August 2, 2026

Spending the Afternoon with Caitlin Clark

 


Spending the Afternoon with Caitlin Clark

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for August 2, 2026


Thursday night, Sue and Ron Korkowski finally joined us for a cruise around Prior Lake. We had planned it two weeks earlier, but smoke from the Minnesota and Canadian forest fires turned the sky into something that looked better suited for a dystopian movie than a boat ride. This time the air was clear, the lake was calm, and we were ready to cruise like four people who had personally defeated Canada.


We used to take friends boating to kneeboard, tube, and see who could injure themselves first. These days we cruise slowly, watch birds, and admire the beautiful homes along the lake. The strange part is, nobody ever seems to be outside. Maybe once your house gets that nice, you’re too busy working to spend much time there. 


We cruise around stalking egrets, blue herons, and cormorants, pretending each one is a rare discovery instead of a bird we’ve seen a thousand times. Loons and bald eagles are the real celebrities, but neither showed up that night. So we followed this cormorant around like wildlife paparazzi. We may have seen him a hundred times before, but on this particular evening, he was magnificent.

For years, I’ve steered past this concrete mystery at the entrance to Candy Cove without knowing what it was. I finally did something brilliant and asked ChatGPT. Turns out it’s the remains of the old Candy Cove Dam, built in 1942 to protect Prior Lake’s water level because the cove’s porous bottom was apparently leaking the lake underground. Eighty-four years later, I solved the mystery without leaving the boat. Technology has finally justified itself.


There was a time I’d never miss the chance to jump off the boat, float with friends, and enjoy nature’s most convenient restroom. Now I weigh that against hauling myself up the tiny ladder and driving home with a wet swimsuit welded to my crotch. This night, the dry crotch won. Miss Sheri and Sue jumped in and apparently had a blast, while I stayed aboard feeling old, comfortable, and completely justified.


Saturday brought us back to the St. Croix River for another afternoon of sun, drinks, and questionable decisions aboard the Zitzewitz boat. We packed in friends, family, and enough personalities to make every seat feel like its own little reality show. No real agenda beyond cruising, laughing, and proving once again that nearly everything is more fun when somebody else owns the boat.


We joined the Zitzewitzes on the river last Saturday too, but Avery and Abby already had plans and missed it. Karl and Tina were kind enough to invite us back again so the kids could join the fun. That meant another afternoon on the St. Croix, more floating, and absolutely no complaints from us about doing it again.


Best of all, Aaron joined us for the day. It had been years since we’d shared a day of sun and fun with him, and he’s actually the reason we met the Zitzewitz family nearly 20 years ago through Cub Scouts. The boys spent the afternoon reliving old scouting stories, including the weekend we crawled through Eagle Cave among stalagmites, stalactites, and live bats. Apparently childhood trauma becomes comedy once everyone survives it.


It was much windier than the weekend before, so floating became a full-contact sport. We spent most of the time clutching the rope while the current swung us around and shoved us into waves big enough to slap the relaxation right out of us. It felt like tubing behind the boat, except the boat was parked and nobody had signed a waiver. Good times, assuming your definition of fun includes fighting a river for custody of your inflatable.


I told Karl and Tina that Facebook had recently reminded me how many couple photos I took of them over the years, so naturally we needed an updated version. Somehow they’re even cuter now, which is annoying because most of us are just trying to keep our faces from sliding off. Apparently marriage works when you combine love, laughter, and a boat large enough to escape each other occasionally.


Sunday brought us to Target Center for a WNBA showdown between the hometown Minnesota Lynx and Indiana Fever. Minnesota had won nine straight, Indiana five, and both were among the league’s best teams, so we knew we were in for a great matchup.

The whole thing was Krazy Kory’s idea, but he had to back out a few days before the game, so Miss Sheri and I went without him. We ended up in the front row of the upper-deck corner, which I was pretty happy about considering Target Center looked nearly sold out and my official Lynx status is somewhere between “occasional customer” and “who let this guy in?”

 

Of course, one of the biggest draws was getting to watch Caitlin Clark play again. She’s been Miss Sheri’s favorite player since about her sophomore year at Iowa, partly because Caitlin is an Iowa girl and Miss Sheri grew up there playing basketball through high school. This was probably our fourth or fifth time seeing her in person, so at this point I’m surprised Caitlin doesn’t at least wave.

The Lynx were plenty of a draw on their own, entering the game with the WNBA’s best record and rookie Olivia Miles looking like anything but a rookie. She poured in 28 points, including 14 in the second quarter, and ran the offense with the confidence of someone who clearly skipped the part where first-year players are supposed to look nervous. Caitlin may have brought the crowd, but Olivia made sure everyone learned her name.


Sophie Cunningham has been another of our favorite players the past couple years, but she recently made some comments suggesting boys and girls should probably stick to their own teams, and that went over in Minnesota about as smoothly as wearing a Packers jersey to a Vikings tailgate. Lynx fans booed her every time she touched the ball, which felt less like basketball and more like 16,000 people leaving the same angry voicemail. We still like Sophie, but apparently her newest advanced statistic is boos per touch.


Caitlin and her friends played tough, erasing a 14-point fourth-quarter deficit and pulling within two before the Lynx finally slammed the door, 108-100. Clark finished with 19 points and 10 assists, while Olivia Miles scored 28 and Courtney Williams added 27 as Minnesota won its 10th straight. Great game, great crowd, and proof that spending an afternoon with Caitlin is fun even when she barely acknowledges we’re there.

July 26, 2026

Somewhere Between Boating and Loitering on the St. Croix River

 


Somewhere Between Boating and Loitering on the St. Croix River
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for July 26, 2026


We celebrated my 56th birthday on Sunday night at the Porterhouse in Lakeville. Getting older sucks, but at least it keeps giving me a legitimate excuse to eat steak and gather my favorite people on the planet around one table. I’ll gladly take the extra year when it comes with a night like this.


My actual birthday was Monday, and since we’ve been pretty active lately, I decided I wanted a quieter night. So Luke, Miss Sheri, and I went to play bingo at Mystic Lake Casino. Luke and I got free bingo packs for our birthday month, which sounded generous right up until none of us won squat. You’d think the birthday boy might get one pity victory, but Mystic has apparently decided character-building is cheaper than prize money.


On our family chat, my sister called me “Ernie” on my birthday, a name I hadn’t heard in a long time. It started in elementary school in Mason City when Mom bought me an Ernie football shirt. I cried because I thought it made me look like a baby and refused to wear it anywhere. Eventually I gave in, including at J4 Rollermania, where third-grade Todd was a roller-skating fiend. After that, kids and plenty of adults called me Ernie for years. My brother-in-law recreated the shirt, and it was disturbingly accurate. Thanks for the shirt, Mom, and for teaching me that if I’m going to look like a baby, then I need to own that shit.


Saturday brought us to the St. Croix River for a ride on our good friends Karl and Tina Zitzewitz’s boat. I thought the cloudy morning might keep things cooler, but apparently the clouds were just there to trap the humidity and turn the whole river into a sauna. Luckily, unlike most saunas, this one came with a giant body of water we could jump into whenever we started melting.


It was us, the Browns, and the Zitzewitzes with nothing major planned, which is usually when the best days happen. Just some fun in the sun, or at least the cloudy, humid version of it, along with good food, cold drinks, and even better conversation with people we genuinely enjoy. No agenda, no pressure, no reason to leave early. Just one of those simple days that quietly reminds you how lucky you are.


On the week I turned 56 years old, I was reminded that life gets better when you stop pretending every day needs to be productive. Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is find something strong enough to hold your weight, climb aboard, and float around with people who make you laugh. The river was warm, the drinks were cold, and nobody accomplished anything measurable. Moral of the story: aging may be unavoidable, but acting your age remains completely optional.


This guy was flipping around nearby and I thought it was pretty cool.  I grabbed the camera and caught this impressive video of him doing 9 backflips in a row.  I had Luke edit the video for me because that boy has a knack for it and in the past 24 hours it's had more than a half million views on TikTok. 
 
And that plus $5 will buy me a coffee at McDonalds!

@toddswank Spin me right round baby! #flip #jetski #spin ♬ sonido original - L o n e l i n e s s 1 9 9 3

July 19, 2026

Rocking Hard & Sweating Harder at the 2026 Yacht Club Music Festival

 

Rocking Hard & Sweating Harder 

at the 2026 Yacht Club Music Festival

Todd Swank's Diary Update for July 19, 2026


Monday night started the week with an adventure alongside some of the Oracle Minneapolis team and our friends at Apps Associates: an Al & Alma’s dinner cruise on Lake Minnetonka. I hadn’t been on one of their boats in probably 25 years, certainly not since the Vikings made them famous with the Love Boat scandal. Our trip was much more respectable, unless something happened after I went home that nobody has had the courage to tell me about.


Thursday night we were supposed to take Sue and Ron Korkowski for a boat ride, but we woke up under a thick blanket of smoke from the Canadian and Minnesota wildfires and briefly had some of the worst air on the planet. Naturally, it cleared up by the time we would’ve launched, but we’d already bailed and redirected to P.F. Chang’s in Maple Grove. Nothing says fearless outdoor adventure like gourmet Chinese in air conditioning.


Friday brought Miss Sheri and me to our second music festival in less than a week: the Minnesota Yacht Club Festival on Harriet Island in St. Paul. We probably wouldn’t have bought tickets had we known temperatures would hit the 90s with a heat index over 100. My concert hair hats usually turn my head into a tiny convection oven in normal temperatures, so this one had my skull baking like a Costco rotisserie chicken.


Despite the fancy name, Minnesota Yacht Club has very little to do with yachts and a whole lot to do with bringing arena-sized rock shows to Harriet Island. Launched in 2024 by C3 Presents, the team behind Lollapalooza, it expanded from two days to three after its first year. By 2026, its third summer, it featured 30 artists on two stages with no overlapping sets and about 35,000 people expected each night along the Mississippi River. Not bad for a club that never asked to see my boat.


We went with our good friends Joel and Jen, whom we hadn’t seen since their wedding in Destin, Florida. They’d attended Yacht Club the past couple of years, and after seeing their Facebook photos, Miss Sheri and I decided they were having entirely too much fun without us. So this year we crashed their party, because friendship is mostly about letting someone else discover the fun and then inviting yourself along.


We planted ourselves in the middle of the park so we could see both stages, although one definitely won the battle for better sound and sightlines. I didn’t recognize most of the bands or songs, so it felt like a full day of waiting for everyone’s one big hit. Then Marcy Playground played “Sex and Candy,” and I finally started grooving. At my age, that’s less a lifestyle than two separate things I’ve been forced to cut back on.


We lasted about five hours before the heat finally beat us and we bailed before the Lumineers. I was genuinely disappointed I didn’t get to yell “Ho! Hey!” with 30,000 sweaty strangers, but that regret disappeared the second we reached the car and the air conditioning hit us. Turns out my favorite headliner was a Kia Telluride set to 68 degrees.


Saturday night I took Miss Sheri downtown Minneapolis to the Orpheum for something wicked. Unfortunately for her, I meant the musical. Neither of us had seen the stage version before, although we’d both seen the movies, so I was ready for a little Glinda vs. Elphaba action. Nothing spices up date night like witches, betrayal, flying monkeys, and a couple thousand people silently judging which witch deserves the better song.


Once the curtain went up, it was easy to see how Wicked has attracted more than 70 million people, earned over $6 billion, and collected 100-plus awards across 16 countries. That isn’t a musical résumé; it’s a hostile takeover of theater. Between the massive sets, costumes, flying monkeys and powerhouse witches, the hype suddenly made perfect sense. Wicked really was wicked.


Quite honestly, I really liked it. Like most musicals, I would’ve preferred a little less singing and a little more dialogue, but the story was excellent. I grew up fascinated by The Wizard of Oz, and Wicked fits beautifully alongside it while giving everyone’s motives a clever new spin. Highly recommended for anyone who, like me, has a 14-year-old girl trapped inside just waiting to be inspired.

@toddswank 20 minutes until I get to see Wicked for the first time! #wicked #theater #emeraldcity ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

July 12, 2026

Rocking Like the ’80s Still Rule at the 2026 Lakefront Music Fest

 


Rocking Like the ’80s Still Rule at the 2026 Lakefront Music Fest

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for July 12, 2026


Our summer has been packed, and somehow even our nights off turn social. While wandering Costco, we ran into Randy and Cindy Schoen, who lived near my sister about 20 years ago. We’d lost touch, but they’re the kind of people who make it feel like no time has passed. A few minutes catching up in the spice aisle turned into one of those unexpected little reminders that good people never really feel far away.


It was Avery’s turn for a Mayo Clinic checkup. He only has to go every two or three years, but it’s always great seeing Dr. Johnson, the boys’ cardiologist and someone we’ve come to know well over the past decade. Avery’s checkup went well and he doesn't need to come back soon.  That’s exactly the kind of visit we like: catch up with a good man and say, “See you in a few years.”


Our rocking week of the ’80s started Wednesday night at Rhythm on the Rails in downtown Shakopee, a free summer concert series with live music, food, drinks, games, and a street full of people enjoying the night. Def Leggend brought the Def Leppard hits, and for a few hours Lewis Street felt less like Shakopee and more like 1987 with better beer options.


Tom and Kellie Wolf are usually our Rhythm on the Rails partners. We share the same taste in classic rock and the same desire to sit off to the side so the speakers don’t finish off whatever hearing we have left. We always have a great time together, even if getting Tom to actually look at the camera remains one of Shakopee’s tougher summer challenges.


Thursday night, the Browns and Zitzewitzes joined us for a three-hour tour on the boat. Unlike Gilligan, we made it back before three hours turned into a syndicated television series. I also prefer being off the lake before sunset because I’m not entirely sure the boat lights still work. I could check them, of course, but that sounds suspiciously like effort.


The highlight of the week was Rock Night at Prior Lake’s Lakefront Music Fest. The weekend brings in some huge names, but we stick to Friday because country music has never really been our thing. We used to fight our way to the front of the stage, but now they charge extra for the pit and our ears have filed enough formal complaints for one lifetime.


We love running into old friends at Lakefront Music Fest, including Jimi Gilbertson and his sister Trish. Jimi is a big shot with the Prior Lake Rotary Club and gets to guard the VIP section, where $320 buys you perks like shade. That sounded excessive until 95-degree heat and direct sunlight spent several hours turning my forehead into a solar panel. One of these years, I may finally invest.


I think the last time we saw Lisa Maldonado was at this same concert last year. She’s one of those genuinely sweet people who always asks about the boys and makes you feel like no time has passed. She also gave Miss Sheri about five hugs while I got one, which felt a little uneven, but apparently Sheri had the premium friendship package.

Ted and Marcia found us in the crowd and settled in for the show. We occasionally wandered closer to the stage, partly for the music and partly because standing in a packed crowd was somehow our best available shade. Whenever we returned to our chairs, we enjoyed catching up with them, which made the night even better.


Jefferson Starship opened the night by taking us through their own musical family tree, from Jefferson Airplane to Jefferson Starship to Starship. They closed with “We Built This City,” but “White Rabbit” was the song I was waiting for. More than 50 years later, it’s still wonderfully psychedelic and remains one of my all-time favorites.


George Thorogood was next, and “I Drink Alone” has long been one of my favorite karaoke songs because his raspy growl is about as close as my voice gets to a natural fit. I can’t really sing, but I can fake irritated confidence pretty well. It’s the rare song where throat damage actually improves the performance.


Billy Idol closed the night, and for a while it felt like high school had come roaring back, only now everyone had reading glasses and sore knees. He tore through hit after hit, and I kept thinking about how perfectly he played himself in The Wedding Singer, still one of my favorite movie cameos. We left early and missed “Rebel Yell” and “White Wedding,” but beating that massive crowd on the mile walk back to the car and getting home to my bed was absolutely worth sacrificing a little rock-and-roll history.

@toddswank The only thing I look forward to about fall. 😂🦟 #Mosquitoes #Comedy #Relatable ♬ SILENT PATROL - AYUMI Hollow

July 5, 2026

250 Years Later, Still Chasing Life, Liberty, and Lake Time

 

250 Years Later, Still Chasing Life, Liberty, and Lake Time

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for July 5, 2026


We kicked off a full week of celebrating 250 years of freedom at Midwest Ribfest at Mystic Lake Casino, headlined by the man still making us wonder why Jessie had to be so selfish with his girl. Rick Springfield shocked the crowd by announcing he was 76, then proceeded to look and perform like he had found a backstage loophole in the aging process. Classic songs, loud guitars, and smoked meat. Not a bad way to start America’s birthday week!


Even better than the concert was randomly bumping into our old friends Joe and Jill Fischer. We caught up, laughed, and rocked out while Rick Springfield ripped through classics like “I’ve Done Everything for You” and “Don’t Talk to Strangers,” which is solid advice unless the strangers turn out to be old friends.


On Friday, Tracy and Dave came to town for the holiday weekend. Dave is known for hilarious T-shirts, and this one got plenty of attention at the Prior Lake Farmers Market. A few people looked shocked, like wiener jokes don’t belong between sweet corn and cucumbers. Please. This is America.


After picking Tracy and Dave up at the airport, we headed over to Luke’s new house so they could see it for the first time. They gave it the official family approval tour, which mostly means walking around, saying “this is really nice,” and pretending we all suddenly know things about countertops.


From there we headed to Avery and Abby’s, where they were kind enough to serve us an amazing lunch. Avery grilled up some terrific burgers while Abby supplied all the great sides. I’m assuming Avery learned those grill skills in college or on YouTube, because there is no evidence that kind of knowledge came from my genetic line.


We spent the afternoon cruising Prior Lake on my boat, despite a forecast that had been threatening rain all weekend like it was trying to ruin our plans personally. Instead, the weather turned gorgeous. Sometimes luck is just the universe briefly forgetting to mess with you.

Friday night we ate at our favorite restaurant on Prior Lake, Charlie’s on Prior. To be fair, it’s also the only restaurant on Prior Lake, but that just means they’ve really nailed their market share. Good food, great view, and the kind of place that makes you feel like summer is doing its job.


Dave asked the waitress what was popular, and I immediately told him he couldn’t visit Minnesota without trying the walleye. This was bold advice from a man who may have never actually ordered it himself. Dave said he liked it, but I spent the rest of the meal wondering if I had just committed a small act of culinary fraud.


After dinner at Charlie’s, I thought it would be fun to make 9:00 reservations at the Boardwalk in Shakopee so we could sit and watch Canterbury’s fireworks. Great plan, until we got there and I immediately felt guilty for our waitress since we weren’t ordering full meals. I panic-ordered a couple desserts nobody really ate because everyone was still full. The fireworks were amazing though, so I still think we made the right call.


We celebrated the 4th the best way possible: a full day on Prior Lake swimming, boating, and watching the annual boat parade. We had planned to end the night with fireworks at Mystic Lake, but the rain we had dodged all weekend finally found us and the show was canceled. After 250 years of freedom, Mother Nature still apparently has veto power.


On Sunday, we spent time with Grandma Linda, starting with brunch at Ze’s Diner. After a weekend of boats, fireworks, and patriotic chaos, this was the part that actually mattered: three generations around a table, laughing, telling stories, and proving that freedom is pretty great when nobody has to cook. Two hundred fifty years in, freedom still tastes better with bacon.
@toddswank LeBron to the Timberwolves would be a perfect fit! #lebron #nba #minnesota #timberwolves ♬ Dramatic Tension - Litne