Oracle FY27 Sales Kickoff: Fired Up in Las Vegas
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for June 14, 2026
Oracle FY27 Sales Kickoff: Fired Up in Las Vegas
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for June 14, 2026
The Venetian was our home base for the week, which sounds glamorous until you realize we basically turned it into a very fancy corporate ant farm. Oracle somehow moved 4,500 of us through meetings, meals, security, and caffeine refueling stations without the whole thing collapsing into chaos. Honestly, watching them feed that many salespeople in a two-hour window may have been the most impressive infrastructure demo of the week. And yes, the bomb-sniffing dogs were everywhere, which is reassuring right up until you start wondering what they know that you don’t.
Some of you may remember I’m missing a front tooth, although you haven’t seen much evidence of that here because I had a temporary tooth in a retainer that looked real enough for photos. While we were eating, I wrapped it in a napkin like I’ve done plenty of times before, only this time a gust of wind picked up the napkin, launched my temporary tooth into Clear Lake, and sent it straight to whatever underwater kingdom keeps sunglasses, boat keys, and bad decisions.
Jason was incredibly kind and actually waded around trying to find it for me, but the bottom was rocky and the lake had clearly already claimed its prize. I really appreciated him trying. I’ll get another one, but the timing is spectacularly terrible because tomorrow morning I fly to Vegas to spend a week with 4,000 Oracle coworkers for meetings, dinners, and professional schmoozing. On the bright side, I’ve looked different my entire life, so I guess this is just another chapter in that book. Either that, or I’ll be joining Jason Alexander in retirement a little sooner than expected.

Welcome to Summer. Bring a Hoodie.
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for May 25, 2026
@toddswank A friend asked me how come nobody ever sees Dinosaur Ghosts? #dinosaur #ghost ♬ Olympo Rave - Kobe Mane & SoyFlowers
@toddswank The challenge said randomly pick a photo from your phone to see what sound TikTok adds to it. #cats #boats #creatorsearchinsights ♬ original sound - duc
Witnessing the End of the 2026 Timberwolves
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for May 17, 2026
And now we were sitting close enough to watch our favorite player, Anthony Edwards, go toe-to-toe with Wemby, the most fascinating phenomenon in basketball, from just a few feet away. Every dunk, block, stare-down, and possible playoff meltdown was suddenly happening right in front of us. What kind of absolute chaos were we about to witness?
@toddswank This kid might be really really good!. He’s by himself doing wind sprints an hour before Round 2 Game 6 against the Wolves. #wemby #spurs #wolves #nbaplayoff ♬ original sound - thu nguyen
@toddswank Let’s Go Wolves! Game 6 Round 2 2026 NBA Playoffs. #timberwolves #spurs #nbaplayoffs ♬ original sound - Todd Swank