December 26, 2021

2021 Swank Family Christmas Letter

Happy Groundhog’s Day!

At the rate we’re going, we’ll be lucky to get out this Christmas letter by February 2nd.  

Just covering our bases.

The good news is the Swank Family survived another year! 

Well, good news for some of you anyways.

Our biggest news of 2021 was the fact that Luke and Avery both graduated from college.

Our empty nest became full of crazy birds again.   

And their poop is much bigger than it used to be.

Luke earned his degree in finance from Minnesota State Mankato and is gaining relevant experience as a bank teller at Wells Fargo.  Every day he gets to leave the house, wear a mask, and experience the joys of explaining bank policies to the general public.  Lucky for us, we get new Luke stand-up routines each night describing his daily encounters.  His Elderly Karen impression is getting quite good.  He’s gaining great experience and we look forward to seeing what new opportunities he will pursue in 2022. 

Avery graduated with a degree in Computer Science and is working remotely as a software engineer for Rocket Mortgage.  To all of our good friends who’ll soon see better interest rates on your mortgages, You’re Welcome!  Avery currently has an office in the basement.  We haven’t seen him come out of there for at least a few weeks, but we’re pretty sure he’s all right.

Todd is working from home selling Data Management Solutions for Stibo Systems.  He had the most successful year in his career in 2021 and hardly ever wore pants while doing it.  Although things have been going well, he is getting lonely while working from home.  Todd thrives off being with people and Microsoft Teams isn’t cutting it.  He’s started spending disturbing amounts of time with the dog.  Sheri didn’t think it was a big deal when he started regularly talking to Blue, but then when he started using another voice and added the responses, she became concerned.

Otherwise Sheri spends her days insisting we need to invest in Clorox & hand sanitizer companies.  Our entire basement is now filled with toilet paper & bottled water.  Needless to say, she looks forward to the day when our pandemic becomes an endemic. 

Our goal for 2022 is to build a space in the Metaverse where people will give us millions of dollars’ worth of Cryptocurrency in exchange for some really cool NFT’s we’ve created.  If any of you are interested in buying an NFT from us, please mail us a check for one million dollars.  Then we’ll figure out how to do all the rest of that stuff.

God Bless Us, Everyone!

The Swank Family

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