Showing posts with label Trails. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trails. Show all posts

June 28, 2026

The One Where the Swanks Took on Olympic National Park

 

The One Where the Swanks Took on Olympic National Park

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for June 28, 2026


Our family vacation started at the northern edge of Washington, exploring Olympic National Park, tucked into the most northwestern corner of the contiguous United States. We kicked things off at Hurricane Ridge, where the views were incredible, the family looked great, and I immediately began calculating how many scenic overlooks a middle-aged man can survive before requesting a chairlift. It was the perfect start to six days of mountains, ocean, rain forests, waterfalls, and me pretending I was physically prepared for any of it.

I’m thankful the boys still join us for these adventures, because there’s something pretty special about standing together on Hurricane Ridge with Olympic National Park behind us and the Strait of Juan de Fuca stretching out in the distance. Normally on a Monday I’m sitting at my desk staring at an unreasonable number of computer screens, pretending that’s a healthy way to experience the world. This was better. Mountains, ocean, sunshine, and family all in one place. Not a bad upgrade from spreadsheets, status updates, and whatever fresh nonsense was waiting in my inbox.


There was a lot more hiking on this vacation than I expected. Somehow “family trip to a national park” quietly turned into “four to five miles a day, enjoy your new lifestyle.” I struggled with it more than I wanted to admit, but Luke was absolutely built for it. He and Miss Sheri even climbed all the way to the top of Sunset Point while I made a strong early campaign, assessed my aging infrastructure, and wisely withdrew before the summit. It’s tough getting old, but it’s pretty awesome watching your kids pass you like you’re standing still.


While trying to catch up with Luke and Sheri, I stopped on the trail to rest when three deer suddenly walked right up near me. They didn’t seem scared at all, probably because in a national park humans are less “predator” and more “slow-moving camera holders.” I stood there snapping pictures while they calmly passed by, pretending it was a spiritual moment and not just proof I had finally moved slow enough for wildlife to trust me.

We also spotted this large marmot not far off the path, basically looking like a fat beaver who had retired from dam work and moved into mountain real estate. He seemed just as curious about us as we were about him, although he never stopped eating grass long enough to make it feel personal. He’d look up, chew, judge us briefly, then go right back to lunch. Honestly, I respect that kind of focus.


We had another great deer encounter on the drive up the mountain when this mama and her baby were hanging out on the side of the road. You’d think with an entire national park available, they could find a safer place than “next to moving vehicles,” but apparently they also understand tourism. We were just glad they made themselves available for our viewing pleasure before returning to their busy schedule of being adorable and wildly unconcerned.


Mountains in the morning, ocean in the afternoon. That’s a pretty solid day. We went whale watching on the Strait of Juan de Fuca expecting orcas, but the humpbacks apparently didn’t get that memo. For four hours they were popping up in every direction like the world’s largest game of Whack-a-Mole. Our naturalist said she counted at least 35 different whales, although a few of them were clearly attention whales who just kept coming back for more stage time. It was an absolutely whale of a day.


Day two brought us to Lake Crescent, a glacier-carved lake with water so blue and clear it almost looks fake. The blue is ridiculous because the lake has very few nutrients, which means not much algae grows in it, so the water stays crazy clear. It’s more than 600 feet deep, which is comforting if you enjoy standing near beautiful things that could easily hide a submarine. Lake Crescent is also home to its own unique trout, because apparently even the fish here needed to be more interesting than the rest of us. The whole place feels calm, clean, and slightly unfair to every other lake trying to compete.


Olympic National Park is pretty isolated, which is beautiful right up until you realize nature has not installed enough businesses to service our every whim. Thankfully, we found a nice resort on Lake Crescent that was happy to let us wander around and enjoy the amenities like civilized people pretending we belonged there. We were tempted to rent kayaks, but ultimately decided against it, which I fully supported. My legs had already filed a formal complaint for the week, and I didn’t need to start lying to myself that my arms were ready to become above-average employees.


After enjoying Lake Crescent, we had seen enough water just sitting there, so we went looking for some water with ambition. That led us to the hike toward Marymere Falls, because nothing says vacation like leaving a perfectly beautiful lake to go watch part of it throw itself down a mountain. The trail was gorgeous, winding through giant trees, mossy rocks, little bridges, and the kind of forest that makes you understand why people suddenly start using words like “peaceful” without irony.


Marymere Falls is one of the most popular hikes near Lake Crescent, mostly because it’s less than a mile each way and leads through old-growth forest to a 90-foot waterfall. The trail crosses Barnes Creek and Falls Creek before the final climb, which is where the brochure’s definition of “easy” and my definition of “why are we still going up?” had a brief disagreement. I’ll admit, I was a little underwhelmed at first and mildly annoyed that the waterfall made me climb a steep incline to earn the view. But I do like falling water, and once we got there, it was hard to stay mad at a mountain for doing something pretty.


After lunch we decided the only logical next step was to go find another waterfall, because that’s what brothers do. Some families throw a football around. Ours apparently hikes into the forest to admire water with commitment.


Sol Duc Falls was one of the cooler stops in Olympic National Park. The trail winds through old-growth forest before the water drops about 50 feet into a narrow canyon, which is beautiful in the way nature gets when it wants to impress you and remind you it can still win. I watched several people climb way too close to the edge, which made me nervous and sent my brain into the healthy vacation question of, “How often do people actually go over?” Then I remembered I was on a family vacation and probably shouldn’t spend too much time mentally producing a National Park disaster documentary. Great waterfall, though.


On day three, we got up early and made the drive to the Hoh Rain Forest, which is basically what happens when trees stop trimming their moss and fully commit to the lifestyle. The whole place feels prehistoric, magical, and just damp enough that you understand why the Twilight vampires were always brooding nearby. We had been tipped off to arrive early, so for once we listened to vacation advice instead of assuming we knew better. Smart move. When we left, there was a huge line of cars waiting to get in, which gave us that rare and beautiful feeling of being the people who planned correctly.


I did the Hall of Mosses Trail, but skipped the Spruce Trail because apparently my body has very strong opinions about how many enchanted forest walks should happen in one day. I do regret missing this giant tree stump, because it looks incredible and exactly like the kind of thing I would have pretended to fully understand while taking 47 pictures of it. But while they were out discovering ancient forest magic, I was back at the visitor center enjoying a bench, which honestly had a lot going for it. It was sturdy, quiet, and most importantly, not another trail.


The boys are lucky they have at least one parent who can keep up with them. Miss Sheri has always been pretty rugged, the kind of person you’d want nearby if you got lost in a rain forest. She’d stay calm, find the trail, ration the snacks, and somehow make it feel like a team-building exercise. I, on the other hand, would be waving down the first bear I saw like, “Good news, I’m slow and emotionally ready.


When we got back to the Sol Duc Falls parking lot, we ran into this Steller’s jay hanging around like he owned the place. I thought he looked beautiful, so naturally I chased him around with my camera like a completely normal adult man who had already spent the day photographing water, trees, and suspiciously confident wildlife. He finally gave me a decent pose, probably out of pity. Not a bad way to end a waterfall hike.


After the rain forest, we drove to Ruby Beach to see the sea stacks and tide pools. We even planned around low tide, because apparently we are now the kind of people who coordinate vacation activities with the moon. The sea stacks were incredible, and we did our best climbing around the rocks to find whatever tide pools we could reach without needing a rescue team. It was a very cool place to explore, although calling it a “beach” in June felt a little generous. In my mind, beaches come with sunshine, warmth, and a strong chance of complaining about sand. Ruby Beach came with sweatshirts, ocean wind, and the Pacific Northwest reminding us not to get too comfortable.


Ruby Beach looks less like a normal beach and more like a lumberyard lost a fight with the Pacific Ocean. All that driftwood gets carried down from the forests by rivers, then the tides and storms shove it back on shore in giant piles like the ocean is redecorating. It gives the whole place this wild, rugged feel you don’t get at beaches where the biggest hazard is someone’s Bluetooth speaker. It’s beautiful, a little chaotic, and a good reminder that when the ocean is done with a tree, it just throws it on shore like, “You deal with this.”


Miss Sheri asked me to pose for a classic “Shortarmguy Shot” on the beach, because apparently every scenic location needs at least one photo of me throwing my arms in the air like I just discovered tourism. I was thrilled when Abby suddenly jumped into the shot with me. She’s been a Swank for less than a year, but moments like this make me think she’s really starting to fit in with the family. Either that, or she’s already learned that when we embarrass ourselves, we prefer to do it together.


On Thursday we took the ferry from Port Angeles to Victoria, British Columbia, which gave us the exciting chance to use our passports and briefly feel like international travelers. There’s something fun about crossing water into another country, even if my dreams of struggling through a foreign language were immediately crushed when everyone spoke English. Still, Victoria was beautiful, the harbor was impressive, and for a few hours we got to pretend we were much more worldly than we actually are.


We stopped for lunch at The Flying Otter on the harbor, because when you’re visiting Canada near the water, fish and chips feels less like a choice and more like a civic duty. The food was good, the view was better, and the whole place had that nice vacation-lunch feeling where nobody is in a hurry and everyone pretends fried food is part of the cultural experience.


On our way out of town, we stopped at Olympic Game Farm in Sequim, which turned out to be way more fun than expected. Llamas, elk, zebras, bears, and other critters came right up to the car, and several grizzlies were separated from us by what felt like a couple of very optimistic fences. They sold special animal bread for $5 a loaf, so naturally we started with two and ended up going through six, because apparently our family’s wildlife strategy is handing carbs to anything with hooves and hoping the bears respect boundaries.


The employee told us nothing would bite, which was comforting right up until a buffalo shoved half his head through the window like he had a dinner reservation in our car. They were powerful, pushy, and completely shameless about using those giant tongues to retrieve every last piece of bread. I’m not saying things got inappropriate, but after feeding one of these guys, I felt I needed a cigarette and a quiet moment to myself.

@toddswank Olympic Game Farm in Sequim, Washington lets you feed bread to grizzly bears! #bears #grizzlies #brownbear #sequim ♬ original sound - Martin dutch
@toddswank Incredible experience in Port Angeles, Washington watching humpback whales! #humpback #whales #portangeles #pugetsound ♬ Imperial Orchestra Pirates of the Caribbean - Imperial Orchestra
@toddswank Whale watching on the Puget Sound Express in Port Angeles, Washington gave us this incredible experience! #humpback #whale #portangeles ♬ original sound - Todd Swank
@toddswank Grandma Linda heard this song and, completely out of the blue, announced, “I want you to play this at my funeral.” 😳 Nothing like casually dropping your final playlist request in the middle of the afternoon. Guess I better write it down before she changes it to something by Pitbull. #whatsup #grandma #funeralsong ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

May 31, 2026

The Week We Remembered Outside Exists

The Week We Remembered Outside Exists
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for May 31, 2026


Work kept me pretty pinned down this week. By Friday night, we were ready to break loose a little, so we met up with Abby and Avery, helped them knock out an errand, and grabbed dinner on the patio at Charlie’s on Prior Lake. They all went with chicken tinga bowls while I ordered the two-meat platter, because apparently I treat dinner like I’m stocking up before a blizzard. Good food, good conversation, and one of those simple family nights that doesn’t sound like much until you realize it was exactly what you needed.


Minnesota finally warmed up, so Miss Sheri and I decided it was time to start walking again before our bodies officially reclassified us as furniture. I can make it about two miles without passing out, and we managed to do that three times this week. The first two were in our neighborhood, so Saturday we got ambitious and hit the Jensen Lake Trailhead at Lebanon Hills. Nothing says rugged wilderness like a beautiful lake covered in lily pads, where nature looks peaceful while quietly judging your cardio.


Luke joined us for the hike, so we picked something a little closer to his place in Apple Valley. I always end up walking faster when he’s with us, which annoys me because my preferred pace is “still technically moving.” Luke acts like there’s a finish line somewhere, while I’m just trying to enjoy nature and keep all major organs functioning. Still, it was good to see the boy, even if his casual walking speed feels like a personal attack.


You know us. We’re always keeping an eye out for interesting critters to harass by forcing them into unpaid photo sessions. Luke started the adventure by spotting a good-sized garter snake, but by the time I caught up, it had already disappeared under a log like it owed me money. We saw some turtles too, but around here turtles are basically the neighborhood committee. The real stars were these white ducks, who had clearly been sleeping until we showed up and ruined their spa day. They opened their eyes just long enough to confirm we were annoying, then we snapped the picture and let them get back to pretending humans don’t exist.


Saturday night, Miss Sheri and I had tickets to see David Spade at Mystic Lake Casino. I’m not sure I’d call myself a David Spade superfan, but I’ve followed him forever through SNL and classics like Tommy Boy. The only recent stuff I’ve seen is TikTok clips from the podcast he does with Dana Carvey, which mostly looks like two comedy legends trying to figure out why the internet is mad today. Either way, Spade is part of the Adam Sandler crew, and those guys have been turning dumb, immature comedy into gold for decades. They’re basically proof that stupid comedy works when everyone involved is way smarter than they’re pretending to be.


I’m a sucker for any venue that lets you upload a photo to the big screen, because apparently my ego needs stadium seating. When ours popped up, I liked to imagine the whole audience thinking, “Todd Swank? What’s he doing here? I’d like to hang out with that guy.” Then I took a picture of the picture, which is either deeply narcissistic or just good documentation. Probably both. But way down deep, isn’t that what we all want? To be loved, remembered, and briefly displayed above a casino crowd before David Spade comes out.


I’d love to say the comedy was amazing, but honestly, it was just OK. The two openers got a few laughs, but mostly felt like they were there to remind us David Spade was coming. Spade was definitely the pro. He’s lived an interesting life, so even just hearing him talk about SNL, movies, and Hollywood weirdness was entertaining. But the set did feel a little phoned in. He opened by ripping on guys in the front row for wearing shorts like they had just mowed the lawn, which was funny, but also bold coming from a man dressed like he wandered in from a gas station run during cabin weekend. Still, much respect for the guy. I just wish it felt like he wanted to give this crowd a show they couldn’t have gotten anywhere else.

April 13, 2025

Trekking the 9 Mile Creek Trail Boardwalk

 

Trekking the 9 Mile Creek Trail Boardwalk

Todd Swank's Diary Update for April 13, 2025


We’ve been following our beloved Timberwolves all season, and somehow—despite the occasional fourth-quarter meltdown and our franchise history screaming “not again”—they’re heading into the playoffs with actual expectations. Anthony Edwards looks like he was built in a lab to shut people up, and Rudy Gobert is still dominating. I took this photo a couple weeks ago. With one game left, we’re either locking in a solid seed or free-falling into the play-in tournament, where Minnesota sports dreams traditionally go to die. But hey, this year feels different. Which is exactly what I say every year, right before crying into my Wolves sweatshirt.


We stopped by to visit Grandma Linda on Tuesday night. She’s been dealing with some medical stuff lately and has a new procedure lined up next month, so yeah—it’s a little stressful seeing someone you love having to battle through that. But true to form, she still has her spark, her sass, and that warm presence that somehow makes everyone else feel okay, even when she’s the one going through it. She keeps pushing forward like the tough little fighter she is. If you’ve got a moment, please send some prayers or good vibes her way. She's earned 'em.


Wednesday night I met up with my Oracle colleague Steve Domingo for dinner at Crave in the Mall of America. Steve’s from Atlanta and had never seen the MOA before, so walking him through a four-story mall with a full-blown amusement park in the middle was like giving someone the deluxe tour of capitalism. We had some great sushi, shared a few laughs, and talked shop just enough to justify it as a work dinner. Always fun showing off a Minnesota landmark that isn’t covered in ice or shaped like a fish.


Thursday night we got together with the kids for dinner at Northern Taphouse in Lakeville—one of our favorite ways to spend an evening. We’d met up earlier for tuxedo fittings for Avery and Abby’s wedding, which is definitely sneaking up on us. Great food, even better company, and no one was pretending they’re too busy to answer group texts. And yes—the wings delivered.


Trekking the 9 Mile Creek Trail boardwalk might sound intense, but don’t let the name fool you—we clocked in at a proud 1.5 miles, and I felt every glorious step. This was our official return to semi-active living, and Blue was thrilled to be back on patrol, sniffing everything like the trail owed him money. The ice is finally gone, the mud’s only ankle-deep, and for a brief moment, it actually felt like spring in Minnesota. Until it doesn’t again. But hey—moment seized.


Back during COVID, we got into the habit of exploring trails around the Twin Cities—our version of adventure when the world shut down. It turned out to be one of the few bright spots from that whole bizarre stretch of life, and we’ve been meaning to get back into it now that spring is sort of showing up again. The boardwalks are my favorite part—gliding over the marsh like seasoned hikers while safely protected from Minnesota’s deadliest wildlife: frogs and turtles.


One of our favorite parts of hiking is bird watching—we're always on the lookout for something rare or unexpected. So imagine our shock when we spotted the incredibly elusive mallard... again. Peeking out from his not-at-all-hidden hideout like he’s part of some secret duck surveillance program. Majestic, common, and somehow always acting like we’re the ones intruding.


A little farther down the trail, we spotted another duck—this one standing proudly on what I think was a muskrat lodge. I’m no wildlife biologist, but I’m pretty sure ducks and muskrats have a symbiotic relationship: the duck stands guard while the muskrat sleeps, and in return, the muskrat agrees not to comment on how often the duck poops on his roof.


On the way home, we made a quick detour to check out Bird Island—one of our favorite boat spots during the summer. It was absolutely packed, and not in the “spring break vacation” kind of way… more like a feathery Tinder convention. The birds were clearly gearing up for the next generation, doing whatever awkward courtship rituals are required to keep the circle of life awkwardly flapping forward. Nature’s beautiful, chaotic, and apparently very much in the mood.


It’s always an impressive lineup—egrets, cormorants, and blue herons all packed into the same scraggly island like some weird bird version of a condo association. We always wonder how they pick their nests. Do they get the same one as last year? Do some get annoyed that their spot faces the inside trees while others scored waterfront views? And you have to wonder—do they cluster by species out of preference, or is Bird Island quietly hosting nature’s most passive-aggressive segregation policy? Either way, it’s clear not every bird is thrilled with their neighbor.


My brain spits out random ideas like a malfunctioning popcorn machine.
Most are gone before I finish my coffee.
But this one?
It stuck around long enough to build a fake headquarters using AI.
Swank Ventures isn’t real (yet).
But AI makes it so easy to take a silly idea and turn it into something that looks like a million-dollar dream.
Sometimes I chase the dream.
Sometimes I just enjoy seeing what could be.
Either way, it keeps me inspired.



February 9, 2025

Exploring Minnesota's Superior North Shore

 


Exploring Minnesota's Superior North Shore 

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for February 9, 2025


Monday night, we put on our finest hairnets and went full assembly-line mode at Feed My Starving Children, scooping rice and sealing bags like we were prepping for the apocalypse. The goal? Pack meals for kids who actually need them. It’s a simple process: show up, measure stuff, try not to spill, and pretend you’re a professional humanitarian for 2 hours. By the end, we had boxed up enough food to make a real difference, and more importantly, we learned that nothing humbles you faster than getting absolutely outclassed at scooping soy by a high school girl who wasn’t even trying.


For two hours, we scooped food into bags like we were factory workers with zero breaks.  Just when we thought we were done, some volunteer would swoop in and refill the bins like a sadistic game of Whac-A-Mole. By the end, my arm felt like I had spent the night arm-wrestling a grizzly bear, but the soreness came with a side of pride.  Turns out, the group we were with packed over 115,000 meals during our session. So yeah, I basically have the body of an old man and the work ethic of a humanitarian—just don’t ask me to lift anything today.


Wednesday night, I flew down to Kansas City to host a dinner for one of my customers, because nothing says “let’s talk AI and cloud infrastructure” like a perfectly cooked steak. We were in town for the Oracle Data and AI event the next day, but first, we tackled the real challenge—figuring out how many seafood towers it takes to impress a room full of tech pros. The conversation was incredible, covering everything from AI strategy to data platforms, and by the end of the night, we walked away with fresh ideas, solid connections, and the undeniable fact that 801 Chophouse knows how to fuel a high-performance discussion.


My hotel was across the street from Union Station, so I wandered over Thursday night for dinner and found the place decked out in full Chiefs glory, hyping up their impending dynasty with a massive "3-PEAT LOADING..." sign. Fast forward a few days, and after watching them get dismantled 40-22 in the Super Bowl, I have to wonder—did they slowly dim the lights on this thing out of respect, or did some poor worker have to rip it down at 3 a.m. while pretending not to cry?


Friday, we drove a few hours north to Two Harbors, Minnesota, because nothing says “great idea” like venturing into the frozen wilderness in February. It was cold, it was snowy, but it was beautiful—at least that’s what we kept telling ourselves as we lost feeling in our faces. We were excited for a weekend of good times with friends and some good old-fashioned critter hunting in the icy woods, because apparently, frostbite and tracking animals that are way better at surviving winter than us sounded like a solid plan.


Driving along Minnesota's North Shore, I always marvel at how they carved roads out of solid rock. Take the Silver Creek Cliff Tunnel, for instance—completed in 1994 after three years of blasting through 1,344 feet of cliff to replace a road that basically dared Lake Superior to swallow you whole. 


We stopped at Castle Danger Brewery, parked the car, and were on our way to the bar when we spotted a group of photographers standing in the snow with lenses so massive they could probably see into next week. Curiosity got the best of us, so we wandered over to see what had them locked in with the intensity of snipers. Whatever it was, it had to be something special—because if you’re willing to stand in the freezing cold for hours, either you’re witnessing something incredible or you’ve just made a series of very questionable life choices.


Turns out, it was a great gray owl—a bird so rare in these parts that even Bigfoot would ask for its autograph. Apparently, there's an irruption happening, which is a fancy way of saying these owls' dinner plans up north fell through, so they're crashing our backyard buffets. We snapped a few pictures to prove we were there and then headed into the bar, because as majestic as nature is, it doesn't serve beer.


When we came back outside 45 minutes later, the photographers had all turned their cameras in a new direction, so we wandered over to see what was up. Turns out, the owl had left the tree and landed right on one of their cameras. Pretty cool—unless you’re the guy who owns that camera. Now he’s just standing there, watching his expensive gear become an owl’s personal perch, probably debating whether retrieving it is worth being shunned by the entire birdwatching community. For all we know, he’s still there, nodding along as the others whisper, "Just let it happen, Steve."


We stayed at a nice resort with the Browns and Zitzewitzes, playing games, enjoying great meals, and laughing way too much. On Saturday, we headed to Gooseberry Falls State Park for a hike, which sounded fun until I remembered that everyone in this group is way more fit than me. While they were bounding through the snow like a North Face commercial, I was just hoping to make it back without needing a rescue sled.


As we approached the falls, I could see some water trickling under the ice, but mostly, it looked like a frozen wasteland with people scaling it like they were training for Everest. We watched the ice climbers for a bit before moving on, and at some point, I finally asked, “So when do we get to the falls?” The group casually informed me that this was the falls. In the summer, it’s a powerful, rushing cascade—right now, it’s more of a scenic reminder that nature takes the winters off too.


We went back to the townhouse for lunch, and when the group decided to head out for another hike, I made the executive decision to sit this one out rather than pretend I could keep up with their Olympic-level endurance. Fortunately, Miss Sheri took pity on me, and instead of racing through the snow, we hopped in the car for a leisurely photo tour—because why struggle up a hill when you can drive around and let the critters come to you?


Our critter hunt came up empty, but we did stumble upon a scenic overlook we’d never been to before, offering a perfect view of Split Rock Lighthouse—one of the most photographed lighthouses in Minnesota. Which makes sense, because when you stick a lighthouse on a cliff with a backdrop like that, it’s less of a landmark and more of a full-time Instagram model.