March 29, 2026

Looks like Spring. Smells like a Setup.

 


Looks like Spring. Smells like a Setup.
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 29, 2026


It feels like spring showed up. It’s 70, the sun’s out, and everyone’s acting like we made it… then you look at Prior Lake and there’s still ice sitting out there. We even saw a few boats already, which feels a little aggressive. We’ll give it a bit before we jump in.


Grandma Linda is still plugging away in rehab, and we stop by a couple times a week to break up the boredom… which is winning by a mile right now. One more week until her hip replacement, and we’re all hoping that’s the last stop before she’s back home. Her neighbors even reached out because they hadn’t seen her and were thinking about a welfare check, which is really sweet… and somehow made me feel guilty for something I’m pretty sure I didn’t do.

Thursday night we hit Crooked Pint with the Walters for some bingo. Miss Sheri came in hot, split the first coverall with another player, then came back and took the second one all by herself. I’m just sitting there realizing… I had no idea how much it turns me on to watch my wife yell “Bingo” in public.


Friday night was Music Bingo with the Euchre crew at the VFW in Shakopee. Our luck cooled off a bit, but it was a lot of fun trying to remember song titles from the 70s and 80s like your reputation depends on it. I asked everyone to grab a picture… and didn’t notice the guy in back chiming in with the universal sign for “this was a terrible idea.” Apparently my photo request really struck a nerve.


The only other real highlight of the weekend was checking out the brand new Caribou Coffee at Mystic Lake. Very fancy setup… which is exactly what you want right before making questionable gambling decisions. Nothing like a little extra caffeine to speed up the losing process.

@toddswank Every comeback feels real… until it isn’t. #TigerWoods #GolfTok #SportsDrama #ComebackStory ♬ Bad to the Bone - B.sound
@toddswank “Silicon Valley joked about Middle-Out. Turboquant just made it real. AI just got faster and cheaper overnight.” #AI #ArtificialIntelligence #Turboquant #Google #middleout ♬ Suspense|Heavy bass line of unsettling tension - Timeless AI

March 22, 2026

Four Seasons. Same Dang Week!

 


Four Seasons. Same Dang Week!
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 22, 2026


It was the first day of spring this week, but in Minnesota that doesn’t mean much. Our weather is completely bipolar. Last Saturday we got almost 14 inches of snow, this Saturday it was pushing 80 degrees, and today we’re right back down to 35 like nothing ever happened. At least the ice on the lakes, ponds, and rivers is finally starting to give up. Judging by this crew, the birds have been waiting all winter for their pool to reopen… and they’re not wasting a second.

I was pretty excited to get this shot, even though apparently this guy is a fairly common sight around Prior Lake. ChatGPT tells me it’s a male Hooded Merganser, which sounds impressive until you realize it’s basically the bird version of “yeah, we’ve got a lot of those around here.”  Still… look at him. This guy walked into the barbershop and said, “Just a little off the sides,” and the barber chose violence.


Long-time readers of my blog know our history with albino squirrels. I’d never seen one in my life, and then after our twin boys were born, they started showing up in our yard every time something stressful was going on.  This happened across two different houses in differnt cities.   It got to the point where we started thinking of them as little guardian angels. Then the boys moved out… and the sightings stopped. Until this week. My mom called with good news that her hip surgery was being moved up, and while I was on the phone I looked outside and saw this guy across the street. I told Grandma Linda that means she’s gonna be just fine.


Tuesday night was our last regular season home game for the Timberwolves, and also our last time sitting in the end zone. We only had these seats for part of this season, but it was a fun perspective… minus the small issue of the basket occasionally blocking everything important. After a few games of guessing what just happened, we decided to switch it up for next year and try a new angle. Same team, same energy, just hopefully a clearer view of the actual game.


The opponent Tuesday night was the Phoenix Suns, a team that’s given the Wolves problems before, and we had to face them without Anthony Edwards. Add in the fact that we’d lost 4 of our last 5 and the Western Conference playoff race is basically a knife fight right now… not exactly the confidence boost you’re looking for walking into Target Center. Everything I was seeing beforehand said this was a huge opportunity for Phoenix with Ant out and the Wolves slipping a bit, which is usually right about the time Minnesota fans start emotionally preparing for the worst.


Then the game started and all that worry went out the window. They were down early which felt very on brand, but once they settled in they completely took control. Julius Randle was unstoppable with 32, Bones Hyland gave them a huge spark off the bench, Gobert owned the glass, and the defense started making life miserable. They broke it open with a big run late in the third and cruised to a 116-104 win. No Ant, no problem.

With the temperatures finally warming up this week, we’re trying to take advantage and get back out for our hikes. On Thursday we made it over to Sunset Pond in Savage and did a loop around the water, which is still covered in that dirty, end-of-winter ice that looks like it could give up at any second. It’s that awkward Minnesota phase where it’s warm enough to be outside, but everything still looks like winter’s hanging on out of spite.


Saturday felt like Minnesota showing off, flirting with 80 degrees like it hasn’t spent the last five months trying to freeze us out of existence, so we headed over the Bloomington Ferry Bridge to soak it in. The Minnesota River was actually moving like it remembered its job, which was nice to see, but the trails were still a soggy mess, cutting our walk shorter than we wanted. Classic early spring here… perfect weather, terrible footing, and just enough hope to keep you coming back.


We wrapped up the walk with a stop at The Landing, which always feels like you accidentally stepped onto the set of Little House on the Prairie and nobody told you to act normal. It’s this preserved 1800s village along the river with old shops, homes, and just enough history to remind you how different life used to be. We don’t get out there often, maybe once every few years, but every time we do it’s a cool reminder that people survived just fine without Wi-Fi, DoorDash, or complaining about soggy trails.

This week we got lucky and had Avery and Abby stop by twice, which doesn’t happen often with how busy their schedules are. Sometimes a couple weeks go by without seeing them, and then out of nowhere we get back-to-back visits like this. Nothing big planned, just time around the table catching up, but those are the nights you realize how much you miss it when it doesn’t happen.

@toddswank Japan finally sending in its most reliable maritime reopening specialist. Strait of Hormuz crisis: solved. Hashtags: #StraitOfHormuz #Godzilla #BreakingNews #Geopolitics #Satire ♬ Rites of War - Damien Deshayes

March 15, 2026

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Grill

 

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Grill

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 15, 2026


This was taken down at Target Center during the Timberwolves Select-A-Seat event, which is basically where fans walk around the arena pretending they’re calm, rational adults while deciding how much more money they’d like to emotionally invest in a basketball team. The Wolves had just ripped off a five-game win streak and climbed all the way to the 3rd seed in the West… and then immediately started playing like absolute garbage and lost four of the last five. So naturally Miss Sheri and I decided it was the perfect moment to reinvest in season tickets for next year. Minnesota sports logic at its finest.


Grandma Linda is getting settled into rehab and had a good week, including getting her hip surgery scheduled for the end of April. We’re still not sure if insurance will let her stay there until then or if she’ll have to go home for a while, but in the meantime PT and OT are clearly working. She’s already figured out how to zip around the place in that wheelchair like it’s an F1 car, which is both impressive and slightly concerning for the rest of the hallway traffic.


Thursday night brought us to Hop House Brewery at Mystic Lake Casino to meet up with Miss Sheri’s cousin Mary and her husband Michael. Even though we all live in the Twin Cities, somehow these get-togethers don’t happen nearly as often as they should. Thankfully a couple beers and a table full of stories fixes that pretty quickly. Great catching up with them and remembering why we always say we need to do this more often… right before another six months slips by.


Friday night we drove down to Rochester to see Bert Kreischer. I’d never actually seen his stand-up before, but I did enjoy his Netflix show Free Bert and knew he was the comedian who takes his shirt off for some reason. I’m still not entirely sure why that’s part of the act, but apparently thousands of people are perfectly happy paying money to watch a grown man take his shirt off and start telling stories. Honestly, the more I think about it… that’s a move a lot of guys I know would try for free.


This was actually Luke’s Christmas gift to us. He bought tickets for us to see John Mulaney in Minneapolis, but that show got postponed after the ICE riots shut half the city down. So like any modern Christmas present, it slowly evolved into something different. You start with tickets to a sharply dressed comedian who’s openly battled cocaine addiction… and somehow end up at a show where the headliner takes his shirt off & starts telling drinking stories. Christmas gifts can be weird like that.


Bert put on a great show. A lot of his stories revolve around his legendary drinking days, but he mentioned he’s not drinking right now while dealing with some health issues. That part actually hit a little close to home for me since technically I’m a couple years older than him and have my own collection of health challenges these days.  It’s a weird moment when the shirtless party guy on stage starts talking about health and you find yourself nodding along.


Our week ended with dinner and games with our good friends Karl and Tina Zitzewitz. We’d originally planned to go out, but changed plans when we heard about the massive blizzard heading our way. For once the weather people actually got it right and Prior Lake picked up about 14 inches of snow in the past 24 hours. Just when we thought it was finally safe to start thinking about getting the lawnmower ready again.
@toddswank A few years ago I would’ve heard Python, Linux, and Ubuntu and thought, “Yeah… that’s for somebody smarter than me.” Now I’m building my own little AI lab and learning this stuff in public with ChatGPT as my trusted advisor. If I can do it, you can too. #AI #LearnAI #TechTok #SwankVentures ♬ Background music for training at a strength and bodybuilding gym - Lounge Vibes

March 8, 2026

Minnesota’s Annual “Maybe It’s Spring” Moment

 

Minnesota’s Annual “Maybe It’s Spring” Moment

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 8, 2026


Grandma Linda is doing well in rehab. She gets a little frustrated with the sudden loss of independence, but the staff is taking great care of her and, for now, she doesn’t have much choice. With her hip waiting to be replaced, she’s not allowed to put any weight on one leg, which turns even simple things into a production. The kids joined us to bring her lunch, and we ended up having a really nice visit together. Sometimes the best medicine isn’t in the rehab plan… it’s just showing up and sitting around the table for a while.


Saturday night it was our turn to host the monthly Euchre tournament. We’ve been playing with this crew for a few years now and it’s become one of those nights you always look forward to. Euchre, for the uninitiated, is a Midwestern card game where four people sit down politely… and about twenty minutes later everyone is loudly explaining why their partner completely ruined the hand. The only downside is that despite years of effort, neither Sheri nor I have ever actually won the tournament. I personally get “set” so often I’m starting to think it’s less a card strategy and more of a personality trait.


The weather even cooperated this week. It’s been in the 60s, the ice is finally starting to break open on the lakes, and you can actually see water again instead of that gray frozen sheet we’ve been staring at for months. Around here that’s basically the official signal that spring has arrived. Of course, this is Minnesota, so there’s still a very real chance we could get a surprise blizzard in a few days. Until then, we’re doing our best to enjoy it while the sun’s out and the air doesn’t hurt our face.
@toddswank I started posting my life online in 1999. Now I’m learning AI, AI video, and agentic AI before the next wave rolls in without me. If I can figure this out, you can too. #AI #AgenticAI #AITools #FutureOfWork #SwankVentures ♬ The Champion - Lux-Inspira

March 1, 2026

Ghost Hunting the Streets of Minneapolis

Ghost Hunting the Streets of Minneapolis

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 1, 2026


Sunday morning we’re on the couch watching Team USA win Olympic gold, Jack Hughes takes a puck to the mouth, loses a tooth, and somehow looks tougher for it. USA! USA! A few hours later I bite into a completely harmless calzone and my 2011 crown decides it’s done serving this nation and drops onto my plate. Same tooth. He gets glory and a medal. I get to cut up my food in small pieces and a dentist appointment. America is beautiful.


Grandma Linda had a rough week. After months of hip pain, an MRI basically said, “Yeah… that thing’s shot.” Now she’s under strict orders not to put weight on her left leg until surgery in early April, which means a temporary stay in rehab. The good news? She’s handling it like a champ. The bad news? She’s 83 and benched. So now we hang out at the hottest new spot in town: Rehab. Great people. Zero happy hour.

Friday night we met Sue and Ron Korkowski at Copper Hen & Cakery for Restaurant Week, which is basically adult Christmas with wine pairings. The place is all cozy farmhouse vibes, scratch kitchen, local ingredients, and cupcakes staring at you from across the room like they know your weaknesses. I went beef bread and tandori chicken, which sounds aggressive but tasted like Minnesota met India and decided to hug it out. It was the special, which is perfect because I only feel adventurous when it’s pre-approved and discounted.


The main reason we were getting together was for the Candlelight Ghost Tour aboard the Minneapolis Trolley. We started our adventure at the Pillsbury Club, grabbed our boarding passes, and headed out into the Minneapolis night with zero idea what we were about to hear. Flickering candlelight, creaky historic streets, and stories of haunted houses. Nothing bonds friends faster than willingly climbing onto a trolley to go look for ghosts in February.


This was our first trip on the Minneapolis Trolley, a decommissioned New Orleans car lovingly restored and now cruising Minneapolis like it owns the place. It started as a weekend hop on hop off ride with a live narrator spinning stories about railroads, lumber mills, architecture, and all the drama that built this city. They offer brewery tours, historic homes, and holiday rides. We read all that and immediately chose the Candlelight Ghost Tour because apparently history is better when someone might still be haunting it.


They handed us fake light up candles, which is smart because apparently real fire and historic buildings don’t mix. We rolled through dark corners of Minneapolis hearing stories about haunted houses while clutching our plastic flames. Then they gave us these neon glasses that I’m pretty sure were either for “enhanced paranormal activity” or just to make middle aged adults look ridiculous on purpose. Either way, we committed.

Cole was our guide for the Ghost Tour, and the guy did not phone it in. Full commitment. Dramatic pauses. Perfect haunted eye contact. As we rolled through downtown and over to Nicollet Island, he told stories of turn of the century murders, mysterious deaths, and sightings that still rattle people who live there. The trolley lights dimmed, the city got quieter, and suddenly every historic building looked like it had secrets. Cole didn’t just tell ghost stories. He performed them.


One of the stops was the Oakland Apartments, built in 1889, which looks charming until you hear about the suicides, murders, and a basement spirit that apparently decided, “I’m staying.” Residents talk about whispers, cold spots, and the original janitor who never really left his post. And there I am realizing the big silver building behind it used to be my old Oracle office. I worked there every day for years and had no idea I was spending my 9 to 5 next to a haunted basement. That feels like something HR should mention.


This is the actual basement that hasn't changed since it was built. The boiler room where the old janitor supposedly still hangs around, guarding his furnace like it’s a union job he never retired from. Dark stone walls. Relics that look like nobody’s touched them since 1923. And here’s the part that got me: this is where current residents go to do laundry. We even asked one woman if she’s seen a ghost. “No,” she said. “But I hear things.” Fantastic. Imagine folding towels next to a haunted boiler while a trolley full of tourists comes in to see dead people.


Our tour wrapped up at 300 Clifton, this stunning historic mansion tucked right into downtown like it’s been quietly judging modern architecture for a century. Built in 1908 and now a restored bed and breakfast, it’s all carved wood, chandeliers, fireplaces, and old money energy. The ghost stories were great, but seeing these preserved homes up close was just as cool. Minneapolis hides some serious gems behind very normal looking streets.


If I learned anything, it’s this: every beautiful place has a story, and not all of them end neatly. Cities aren’t just glass towers and brunch spots. They’re layers of ambition, tragedy, reinvention, and yes, maybe a lingering janitor or two. We came for ghosts, but we left remembering that history sticks around whether you believe in it or not.