Oracle FY27 Sales Kickoff: Fired Up in Las Vegas

 

Oracle FY27 Sales Kickoff: Fired Up in Las Vegas

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for June 14, 2026

I flew into Las Vegas Monday morning and flew home Friday, and this picture is about as much of the Strip as I saw all week. Normally Vegas offers temptation, bad decisions, and stories you probably shouldn’t publish on the internet. This time I was there with 4,500 Oracle coworkers getting fired up for FY27, talking AI data centers, and behaving like a responsible adult. Which is really disappointing for my brand.

The Venetian was our home base for the week, which sounds glamorous until you realize we basically turned it into a very fancy corporate ant farm. Oracle somehow moved 4,500 of us through meetings, meals, security, and caffeine refueling stations without the whole thing collapsing into chaos. Honestly, watching them feed that many salespeople in a two-hour window may have been the most impressive infrastructure demo of the week. And yes, the bomb-sniffing dogs were everywhere, which is reassuring right up until you start wondering what they know that you don’t.

You may remember from last week’s post, A Beautiful Day to Quit Golf, that I lost my temporary tooth, flipper, and retainer in Clear Lake two days before this trip. I couldn’t get a replacement in time, and my emergency Shark Tank-style TempTooth science project went about as well as you’d expect. I even thought about skipping Vegas, but then I reminded myself I’ve looked different my entire life. This wasn’t the hand I wanted, but I’ve been dealt this hand before. So I decided to own it, smile anyway, and not let one missing tooth stop me from doing what I love most: talking to strangers who didn’t ask for it.

The first night I had dinner with several of my recent teammates. At Oracle, every June feels a little like corporate musical chairs, except the music stops and suddenly you have a new manager, a new team, a new product focus, and three fresh acronyms you’re expected to care deeply about. Honestly, it’s not a bad thing. You get exposed to new styles, new ideas, and new ways of doing the job. Plus, changing managers every year keeps you sharp. Mainly because by the time you figure out what one of them wants, congratulations, here comes another one.

We had dinner at WAKUDA inside The Venetian, and the sushi was incredible. But honestly, I spent half the meal staring at the art on the walls. It had this erotic modern punk thing going on, like the first time I saw The Matrix and realized movies could be cool, confusing, and slightly dangerous all at once. I didn’t totally understand what any of it meant, but I knew it was working on me. The whole place felt like Tokyo, Las Vegas, and a tattoo parlor got together and made excellent sushi. That’s how they get you hooked before the bill arrives and commits a second-degree felony against your wallet.

People always ask why I love Las Vegas so much, and the answer is simple: it’s Disney World for adults. There is no other place on earth where you can walk through a fake Italian shopping mall inside a fake Venetian hotel, stumble past a full Wizard of Oz display promoting a show at a giant Sphere, and have every single part of that feel completely normal. Nobody here is pretending to be something they’re not, which is ironic because everything here is pretending to be something it’s not. That’s the magic of Vegas, and I fall for it every single time.

Tuesday morning the FY27 Sales Kickoff officially kicked off, and that’s Mark Hura, Oracle’s President of Global Field Operations, on stage. Mark has a way of making 4,500 salespeople feel like they’re part of something bigger than a quota, which is harder than it sounds. The FY26 numbers were record-breaking across the board, but honestly, what got me wasn’t the revenue figures. It was the AI story. Oracle is building data center infrastructure at a scale most people can’t picture, powering technology that’s going to change how doctors treat patients, how drugs get developed, and how the world actually works. I know AI makes a lot of people nervous. I get it. But sitting in that room, I walked away genuinely excited about the future. Not the scary sci-fi version. The one where people actually get helped.

Tuesday morning the FY27 Sales Kickoff moved from Vegas spectacle to full-on business mode, and this was my first time seeing Oracle CEO Mike Sicilia speak in person. He laid out a vision for an AI-enabled future that felt less like corporate hype and more like the ground shifting under every industry at once. On the earnings call, he talked about customers moving past AI experiments and into real enterprise solutions that improve productivity, service, and competitive advantage. That’s the part that gets me fired up. Not the doom-scrolling version of AI where everyone argues with strangers for sport, but the version where we solve harder problems, move faster, and build things that actually help people. He said the world will look very different three years from now. I believed him.

Tuesday night was the awards ceremony for the North America OCI organization, called The Larrys in honor of Oracle founder Larry Ellison. They do a really nice job turning it into our version of the Oscars, with presenters, nominees, big production value, and plenty of people dressed like they’re one acceptance speech away from thanking their agent. I’ve never been cool enough to be nominated for one of these awards, which I’m totally fine with because I also haven’t been cool enough to own a tuxedo. So really, the system is working.

We had around 120 partners in attendance too, which meant the happy hour invitations started piling up fast. I actually had to turn down several of them, which is wildly out of character for me and frankly not the kind of personal growth I signed up for. I did make it to a few, though, and they were a blast. There’s something energizing about being in a room full of smart people, good conversations, and appetizers you only eat because they’re on tiny plates and therefore legally don’t count.

I also got to spend more time with my new teammates, including Chris in the middle and my new boss, Michael. We were both more than happy to accept the free cowboy hat swag, because I am nothing if not easily bribed by accessories. I honestly can’t remember ever wearing a cowboy hat before, but now that I’ve seen the evidence, I think I pull it off. If this whole thing ever falls apart, I may ride into a dusty border town, clean up corruption, win the respect of the locals, and still be home by dinner because my horse has sleep apnea.

Just like that, it was the final day. Four and a half days, 4,500 people, more sessions, hallway conversations, and tiny appetizers than I can fully account for, and somehow I walked out the other side genuinely fired up. Navigating an event this size is its own endurance sport, but the energy in that room never really dropped. One Team. One Goal. No Limits. Easy to put on a slide, harder to actually feel, but by the end of the week I felt it. We still had one more session to go though, and let’s just say the closing speaker made staying in my seat an easy decision.

The week ended with Oracle founder Larry Ellison speaking to us, which was pretty incredible. I’ve always viewed him as one of the top technology visionaries of all time, so hearing him talk about Oracle’s future and the AI-enabled world ahead was a great way to close things out. At one point he was asked if he owned a Tesla Optimus robot yet. He said no, but he did have one from Unitree, then casually predicted that within five years we may see more humanoid robots walking around than actual humans. The part that hit me was when he said finger dexterity is still one of the hardest problems to solve. The base robot might cost around $16,000, but the one with really good hands is more than $50,000. As a guy who has spent his entire life navigating a world built for hands that work better than mine, I found that oddly validating. Apparently functional fingers are the premium upgrade. Tell me something I don’t know.

Kissing Goodbye to the 2025 Minnesota Vikings

 

Kissing Goodbye to the 2025 Minnesota Vikings

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for January 11, 2026

Last Sunday we made it to the Vikings–Packers finale, usually one of the hottest tickets in town, just not this year. The Vikings were already eliminated, the Packers were resting everyone with a pulse, and the playoff drama had officially left the building. We weren’t chasing hope, just maybe a little clarity on whether J.J. McCarthy is our quarterback of the future… or just another chapter in the ongoing Minnesota experiment.

I love going to games with my best girl, Miss Sheri. We’ve been Vikings fans together for 34 years, and there’s still nobody I’d rather suffer with on a Sunday afternoon. She’s sweet, loyal, and occasionally so vocal when things go sideways that I find myself quietly apologizing to the parents of nearby small children. Wouldn’t change a thing.

One genuinely cool moment was watching Justin Jefferson quietly make history. He hit 1,000 yards again, his sixth straight season, which only two other humans in NFL history have ever pulled off. Casual greatness, no drama, just doing impossible things while we all pretend we’re not spoiled having him on this team.

This was the J.J. McCarthy taunting play, which honestly was nice to see. A little edge, a little fire, a reminder he’s not just out there politely getting hit. Still a big question mark if he’s our guy next year, and an even bigger one if he can stay healthy, but there were flashes that made you pause. Vikings win it 16–3, and once again we head into the offseason doing what we do best… convincing ourselves that next year will definitely be the one.

On Tuesday I hopped a plane to Denver for three nights and three meetings, kicking off the new year on a high note. Three great customer conversations, a little thin air, and me out there proudly representing Oracle Cloud Infrastructure in the Mile High City.

This image is AI, but it’s pretty close to what I ran into that night. I left the hotel for dinner in a city I don’t know, and a couple miles in my phone suddenly died. That’s when I realized my charging cable was still back in the room. You don’t realize how dependent you are on your phone, especially for maps, until it’s gone. I went searching for a gas station, took a wrong turn in a construction zone, and ended up face-to-face with a concrete barrier, plus a couple cars that followed me in. I waved everyone backward, reset, and went looking for help… wondering how this all went sideways so fast.

Jeff and Jeff are two of our cloud engineering leaders, and they’re the secret weapon when it comes to convincing CIOs we’re the best AI cloud infrastructure out there. When you can back big claims with deep technical chops and real answers, the conversation changes fast, and I’m lucky to have guys like this in my corner.

This is pretty much my job in a nutshell: earn the meeting, make the case for why Oracle Cloud Infrastructure is the best out there, then say thank you over a really good meal. I get to talk tech, build real relationships, and spend time with smart people who don’t owe me anything. No wonder I’m gaining weight, but honestly, I’m grateful this is how I get to spend my days.

Oracle FY26 Kickoff: What Happens in Orlando…

 

Oracle FY26 Kickoff: What Happens in Orlando…

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for June 15, 2025

Monday morning I woke up and flew to Orlando for four nights in the blazing Florida heat. It was the start of a packed week of meetings, nonstop networking, and figuring out where the heck I was supposed to be next. As usual, the flight in hit heavy turbulence—something about Florida air just wants to shake you up. I used a Navy SEAL breathing trick I learned from ChatGPT to keep my cool. Didn’t cry. Much.

Monday night started our FY26 Oracle NACI Sales kickoff event with dinner and laughs alongside my manager and teammates. It was our first big in-person gathering since Covid—and with more than 2,000 people in attendance, this ended up being the only time I saw most of my team all week. Still, it was a great way to kick off the chaos.

More than 2,000 of us from NACI—North America Cloud Infrastructure—packed into Orlando as Oracle dropped its FY25 results. Cloud Infrastructure hit $3.0B in Q4 alone, up 52% YoY. Leadership was fired up, and the message was clear: great job… now go out and top it.

We all roll up to Mark Hura, EVP of North America Cloud Infrastructure—and frankly, it's hard not to get fired up when you hear him speak. With AI driving record demand for OCI, and leadership that’s both sharp and grounded, it feels like we’re sitting in the eye of the perfect tech storm… in the best way possible.

Eventually, we split into org breakouts. My team rolls up to Chris Gandolfo, EVP of North America OCI & AI Sales. He’s been at the center of Oracle’s biggest AI infrastructure wins. It’s genuinely exciting to be on this ride—feels like the rocket just cleared the launchpad and no one really knows how high we’re going to fly.

There’s a crew of behind-the-scenes geniuses who make our team meetings feel like primetime TV, and for our in-person event, they went full Hollywood. The year-end awards are called The Larrys—yes, really—and my teammate Annie Bair took home multiple trophies. Total rockstar.

Of course, not all of our time was spent in conference rooms. We were in Orlando, after all. One night they turned us loose for a partner-hosted pub crawl through Disney Springs—which is like Epcot for grownups, but with more cocktails and fewer screaming children. We drank, we mingled, and not once did anyone ask us to pose with a giant mouse. A magical evening indeed.

I enjoy events like these where I get to try foods way outside my usual comfort zone. I’m not typically a big fish guy, but when something this fresh shows up staring you down on a platter… you just roll with it and hope it doesn’t blink.

During our final session, we heard directly from Oracle founder Larry Ellison—on the same day he became the second richest person in the world, thanks to Oracle’s incredible earnings and the stock surge that followed. He told us, “Demand is astronomical… we’ve never seen anything like this.” It wasn’t just inspiring—this is one of those rare moments when you realize you’re part of something truly transformational.

Saturday’s fishing trip with Jen and Dan got sunk by the weather—too cold, too crappy—but we pivoted like pros and hit lunch instead. No fish were harmed, but some burgers didn’t make it. Always good to catch up, even if it’s with fries instead of lines.

Sunday was Father’s Day, so we celebrated with Grandma Linda and the kids over lunch at Benihana. The food was incredible, the gifts were thoughtful, and I’m still recovering from how full I got. Nothing better than being surrounded by family—unless it’s being surrounded by family and chicken fried rice. 

Happy Father’s Day to all you legends out there!

Perform Like Nobody’s Watching (For Fish)

 

Perform Like Nobody’s Watching (For Fish)

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 9, 2025

 I started the week in Baltimore for a couple of customer visits, which conveniently placed me right on the harbor—because if I’m going to talk business, I’d rather do it near seafood. Normally, I’d be out on my usual critter hunt, scanning the docks for anything with a pulse, but the only thing I spotted was my own reflection in a window, questioning my life choices. Between the cold and the lack of local wildlife, I mostly stuck to eating sushi and staring at boats I don’t own, which, if I’m being honest, is still a pretty solid way to spend a trip.

Funny how life works—back in college, I swore up and down that I’d never go into sales. Fast forward 30 years, and here I am, traveling to interesting places, meeting fascinating people, and convincing them why Oracle is the best choice. Turns out, I didn’t avoid sales—I just found a way to make it my entire personality.

This is the view from my customer’s office, and honestly, if I had to go into an office every day, this wouldn’t be a bad way to suffer. I’ve been working from home since before it was mandatory, and while I’ve mastered the art of taking meetings in pajama pants, I have to admit—staring at boats instead of my own reflection in a dark screen has some appeal. Still, let’s be real, I’d probably just end up daydreaming about owning one of those yachts instead of actually working, so maybe it’s best I stay in my home office where the only distractions are my own bad decisions.

I was supposed to go to the Timberwolves-76ers game with Avery, but this work trip popped up, so I handed my ticket to Miss Sheri—who then proceeded to see the Wolves win without me. Figures. While they were enjoying the game, I was in a Baltimore hotel, tucking myself in at an embarrassingly early hour because I had a 2 AM wake-up call to catch my flight home. So instead of watching Naz Reid dominate in the fourth, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, contemplating my life choices—like why I ever thought this schedule was a good idea.

I thought I was being a genius, booking a flight that would get me home by 7 AM so I could roll right into a productive workday—because nothing says sharp decision-making like zero sleep and airline coffee. What I didn’t plan for was Minneapolis deciding to welcome me back with one of the worst blizzards of the year. The turbulence was a thrill ride nobody signed up for, the flight attendants strapped in like we were going down with the ship, and we landed in total whiteout conditions only to sit on the runway for over an hour because our gate was blocked by a plane that couldn't take off because of the weather. By the time I got home, I was less focused on work and more focused on never flying again—until, of course, the next trip I book.

After surviving a brutal wake-up call, a turbulence-filled flight, and an hour-long runway hostage situation, I was finally rewarded with a car buried under a fresh layer of Minnesota misery. Since it was 50 degrees when I left, I figured parking outside was no big deal—because apparently, I learn nothing. At least I had an ice scraper, but when the wind chill is trying to kill you, that’s like bringing a spoon to a sword fight. One of these years, I’m moving south—right after I regain feeling in my hands.

Miss Sheri and I checked out the Minnesota Zoo’s brand-new sea lion show, which was short but packed with enough cuteness to make you forget for a second that these animals are basically aquatic gym bros doing tricks for snacks. The trainers claim they’re “gregarious,” which is a nice way of saying they have zero shame about working the crowd for fish. Honestly, it was fun, but for how much effort these sea lions put into the performance, I feel like they should at least get some steak.

I’ve been going to the Minnesota Zoo for decades, and Discovery Bay used to be the crown jewel with its dolphin show—until it turned into an absolute heartbreak factory. One after another, the dolphins faced tragic fates, from mysterious illnesses to freak accidents, until the zoo finally shut the whole thing down in 2012. For years, the once-thriving tank just sat there, a ghost town of what used to be. Now, they’ve brought in sea lions, and I’ve got to say—they know how to put on a show. Slick moves, big personalities, and a solid reminder that sometimes, the encore is just as good as the original act.

Since our zoo membership is about to expire, we figured we’d take one last stroll before letting it lapse—because nothing says "money well spent" like paying to watch animals sleep. Most of our favorites, like the bears, were still deep in hibernation, but we did stumble across these shaggy, long-haired boars that I’m pretty sure just wandered out of a 1970s folk festival. I don’t know if they’re new or if I’ve just been walking past them all these years, but either way, it’s good to know that if I ever need a backup plan, growing out my hair and living off the land is still an option.

@toddswank The new Sea Lion show at Discovery Bay at the Minnesota Zoo. #sealion #discoverybay #minnesotazoo ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

The Leaves are Brown and the Sky is Gray

 

The Leaves are Brown and the Sky is Gray

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for October 20, 2024

I spent most of the week in Chicago for a conference called Utility Analytics Week. While a couple of my customers were there learning about grid reliability, outage prevention, and all the tech to make utilities run smoother, I was there with a different mission: understanding what makes these customers tick. I wanted to dig deeper into their focus areas, network like crazy, and build some new relationships. It was mostly meetings and presentations at the conference center, but I managed to escape to the Loop for dinner and take in some of Chicago’s iconic architecture. Fun fact: The Loop got its name from the elevated train tracks that circle downtown, and “Windy City” isn’t about the breeze—it's a nod to the city’s long-winded politicians.

There were about 15 Oracle folks at the conference, but I spent most of my time with my teammate Jitesh. We’ve been collaborating on a few key accounts, but this was our first time meeting face-to-face. Safe to say, we hit it off quickly. Jitesh is based in the area, so he took me out to a couple of his go-to spots for dinner—definitely a perk to having a local connection. Most of the day was packed with sessions and meetings, but the evenings out made the work trip feel a lot more like a real adventure.

We bumped into a genuine movie star one of the nights—John David Washington, the son of Denzel Washington, who was in town for the premiere of The Piano Lesson, coming to Netflix soon. I recognized him and his voice instantly because I’m a fan of his work, including Ballers, BlacKkKlansman, and The Creator. We ended up facing each other the whole time at dinner, and I even worked up the nerve to shout out that I’m a huge fan. He graciously thanked me, and now, I’m convinced we share a special bond—one that he may or may not be aware of.

After three nights away, it was good to be back in Minnesota, even if it meant trading conference rooms for Grandma Linda in the backseat. We headed over to Avery and Abby’s place for dinner and some college football—because nothing says “family bonding” like yelling at the TV together. And sure, I wasn’t on my own couch, but I’d take their place over another hotel room any day. Plus, watching football with them? Way more entertaining than those conference sessions.

On Sunday, Luke and I headed to U.S. Bank Stadium, ready for a showdown between our undefeated Vikings and the 4-1 Lions. This game had all the makings of a classic NFC North clash—two strong teams with a lot to prove. The Lions have been a serious contender these last couple of seasons, making us a little nervous, but the Vikings have been absolutely rolling this year. It’s always a bit of a thrill to watch a game with stakes this high, and we were hopeful that the home-field advantage would make all the difference.

The game started off with a lot of promise for the Vikings, jumping out to a 10-0 lead after a 34-yard touchdown run from Aaron Jones and a 57-yard field goal from Will Reichard. But then Sam Darnold threw an interception, and it was like flipping a switch. Suddenly, the momentum shifted, and Detroit’s offense caught fire. They put up 21 unanswered points before halftime, including a 45-yard touchdown run from Jahmyr Gibbs, who seemed to glide right through the Vikings' defense. By the end of the second quarter, it felt like we went from cruising to chaos, and the Vikings found themselves in unfamiliar territory—playing catch-up.

The Vikings stormed back in the second half, with a clutch touchdown by Justin Jefferson and a defensive score that actually put them back in the lead late in the fourth quarter. But Detroit's offense wasn’t having it. Jared Goff led a clinical march down the field, setting up a game-winning field goal that sealed the deal. It was a tough loss, but hey, you can't win 'em all. Maybe dropping one now will give them the edge to bounce back Thursday night in LA against the Rams. Here’s hoping for a quick turnaround—because nobody likes a losing streak!

@toddswank Sam Darnold throws TD pass to Justin Jefferson! #vikings #skol ♬ Let's Go - JAXSON GAMBLE