Brrrr…she doesn’t quit get it! #ai #alexa #brrr #cold #minnesota ♬ The Office (Main Theme) - Knightsbridge

@toddswank I’m having a full out anxiety attack watching this guy climb a skyscraper on Netflix! #freesolo #skyscraper #netflix #alexhonnold #climb ♬ Danger - SoundAudio

Hiding From Winter at the St. Paul RV Show

 

Hiding from Winter at the St. Paul RV Show

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for January 18, 2026

Monday night we celebrated Abby’s birthday at Kona Grill in Eden Prairie. We like sushi, but not at full-price, mortgage-payment levels. The night completely turned when we discovered it was all-night happy hour. Suddenly everyone was relaxed, ordering freely, and feeling smarter than we actually are. Miss Sheri still hates seafood, but even she appreciated the financial victory.

Wednesday night took us down to Lonsdale with Luke, his roommates, and the Walters, which is always a reliable recipe for things getting louder than planned. It really went off the rails after Miss Sheri and I both won bingo, at which point we were yelling “Bingo” and “Social” like we were best friends with everyone in the room.

Friday night was a different kind of bingo at the Shakopee VFW with our Euchre crew. Music Bingo, where you play for random T-shirts and stray beer glasses behind the bar, which is exactly our level of prize ambition. The twist was finding out it was all country music, which listening to normally makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Still, with this group, it was impossible not to have a good time.

This past weekend we braved freezing temperatures to hit the St. Paul RV Show, one of Minnesota’s favorite winter traditions where hundreds of RVs are packed indoors so we can all pretend summer isn’t still months away. 

I also ran into my old buddy and former coworker Rob Bauer, who I hadn’t seen in years. Seeing him alone was worth the price of admission, which, conveniently, was free.

Nothing wraps up the week quite like discovering a fully operational trout pond inside a convention center. It’s wholesome, a little redneck, and somehow makes perfect sense in the middle of winter. The kids made memories. The trout requested legal representation.