July 6, 2025

Joining a Dolphin Stampede in San Diego


Joining a Dolphin Stampede in San Diego

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for July 6, 2025


Miss Sheri and I went to San Diego for a weeklong family vacation at Mission Beach. We stayed somewhere so pretty it felt like a screensaver—if your screensaver came with sand in your sheets and a seagull that kept making direct, unsettling eye contact.


Luke joined us for the whole trip because he’s the kind of guy who hears “wild animals on a beach” and says, “Let’s get closer.” The sea lions at La Jolla Cove put on a full reality show, complete with a screaming crowd and surprise chase scenes—basically SeaWorld without the guilt or ticket prices.


We spent much of our time visiting a wide variety of beaches in search of tide pools—either San Diego’s hiding them or we’re just really bad at marine biology. Ocean Beach was mostly rocks, disappointment, and a few hippies who looked like they’d already claimed the best shells.


We finally found actual tide pools on a beach in Coronado—after scrambling over rocks sharp enough to void a shoe warranty. A little girl yelled she'd spotted three stingrays, and sure enough, there they were… just hanging out like they’d reserved the place on Airbnb.


We loved La Jolla Cove so much we went back three times—but not enough to participate in a cliff plunge. We passed the “Unstable Cliffs” sign, sure, but stopped short of the edge where the truly bold (or dangerously confident) were dangling over shark infested waters.


We really enjoyed visiting the USS Midway Museum—a giant floating maze of planes, stories, and ladders that double as quad workouts. Between the claustrophobic bunks and narrow hallways, I now fully respect every sailor who lived on this thing without losing their mind or accidentally becoming part of the ventilation system.


It was really cool visiting the bridge and getting a bird’s eye view of the ship—and imagining what it was like when this place was packed with jets, sailors, and real chaos instead of tourists and souvenirs.


Avery joined us on Wednesday, so we took him up the coast to Torrey Pines Gliderport—where friendly strangers tried to convince us that running off a cliff with a glorified picnic blanket was totally normal. It did look amazing… but knowing my luck, I’d be the guy who takes a left turn and ends up trending on a Coast Guard rescue page.


We had to introduce Avery to our new sea lion friends, since he also enjoys getting way too close to wild animals with no exit strategy. The nearby rookery had a 1,300-pound male they called “Submarine”—probably because if he charges, you're going under whether you like it or not.


The four of us went on a deep sea fishing trip near La Jolla Cove over the kelp beds—hoping to catch a bunch of fish and not embarrass ourselves. We nailed the first part with nearly 20 spotted bass… and I personally made sure no fish felt left out by letting most of them swim right past me.


Miss Sheri isn’t usually big on fishing, but she always jumps in with a smile—and for a while, she was flat-out dominating the leaderboard. She eventually had to take a little break to settle her stomach—sea conditions: 1, Miss Sheri: 0—but she bounced back like a champ.


Avery was doing great—he and Luke were reeling in spotted bass like it was their side hustle. Eventually we declared extra credit for catching anything not named “spotted bass,” and sure enough, they both pulled in baby barracudas. Adorable little killers, but not quite entrΓ©e-sized.


Luke was the big winner of the day, landing fish from three different species—including this beauty, a sheepshead. Must’ve been a hot catch, because the captain scooped it up faster than we could say “photo op.” He knew we weren’t keeping fish and said this one was headed straight to his dinner plate.


After the fishing trip, Avery and I hit the bay for some paddle boarding—he nailed it, of course, then headed off to boogie board with the locals while I stayed back like a worried lifeguard who forgot his whistle. I lost sight of him for a bit and mildly panicked… which is dad-speak for “started planning a coast-wide search and rescue.


On Thursday night, Abby finally joined us—completing the human portion of the family vacation. Now that everyone had arrived and roll call was done, the real fun could begin… assuming no one wandered off, got seasick, or tried to hug a sea lion.


Of course we had to take her to see the sea lions—mainly so she could take a nice photo of the four of us. I really liked how it turned out… but next time, we’ll ask someone else to take the picture so she can be in it also.


We saved our best adventures for last. Friday night we set off on a sunset whale watching cruise… hoping to spot whales, which of course meant we didn’t. But what we got instead was something even better: a front-row seat to one of those rare, unforgettable moments you don’t see coming.


Near the edge of the shelf—where the ocean floor drops from a polite 75 feet to a gaping 1200—we suddenly heard our naturalist get giddy. She said we were about to witness something rare. And then, like a surprise party thrown by the sea, a Megapod of Dolphins came stampeding straight toward us.


A megapod is defined as a group of more than 1,000 dolphins traveling together—and not only did we witness one, but they stampeded alongside our boat for more than 15 minutes. According to the naturalist, that kind of close-up encounter is incredibly rare. To us, it just felt like pure magic.


Saturday we tackled the world-famous San Diego Zoo—and yes, it lived up to the hype. We all showed up for the pandas, but walked away unexpectedly obsessed with the hippos. Turns out, 3,500 pounds of underwater swagger beats bamboo-munching fluff every time.


Like all good vacations, this one ended way too fast. We wrapped things up with a stroll through Mission Beach, Belmont Park, and a whole lot of people-watching. San Diego has officially made the “we’re definitely coming back” list… again.

@toddswank We had a fun encounter with the sea lions at La Jolla Cove. #sealions #lajolla ♬ original sound - Todd Swank
@toddswank My son took out the paddle board for the first time. While watching him drift out there, I started getting paranoid about something crazy happening. So I used AI to animate my imagination. He was fine. #paddleboarding #oceanfear #wasthatawhale? ♬ original sound - Missy Elliott
@toddswank Paddle boarding turned into surfing. #paddleboarding #surfing ♬ sonido original - πŸ§‘π™ˆπ™ͺπ™¨π™žπ™˜π™›π™–π™£π™–π™©π™žπ™˜π™€
@toddswank We ran into a mega pod of dolphins on our San Diego Whale Watching Cruise!! #megapod #dolphins #whalewatching #sandiego ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

June 22, 2025

Perspiration, Boat Vibration, and a Graduation, Hot Start to Summer!

 


Perspiration, Boat Vibration, and a Graduation, Hot Start to Summer!

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for June 22, 2025


We took the boat out to celebrate the first day of summer. Great night—if you like your fun served at 95 degrees and lightly broiled.


We’d been trying to line this up with Abby and Avery for weeks—and finally made it happen. Of course we had to cruise by Bird Island, where the cormorants, blue herons, and egrets were hosting what looked like a full-blown eviction party for their almost-grown kids. Total chaos, total squawking.


We stopped for dinner at Charlie’s on Prior, which we’re glad we enjoy—because it’s also the only boat-accessible restaurant on the lake. Not a lot of options when you're cruising hungry, unless you're into chips and warm Gatorade.


I’ve enjoyed live music at Charlie’s before, but this was the first time I remember them setting the band on the dock. Sounded great—just hoping their next big splash isn’t a literal one.


On Saturday, we drove to Woodbury, Minnesota to celebrate Parker Hornbuckle’s high school graduation. Smart, kind, and clearly destined for big things—can’t wait to see where life takes this young man next.


We go back decades with Parker’s parents, Chris and Teresa. The Hornbuckles have been amazing friends through the years, and even though we don’t get to see them as often these days, we always jump at the chance. Good people, good laughs, good times—every time.


Nothing beats catching up with old friends. We were only together for a couple of hours, but the stories flowed—some I’d never heard, others I could recite myself. Didn’t matter. Still got the same belly laughs. That’s how you know it’s the good stuff.
@toddswank Cyber Truck Wheelie! #tesla #cybertruck #wheelie ♬ Original Sound - Unknown
@toddswank 🐾🌊 Sea monster? Nope. Just a 10-ton water pup looking for love. #SeaMonster #BeachScare #UnexpectedFriendship ♬ Jaws Theme - Jaws
@toddswank Chris said AI couldn’t make him look like a goofball. So I did what any good friend would do… I proved him wrong on the internet. Scoreboard: AI – 1 Chris – 0 #GoofballChronicles #AIVengeance #TikTokHumor #AIvsChris #FriendshipTest #ViralVideo #ToddSwankDotCom ♬ Chichiquetere - HCTM

June 15, 2025

Oracle FY26 Kickoff: What Happens in Orlando…

 


Oracle FY26 Kickoff: What Happens in Orlando…
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for June 15, 2025


Monday morning I woke up and flew to Orlando for four nights in the blazing Florida heat. It was the start of a packed week of meetings, nonstop networking, and figuring out where the heck I was supposed to be next. As usual, the flight in hit heavy turbulence—something about Florida air just wants to shake you up. I used a Navy SEAL breathing trick I learned from ChatGPT to keep my cool. Didn’t cry. Much.


Monday night started our FY26 Oracle NACI Sales kickoff event with dinner and laughs alongside my manager and teammates. 
It was our first big in-person gathering since Covid—and with more than 2,000 people in attendance, this ended up being the only time I saw most of my team all week. Still, it was a great way to kick off the chaos.


More than 2,000 of us from NACI—North America Cloud Infrastructure—packed into Orlando as Oracle dropped its FY25 results. Cloud Infrastructure hit $3.0B in Q4 alone, up 52% YoY. Leadership was fired up, and the message was clear: great job… now go out and top it.


We all roll up to Mark Hura, EVP of North America Cloud Infrastructure—and frankly, it's hard not to get fired up when you hear him speak. With AI driving record demand for OCI, and leadership that’s both sharp and grounded, it feels like we’re sitting in the eye of the perfect tech storm… in the best way possible.


Eventually, we split into org breakouts. My team rolls up to Chris Gandolfo, EVP of North America OCI & AI Sales. He’s been at the center of Oracle’s biggest AI infrastructure wins. It’s genuinely exciting to be on this ride—feels like the rocket just cleared the launchpad and no one really knows how high we’re going to fly.


There’s a crew of behind-the-scenes geniuses who make our team meetings feel like primetime TV, and for our in-person event, they went full Hollywood. The year-end awards are called The Larrys—yes, really—and my teammate Annie Bair took home multiple trophies. Total rockstar.


Of course, not all of our time was spent in conference rooms. We were in Orlando, after all. 
One night they turned us loose for a partner-hosted pub crawl through Disney Springs—which is like Epcot for grownups, but with more cocktails and fewer screaming children. We drank, we mingled, and not once did anyone ask us to pose with a giant mouse. A magical evening indeed.


I enjoy events like these where I get to try foods way outside my usual comfort zone. I’m not typically a big fish guy, but when something this fresh shows up staring you down on a platter… you just roll with it and hope it doesn’t blink.


During our final session, we heard directly from Oracle founder Larry Ellison—on the same day he became the second richest person in the world, thanks to Oracle’s incredible earnings and the stock surge that followed. He told us, “Demand is astronomical… we’ve never seen anything like this.” It wasn’t just inspiring—this is one of those rare moments when you realize you’re part of something truly transformational.


Saturday’s fishing trip with Jen and Dan got sunk by the weather—too cold, too crappy—but we pivoted like pros and hit lunch instead. No fish were harmed, but some burgers didn’t make it. Always good to catch up, even if it’s with fries instead of lines.


Sunday was Father’s Day, so we celebrated with Grandma Linda and the kids over lunch at Benihana. The food was incredible, the gifts were thoughtful, and I’m still recovering from how full I got. Nothing better than being surrounded by family—unless it’s being surrounded by family and chicken fried rice. 

Happy Father’s Day to all you legends out there!


June 8, 2025

Betting the Belmont from Canterbury Park

 

Betting the Belmont from Canterbury Park

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for June 8, 2025


Thursday night bingo at Crooked Pint with the Walters crew. We didn’t win much, but with this group, you leave feeling richer—just not in the way that covers your bar tab.


We stopped by Avery and Abby’s on Saturday. Abby’s been healing from sinus surgery and Avery’s been earning Nurse of the Month. Great to see them both smiling—and not just because the meds finally kicked in.

Afterwards we made our way to Canterbury Park for the Belmont Stakes and some local races. There’s just something fun about watching giant animals sprint while grown adults scream at paper tickets like they’re stock portfolios.


Tried using ChatGPT for betting tips and crushed it—$34 on the Belmont and $39 on the first live race. Lost $20 on the third, or we’d probably be living at Canterbury by now and naming horses “Prompt Engineer.”


Caught this trio of trumpeter swans on the drive home—welcoming their new little note to the world. A baby trumpet, softly sounding the next movement in nature’s symphony.
@toddswank Bird isn’t impressed with your camera. #funnybirds #birdhouse #birdwatching #birds ♬ Singing Birds Sound - Tmsoft's White Noise Sleep Sounds
@toddswank Went to the track expecting a calm photo. The horse had… other plans. I’m not saying it was personal, but he definitely came in hot. #HorseChaos #KlingAI #AIvideo #GenerativeAI #OutOfControl #DerbyDrama #EquineEnergy #canterbury ♬ Old Town Road #2 - Lil Nas X

June 1, 2025

The Minnesota Ballpark Crawl

 


The Minnesota Ballpark Crawl
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for June 1, 2025


We spent one action-packed weekend bouncing between two of Minnesota’s finest ballparks—without watching a single pitch. It started Thursday night at Target Field, where Thrivent gave us a full tour, hot dogs, and the rare chance to stand on the field like we owned the place.


We’re not big baseball fans, but a behind-the-scenes Target Field tour sounded fun. I faked enthusiasm to the mascot like a pro—it’s all in the eyes and delivering a confident look like you’ve got season tickets and strong opinions about bullpen depth.


Some parts of the tour were surprisingly fascinating—like learning Target Field has nearly 15 miles of beer tubing pumping cold brews from massive keg rooms to fans across the stadium. 
It’s basically the ballpark’s circulatory system—with way more foam.


Since the Twins are in season, their locker room was off-limits—but we did get to tour the visitor’s digs. It had plenty of space, nice leather chairs, and just enough “you’re only here for three nights, don’t unpack” energy to keep it humbling.


We got to explore the press room, broadcast booths, dugouts, and even step onto the field—just not the grass. Apparently, that was a step too far. Seems a little fussy for turf that’s about to be spit on and stomped by 20 guys in cleats.


On Saturday, we kicked off summer the best way we know how—by hitting GrillFest at CHS Field with the Korkowskis. No baseball, just sunshine, endless samples, and enough booze and burgers to make us forget the field normally hosts professional athletes.


Back in the day, GrillFest used to teach you how to sear a steak without setting your deck on fire. Now it’s more like a pregame for a Jimmy Buffett concert. The grills are gone, the booze is flowing, and if you can operate tongs, you're probably overqualified.  It should probably be rebranded to BoozeFest.

Videos of the Week

@toddswank Nickeil Alexander-Walker with the 3! Assist from Antman. Let’s go Timberwolves! #wolvesin7 #minnesota #timberwolves #nba ♬ Bring Em Out - Instrumental - Instrumental Icons
@toddswank My friends aren’t big dancers so I used Kling AI to fix that! #klingai #partyrock #dance #grillfest #aivideo ♬ original sound - Todd Swank
@toddswank We had the opportunity to visit Target Field last night. Then a fireball came out of nowhere and exploded near second base. Great ballpark. Would absolutely visit again. #FireballFromTheSky #TargetField #BaseballChaos #AIvideo #KlingAI #GenerativeAI #TwinsBaseball ♬ SUPA GOOD!!! (from Dog Man) - Yung Gravy
@toddswank Last time it was a meteor. This time, a humpback whale breached so close I’m pretty sure I felt the splash. AI or not… I’m still drying off. #WhaleBreach #HumpbackWhale #OceanMoment #KlingAI #AIvideo #SplashZone #GenerativeAI #WildEncounters ♬ In USA - Glow City