Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts

May 31, 2026

The Week We Remembered Outside Exists

The Week We Remembered Outside Exists
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for May 31, 2026


Work kept me pretty pinned down this week. By Friday night, we were ready to break loose a little, so we met up with Abby and Avery, helped them knock out an errand, and grabbed dinner on the patio at Charlie’s on Prior Lake. They all went with chicken tinga bowls while I ordered the two-meat platter, because apparently I treat dinner like I’m stocking up before a blizzard. Good food, good conversation, and one of those simple family nights that doesn’t sound like much until you realize it was exactly what you needed.


Minnesota finally warmed up, so Miss Sheri and I decided it was time to start walking again before our bodies officially reclassified us as furniture. I can make it about two miles without passing out, and we managed to do that three times this week. The first two were in our neighborhood, so Saturday we got ambitious and hit the Jensen Lake Trailhead at Lebanon Hills. Nothing says rugged wilderness like a beautiful lake covered in lily pads, where nature looks peaceful while quietly judging your cardio.


Luke joined us for the hike, so we picked something a little closer to his place in Apple Valley. I always end up walking faster when he’s with us, which annoys me because my preferred pace is “still technically moving.” Luke acts like there’s a finish line somewhere, while I’m just trying to enjoy nature and keep all major organs functioning. Still, it was good to see the boy, even if his casual walking speed feels like a personal attack.


You know us. We’re always keeping an eye out for interesting critters to harass by forcing them into unpaid photo sessions. Luke started the adventure by spotting a good-sized garter snake, but by the time I caught up, it had already disappeared under a log like it owed me money. We saw some turtles too, but around here turtles are basically the neighborhood committee. The real stars were these white ducks, who had clearly been sleeping until we showed up and ruined their spa day. They opened their eyes just long enough to confirm we were annoying, then we snapped the picture and let them get back to pretending humans don’t exist.


Saturday night, Miss Sheri and I had tickets to see David Spade at Mystic Lake Casino. I’m not sure I’d call myself a David Spade superfan, but I’ve followed him forever through SNL and classics like Tommy Boy. The only recent stuff I’ve seen is TikTok clips from the podcast he does with Dana Carvey, which mostly looks like two comedy legends trying to figure out why the internet is mad today. Either way, Spade is part of the Adam Sandler crew, and those guys have been turning dumb, immature comedy into gold for decades. They’re basically proof that stupid comedy works when everyone involved is way smarter than they’re pretending to be.


I’m a sucker for any venue that lets you upload a photo to the big screen, because apparently my ego needs stadium seating. When ours popped up, I liked to imagine the whole audience thinking, “Todd Swank? What’s he doing here? I’d like to hang out with that guy.” Then I took a picture of the picture, which is either deeply narcissistic or just good documentation. Probably both. But way down deep, isn’t that what we all want? To be loved, remembered, and briefly displayed above a casino crowd before David Spade comes out.


I’d love to say the comedy was amazing, but honestly, it was just OK. The two openers got a few laughs, but mostly felt like they were there to remind us David Spade was coming. Spade was definitely the pro. He’s lived an interesting life, so even just hearing him talk about SNL, movies, and Hollywood weirdness was entertaining. But the set did feel a little phoned in. He opened by ripping on guys in the front row for wearing shorts like they had just mowed the lawn, which was funny, but also bold coming from a man dressed like he wandered in from a gas station run during cabin weekend. Still, much respect for the guy. I just wish it felt like he wanted to give this crowd a show they couldn’t have gotten anywhere else.

April 26, 2026

Testing How Much Life We Can Fit Into a Week Before We Break

 


Testing How Much Life We Can Fit Into a Week Before We Break
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for April 26, 2026


We’ve been on a bit of a run lately, the kind where you keep saying yes and don’t really stop to ask if that’s a good idea until your body starts negotiating with you. It kicked off with Thunderstruck at Shakopee Bowl, which felt ambitious considering we were already tired going in, but apparently all it takes is Back in Black and Highway to Hell to convince you you’re still 25. For a couple hours we were fully committed, singing, headbanging, and making excellent life choices… right up until the next morning when every joint in my body filed a formal complaint and reminded me this whole “let’s see how much we can fit into a week” thing might have consequences.


Eric really surprised me on this one. It was his idea to get everyone out to the show, and then he went full front row like he was trying to earn a spot in the band. I used to be that guy, so I worked my way up there for a few songs to relive it. For a minute it felt right… then it got real loud, real fast. Eric never moved. I bailed like someone who’s learned this lesson before, ears ringing. I’ve officially become the guy who complains about volume instead of screaming for more.


We caught up with Portia and Doc at The Pointe, which somehow always happens right after April 15th… when accountants rejoin society and start returning texts again. Portia just got done surviving tax season, sorting through everyone else’s financial chaos, including ours, so this felt like her victory lap. Always good to see them, compare notes on how much damage was done, and remind ourselves that I’m sure the government will put all that money to absolutely fantastic use.


Thursday night Luke and Avery joined us at the NFL Draft party at US Bank Stadium, which for us mostly means finding out which player got assigned the very important job of meeting the public. This year it was Levi Drake Rodriguez, and honestly, he couldn’t have been cooler about it. You always wonder if these guys are thinking “how did I get this assignment,” but he was all smiles, taking pictures, chatting it up like he actually wanted to be there. Meanwhile we’re standing there like proud Vikings fans already convincing ourselves this seventh-round pick might secretly be the steal of the 2024 draft.


I told Aaron Jones I thought he was a classy guy, and I actually had receipts. Two years ago at this same draft party, we stood in a long line, missed him by about 30 seconds, and just as we were finishing our sad little backup photos, he came over, jumped in, and grabbed a quick selfie with us on my phone. Didn’t have to do it, but he did. When I reminded him, he smiled like he remembered… or at least like I wasn’t completely making it up. Either way, I’m pretty sure we’re building something here.


Walking out of the draft and somehow ran into Amanda and William, who we had just spent a few days with in Florida. Either we’re getting around more than we realize, or this is the start of one of those “we keep running into the same people everywhere” situations.


A couple months ago Abby asked if we wanted to drive to Des Moines to see her favorite comedian, Nate Bargatze, and because she’s awesome and we love her, the answer was obviously yes before I thought through any of the details. Fast forward to a 7-hour round trip and seats in the very top row, and I’m halfway up those stairs completely out of breath, starting to wonder if I should be monitoring my heart rate instead of finding my seat. Abby was fired up the whole time, which made it worth it, and honestly the show delivered. Nate was great, the four comedians before him were hilarious, and once I got settled in and stopped questioning my life choices, it turned into one of those nights you’re really glad you didn’t overthink.


Nate Bargatze is on an absolute heater right now, and after seeing him live, I get it. I mostly knew him from SNL, especially those George Washington sketches, which are some of my all-time favorites. The way he breaks down the stupidity of our weights and measures system like “how many yards are in a mile… nobody knows” shouldn’t be that funny, but it absolutely kills me. The Big Dumb Eyes tour is selling out everywhere, and it makes sense. He just stands there, barely moves, and somehow has an entire arena locked in laughing at stuff we all know is ridiculous but never really think about.


Being in the area naturally meant a stop to see Krazy Kory, which included supper at Boulder Tap House and a trip out to his place in the country. Always good to catch up with Kory, and the kids loved seeing the farmhouse setup, wide open space, fresh air, the whole deal. He’s even got his own garden going, which is impressive, because our version of a green thumb is successfully keeping grass alive most of the time.


Saturday night was Game 4 at Target Center between the Timberwolves and Denver Nuggets. The Wolves have been playing so well we showed up ready to howl like it was part of our job description. The place was electric. We leaned all the way in, yelling, clapping, fully convinced our energy was making a difference… like the Wolves were just waiting on us to show up so they could finally play their best.


Jokić is the guy we all love to boo, which is funny because it’s mostly just our way of not admitting he might be the best player on the planet. Gobert’s been doing a great job making life tough on him, and we’ve got our own stars with Ant and DiVincenzo stepping up. At this point we were feeling pretty good about things… which, in true Minnesota fashion, usually means something’s about to go sideways.


And just like that, everything flipped. DiVincenzo goes down a couple minutes in and has to be helped off, and you could feel the air leave the building. Then Ant landed wrong and gets helped off too, and suddenly everyone’s doing that quiet “this doesn’t look good” math. One minute we’re talking about a third straight trip to the Western Conference Finals… the next we’re wondering if that just got a whole lot tougher.


And then the crazy part… they didn’t fold. With Ant and Donte out, the Wolves just kept coming. Rudy and Jaden stepped up, and Ayo completely took over, dropping 43 off the bench like it was nothing. The place went from nervous to losing its mind. I don’t know how this ends, but this might be the deepest Minnesota team we’ve ever had, and nights like this make you believe anything’s possible. 

Let’s go Wolves!!!

@toddswank Already fired up for Saturday at Target Center. If they hand these out, I’m camping at the door. #Timberwolves #NBAPlayoffs #TargetCenter #Bobblehead ♬ som original - F3rnand0
@toddswank 10 years later and Prince still sounds more alive than half the stuff on the charts. Legends don’t fade out. They just get louder in memory. Purple forever. #Prince #PurpleRain #MusicLegend #GoneButNeverForgotten ♬ Purple Rain - Prince & The Revolution
@toddswank Mystic Lake Amphitheater looks to be mostly complete and ready to open in June 2026. Are you ready to rock? #mysticlake #amphitheater #concerts #shakopee ♬ son original - ELNOSMILE

March 15, 2026

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Grill

 

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Grill

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 15, 2026


This was taken down at Target Center during the Timberwolves Select-A-Seat event, which is basically where fans walk around the arena pretending they’re calm, rational adults while deciding how much more money they’d like to emotionally invest in a basketball team. The Wolves had just ripped off a five-game win streak and climbed all the way to the 3rd seed in the West… and then immediately started playing like absolute garbage and lost four of the last five. So naturally Miss Sheri and I decided it was the perfect moment to reinvest in season tickets for next year. Minnesota sports logic at its finest.


Grandma Linda is getting settled into rehab and had a good week, including getting her hip surgery scheduled for the end of April. We’re still not sure if insurance will let her stay there until then or if she’ll have to go home for a while, but in the meantime PT and OT are clearly working. She’s already figured out how to zip around the place in that wheelchair like it’s an F1 car, which is both impressive and slightly concerning for the rest of the hallway traffic.


Thursday night brought us to Hop House Brewery at Mystic Lake Casino to meet up with Miss Sheri’s cousin Mary and her husband Michael. Even though we all live in the Twin Cities, somehow these get-togethers don’t happen nearly as often as they should. Thankfully a couple beers and a table full of stories fixes that pretty quickly. Great catching up with them and remembering why we always say we need to do this more often… right before another six months slips by.


Friday night we drove down to Rochester to see Bert Kreischer. I’d never actually seen his stand-up before, but I did enjoy his Netflix show Free Bert and knew he was the comedian who takes his shirt off for some reason. I’m still not entirely sure why that’s part of the act, but apparently thousands of people are perfectly happy paying money to watch a grown man take his shirt off and start telling stories. Honestly, the more I think about it… that’s a move a lot of guys I know would try for free.


This was actually Luke’s Christmas gift to us. He bought tickets for us to see John Mulaney in Minneapolis, but that show got postponed after the ICE riots shut half the city down. So like any modern Christmas present, it slowly evolved into something different. You start with tickets to a sharply dressed comedian who’s openly battled cocaine addiction… and somehow end up at a show where the headliner takes his shirt off & starts telling drinking stories. Christmas gifts can be weird like that.


Bert put on a great show. A lot of his stories revolve around his legendary drinking days, but he mentioned he’s not drinking right now while dealing with some health issues. That part actually hit a little close to home for me since technically I’m a couple years older than him and have my own collection of health challenges these days.  It’s a weird moment when the shirtless party guy on stage starts talking about health and you find yourself nodding along.


Our week ended with dinner and games with our good friends Karl and Tina Zitzewitz. We’d originally planned to go out, but changed plans when we heard about the massive blizzard heading our way. For once the weather people actually got it right and Prior Lake picked up about 14 inches of snow in the past 24 hours. Just when we thought it was finally safe to start thinking about getting the lawnmower ready again.
@toddswank A few years ago I would’ve heard Python, Linux, and Ubuntu and thought, “Yeah… that’s for somebody smarter than me.” Now I’m building my own little AI lab and learning this stuff in public with ChatGPT as my trusted advisor. If I can do it, you can too. #AI #LearnAI #TechTok #SwankVentures ♬ Background music for training at a strength and bodybuilding gym - Lounge Vibes

January 3, 2026

If This Is How 2025 Ends, 2026 Is in Trouble

 


If This Is How 2025 Ends, 2026 Is in Trouble

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for January 3, 2026


We’ve been busy. Like scrolling-through-your-camera-roll-asking-when-did-that-happen busy. The kind of busy where the holidays blur together and you’re not totally sure what day it is, but you’re very confident you didn’t sit still. So before I forget half of it, here’s how the final stretch of 2025 kicked off. This was Christmas Eve morning, starting the day early at church with Avery, Abby, and Luke to pause, reset, and remember the actual reason for the season… before immediately sprinting back into everything else that made the last two weeks feel like a highlight reel.


After church we went to lunch with Grandma Linda and then back to our place to open presents. Christmas without little kids around isn’t quite as magical. It’s calmer, quieter, and nobody’s tearing into wrapping paper like it’s a full-contact sport. Still great, just different. And yes, there was some quiet speculation about how many more Christmases it might stay this way, which is how I found myself silently rooting for the universe to do us a solid and let Miss Sheri get pregnant again.


This was our first Christmas with Avery and Abby as a married couple, so naturally we were thrilled to open a brand-new family wedding photo. Nothing says “welcome to the wall” like a professionally framed reminder that the day actually happened, everyone looked great, and we somehow pulled it all off. It’s equal parts sentimental, permanent, and proof that this whole marriage thing is officially real now.


Luke thought he had absolutely nailed Christmas. Knowing Avery is a former Minnesota Golden Gopher, he bought him a Max Brosmer Vikings jersey, fully convinced he was ahead of the curve. Brosmer, another ex-Gopher, had been signed as an undrafted free agent last offseason and was quietly hyped as the potential secret weapon when things started going sideways for J.J. McCarthy. Unfortunately, when Brosmer finally got his shot, it somehow went even worse. Much worse. By then the jersey was already locked in, so now we’re all rooting for a future redemption arc, because Luke made a bold call, and honestly, that confidence alone still counts as a win.


Ironically, Christmas Day brought us to U.S. Bank Stadium to watch the Vikings take on the Lions, with Max Brosmer starting again after J.J. McCarthy fractured his hand, which felt very on-brand for his season at this point. The good news was it barely mattered. The defense absolutely dismantled Detroit, forcing six turnovers and piling up five sacks while turning the game into a full-on holiday beatdown. Brosmer mostly focused on surviving, the offense did just enough, and the defense handled the rest, making the 23–10 win one of those rare Vikings games that was far more fun than stressful.


The real highlight of the day was the halftime show. Seeing Snoop Dogg take over U.S. Bank Stadium on Christmas felt surreal. I grew up on N.W.A. and Dr. Dre, so Snoop has been in steady rotation for basically my entire life, yet somehow this was the first time I’d ever seen him live. Watching him own an NFL stadium with that same effortless calm, decades deep into his career, was equal parts nostalgia and respect. Not flashy. Not forced. Just Snoop doing what Snoop does. Honestly, it felt like a Christmas miracle… FO shizzle.


The gifts kept giving when we were told we could go down on the field after the game. That excitement lasted right up until we learned that meant hanging around for another 45 minutes while the stadium slowly emptied. And once we finally got down there, it turned out to be exactly what you’d expect: a very large field, a lot of people wandering around, and absolutely no sign of Snoop Dogg, KOC, or Justin Jefferson anywhere. Still, credit where it’s due… the Christmas tree was pretty solid.


Luke was ready to get out of town, so we headed to Chicago for three nights to see what kind of trouble we could responsibly get into. We stayed in River North, which means everything is either a great restaurant, a questionable decision, or both. We did our homework, argued about deep dish like it mattered, dodged the L, and walked around pretending we knew where we were going. Just enough big-city chaos, neon, and winter grit to make it a perfect escape.


We were very intentional about our sightseeing choices. Classic architecture, great lighting, neutral territory. We made a point to avoid taking photos anywhere that could be considered even remotely controversial. Just a calm, drama free appreciation of the surroundings before moving along.


Saturday kicked off at the Museum of Science and Industry, which I loved as a kid and somehow love even more now. The Blue Paradox exhibit pulled me in immediately, massive curved screens, deep blue light, and an immersive setup that makes you forget where the floor ends and the wall begins. It’s beautiful and unsettling in equal measure, laying out the ocean plastic problem without shouting, just calmly making you sit with it. Naturally, we left feeling deeply reflective… and then pondered all of it while drinking a bottled water.


Also loved the space exhibits, especially the new SpaceX Dragon on display. Standing next to a flight-proven spacecraft that’s been to the ISS twice is one of those moments that quietly blows your mind. SpaceX has done more to move space exploration forward in a ridiculously short amount of time than just about anyone… which made it mildly fascinating that the exhibit focuses entirely on the machine, the missions, and the science, with absolutely no mention or photo of the guy who started the whole thing. Curious choice. Probably nothing to read into there.


One of our favorite things to do with Luke is catch live comedy, so a stop at Zanies Comedy Club felt overdue. Turns out we picked a good one. Zanies has been a Chicago comedy institution since the late ’70s and has hosted just about everyone before they were famous or right after they were unavoidable. Think proving-ground energy, low ceilings, tight room, nowhere to hide. We caught the Santa Spectacular, which was basically a lineup of sharp comics treating the holidays with the appropriate level of respect, which is none at all. Loud laughs, packed room, two-drink minimum doing its part, and that perfect feeling of walking out lighter than you walked in. Exactly what a comedy club is supposed to do.


We woke up Sunday and decided to give the Field Museum a shot. I’ll admit it, I went in a little skeptical, fully expecting a tasteful warehouse of stuffed animals frozen in eternal mid-pounce. Turns out I was very wrong. The Field is one of the world’s premier natural history museums, home to Sue, the largest and most complete T. rex ever discovered, plus jaw-dropping exhibits on ancient civilizations, evolution, gemstones, and creatures that absolutely did not sign up to be that terrifying. Somewhere between a 67-million-year-old dinosaur and artifacts pulled from every corner of the planet, I gained a whole new respect for the place. Still some stuffed animals, sure, but now backed by science, history, and enough awe to keep me quiet for at least ten minutes.


I’ve always been fascinated by sharks, so the idea of a megalodon is just absurd in the best way. Seeing these jaws in person really puts things in perspective, mostly that nature once built something whose mouth alone could qualify as a studio apartment. Staring at the sheer size of this thing is the kind of experience that should probably come with a warning label and a therapist on standby. That said, I’m still pretty confident I could take him. Not in the water, obviously. And not alive. Or moving. But conceptually? I like my chances.


We hit a lot of fun bars and restaurants on this trip, but I think we all agreed the Asian fusion buffet at TAO Chicago quietly ran away with the title. TAO is known for doing everything big, dramatic, and just a little over the top, and the food absolutely backed it up. I went in with a loose plan and immediately abandoned it in favor of oysters, sushi, prime rib, shrimp, desserts that deserved their own lighting, and several items I ate confidently without knowing what they were. The room alone feels like you accidentally wandered into a movie set, and by the end we were all full, impressed, and pretending we hadn’t already calculated how long it would take to walk off even a fraction of what we just ate.


We capped off the weekend with a visit to The Second City, which is basically a comedy factory that accidentally keeps producing legends. This is where people like Bill Murray, Tina Fey, and Steve Carell learned how to be funny. We saw The Best of the Second City: Celebrating 65 Years, which is exactly what it sounds like. A tight mix of sketch comedy, improv, and perfectly timed chaos that reminds you why this place matters. Smart, fast, and just reckless enough to feel alive. We walked out laughing, impressed, and quietly confident that if any of us had stuck around Chicago long enough, fame was probably inevitable.


After a whirlwind of travel, we capped off the year with an incredible opportunity to celebrate New Year’s Eve in Chaska at Mason and Lizzie Korkowski’s wedding. There’s something hard to beat about ringing in a new year surrounded by people who are clearly doing life right, dressed up, smiling big, and pulling off a night that felt equal parts elegant, joyful, and effortlessly fun. A beautiful couple, a perfect way to close out the year, and a pretty strong reminder that this is exactly how you want to welcome whatever comes next.


We already love any excuse to hang out with the Korkowski family, but spending New Year’s Eve with their extended clan was next level. Great people, lots of laughs, and an open bar that stayed open long enough to make everyone just a little more interesting and a lot more generous with compliments. Pure coincidence, I’m sure.


The next morning Miss Sheri informed me that I apparently told Ron he looked very handsome. More than once. In my defense, the guy cleans up extremely well and I was just being observational. Purely complimentary. Totally normal. Nothing to unpack here.


2025 definitely gave us a mixed bag of lessons, laughs, and a few head-scratching moments, but this New Year feels like the universe is quietly clearing its throat before doing something big. Call it optimism, intuition, or just leftover confidence from a night that involved questionable hats and good people, but 2026 feels loaded with possibility. Wishing you all a year full of momentum, wins you didn’t see coming, and at least one moment where you stop and think, “Yeah… this is working.”

@toddswank Snoop’s Halftime Holiday Show at US Bank Stadium. Christmas Day. 2025. #snoopdogg #christmas #minnesota #vikings #halftimeshow ♬ original sound - Todd Swank
@toddswank Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! #christmas #newyear #happiness #positivity #goals ♬ Whispers of Christmas - ViralMusic
@toddswank Steel built a region! #steel #chicago #industry ♬ original sound - Todd Swank