August 9, 2025

The JJ McCarthy Era Begins—May the Odds Be Ever in Our Favor

The JJ McCarthy Era Begins—May the Odds Be Ever in Our Favor
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for August 9, 2025


Thursday night, Miss Sheri and I hit the grand opening of Hop House Brewery—a place so slick it’s basically waiting for Minnesota to legalize sports betting so it can become the state’s Vegas annex. Until then, it’s a killer bar with wall-to-wall sports screens, a stage big enough for a rock show, and a floor just begging for questionable dance decisions. I can’t wait to go there with each and every one of you reading this.


Friday was cystoscopy day—otherwise known as the procedure that makes grown men whimper. If you don’t know what it is, Google it… but guys, consider this your final warning: it’s like shoving a golf ball through a garden hose, only the hose has your Social Security number. The good news? I got the all clear. The bad news? Kidney stones are the real culprit, and I’ll be scheduling a laser-blasting soon. Think Space Invaders… only through my urethra.


Saturday we hit the first preseason game of the year—Vikings hosting the Texans. Every August, I convince myself this is the year we’re going to the Super Bowl. And every January, reality reminds me why I should’ve kept the receipt on that optimism. But this year? This year feels different… just like it always does.


Luke was the lucky Swank who got to join me at the game—and he even drove, which was nice. But of course, I still paid for parking. Thirty-three bucks this year. Feels like five minutes ago it was $15. At this rate, by the time the Vikings win a Super Bowl, parking will cost more than my first car.


Saturday’s preseason opener at U.S. Bank Stadium was the usual.  Mostly guys I’ve never heard of.  Most of whom won’t be here next month. I came to see JJ McCarthy, and I’m glad I did. He led a scoring drive on his first series, ran for a first down, and had no turnovers. Good enough for me.  Now bench him for the rest of the preseason.  It’s been a long time since the Vikings had a QB on a rookie deal, and they spent big this offseason in the trenches. If JJ’s even above average, this could be a big year. And yes… I believe it!
@toddswank The Grand Opening of Hop House Brewery at Mystic Lake Casino! #hophouse #brewery #mysticlake ♬ original sound - Todd Swank
@toddswank I had a cystoscopy this morning and everything looks good! Yay! #cystoscopy #menshealth #urology #doctor ♬ original sound - Todd Swank
@toddswank The 2025 Minnesota Vikings season is about to begin! #minnesota #vikings #preseason #nfl ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

August 3, 2025

Vikings Camp 2025: Because We’re Nothing If Not Hopeful

 


Vikings Camp 2025: Because We’re Nothing If Not Hopeful

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for August 3, 2025


We kicked off a couple lake outings this week with a Thursday night cruise alongside the Browns and Zitzewitzes. Before hitting the water, we grabbed dinner at Charlie’s—now with dock seating that’s equal parts charming and anxiety-inducing. Great view, great company, but one wrong elbow bump and your phone’s fish food.


We spent a couple hours cruising around Prior Lake, and thanks to the higher water levels, I got brave enough to venture into a few sketchy channels I usually avoid for fear of turning my prop into shrapnel. No damage this time—just smooth sailing, shoreline snooping, and good conversation with good people.


Friday night brought us back on the lake—Luke rounded up the crew, we loaded the worms, armed the poles, and set out like we actually knew what we were doing. No shortage of action—lines in the water, jokes flying, and enough chaos on board to make the fish think twice about getting involved.


Miss Sheri and Jen were along for the ride—Sheri wisely skipped the fishing, while Jen hauled in a beast so small we nearly needed tweezers to unhook it. Still counts. Still bragging rights.


Andy came to play. He hauled in a couple solid bass and even snagged a baby northern, officially claiming the title of Bass Master and making the rest of us look like we were just holding sticks and hoping for miracles.


Luke tried matching Andy’s mojo—same bait, different pole, and a solid dose of determination. Took a bit, but when this sunfish hit, he lit up like he’d cracked the code. A few more catches later and suddenly he was acting like the lake owed him royalties.


Saturday brought us to TCO Performance Center for Vikings Training Camp—where optimism flows, expectations soar, and no one's been tackled yet. Are you ready for some football? We are. Until the season starts and reality reintroduces itself.


The Vikings know how to keep season ticket holders coming back—four free camp tickets, a couple drinks, museum access, and just enough swag to feel like VIPs for the day. It’s a fun tradition we look forward to every summer.


Avery and Abby couldn’t make it, so I recruited my buddy Orlando Mazzolini to step in. He’s a die-hard Bears fan from Chicago, but he still found a way to represent Minnesota—by rocking a Brett Favre Jets jersey. Technically accurate, emotionally confusing, but solid commitment to the bit.


We were pumped to finally get a look at JJ McCarthy—healthy, confident, and making up for lost time after his redshirt rookie year. He’s got the arm, the swagger, and currently leads the league in Training Camp Hype—an unofficial stat, but undeniably real. Here’s hoping it carries beyond the practice field… and maybe, just maybe, all the way to a Super Bowl.


Lucky for JJ, he’s got the QB whisperer in his corner. Kevin O’Connell, last year’s NFL Coach of the Year, took Sam Darnold from castoff to comeback story—until things unraveled in the final game and the playoffs. Still, for most of the season, Darnold looked like a guy reborn. If KOC can pull that off, there’s real hope he can shape JJ into something special.


We would’ve loved to see the other JJ in action, but Justin Jefferson sat out with a hamstring tweak—hopefully just a preseason precaution. Still, the thought of JJ-to-JJ has us dreaming. If McCarthy and Jefferson ever get in sync, it won’t just be a connection… it’ll be Jackpot Junction. And for once, maybe Vikings fans will be the ones holding the winning ticket!


Training camp gave us just enough to believe—again. The drills were crisp, the hype was loud, and the hope? Irrational as ever. But that’s the gig. The real story kicks off September 8 under the lights of Monday Night Football against the Bears. Until then, we’ll keep circling the word “maybe” and pretending this year feels different.

@toddswank The new Hop House Brewery at Mystic Lake Casino opens on August 7, 2025! #twincities #brewery #hophouse #mysticlake #minnesota ♬ The Rockafeller Skank - Fatboy Slim
@toddswank Andy caught a nice little bass on Prior Lake! #bass #fishing #lakelife #priorlake ♬ original sound - Todd Swank
@toddswank Learn AI! Invest in a plus subscription for ChatGPT. It will change your life! #learnai #chatgpt #adviceoftheday #creatorsearchinsights ♬ NO AUDIO - Sok Baraby
@toddswank Spread positive energy in the world! #positiveenergy #positivity #imaynotbeperfect #butatleast #creatorsearchinsights ♬ Manifestation - Perfect, so dystopian
@toddswank Luka Doncic looks he has something to prove! #lukadoncic #lakers #mavericks ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

July 27, 2025

A Bridal Shower in Atlanta

A Bridal Shower in Atlanta
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for July 27, 2025


This weekend we flew to Atlanta to celebrate Avery’s fiancée, Abby, at her bridal shower. It was a special day for her, surrounded by family and friends—and we were happy to be there to show our support.


On Friday, I ended up in the backseat with two Averys—my son and his fiancée’s little sister. Pretty sure I’ll be saying “Avery… no, the other one” for the rest of my life.


We grabbed lunch at Central City Tavern in Alpharetta and were pleasantly surprised by how fancy everything felt. Great food, great weather, and just enough bougie energy to make us feel like we probably should’ve worn nicer shoes.


Abby gave us a great tour of her hometown, sharing stories from her childhood in the Atlanta suburb of Suwanee. It’s always fun seeing a place through someone else’s memories—especially when they light up pointing out things like, “That’s where we’d go after cheer practice.”


Eventually we made it to Abby’s parents’ house, where Andrew and Andrea showed us what real Southern hospitality looks like. They grilled, they hosted, they gave us the full tour—including a game room that could rival Dave & Buster’s. We ate like royalty, laughed a lot, and ended the night watching Happy Gilmore 2, which had just dropped on Netflix and made for the perfect family movie.


We really enjoyed the chance to meet more of Abby’s extended family. She’s got a lot of cousins, and they were all incredibly warm and welcoming—just like the rest of the crew.


Saturday was the big event. Even though we’d come for the bridal shower, it was strictly a ladies-only affair—so we snapped a few photos, gave our hugs, and set off in a completely different direction. Let’s just say our day involved a lot less lace and a lot more elevation.


While the girls were busy showering, the boys decided to head up into the Georgia mountains for something a little more rugged. The drive alone was an adrenaline rush—twisty roads, steep drop-offs, and motorcycles flying past us on blind curves like they had a death wish. By the time we pulled over to hike, I was already feeling like I’d survived something.


We picked up Dan—86 years old and somehow still able to run laps around me—for what I was told would be a “moderate” hike. That should’ve been my first clue. Turns out we were on part of the Appalachian Trail, a 2,190-mile beast that stretches from Georgia all the way to Maine. We only did about three miles, but at least a mile of it felt like climbing a rock staircase with no handrail. Dan was cruising. I was negotiating with my lungs.


Eventually we made it to Preacher’s Rock, a stunning overlook on the Appalachian Trail near the summit of Big Cedar Mountain. The hike starts at Woody Gap and climbs nearly 500 feet in elevation, most of it packed into a steep, rocky final stretch full of switchbacks. It’s less than two miles to the top, but it felt like one of the longest miles I’ve ever walked. I honestly considered turning back—twice—but the view at the summit made every breathless step worth it.


After the hike, Avery made a quick stop at the bridal shower to surprise Abby with a bouquet of roses. Miss Sheri caught it all on video, but I’m still waiting on clearance to share it. Let’s just say it was a sweet moment—and based on the reactions from the ladies in the room, he nailed it.

@toddswank ChatGPT told me to start recording unscripted videos to find my path in life. #pathinlife #chatgpt #aitherapy ♬ BOURBON STREET SHUFFLE - Abaco
@toddswank Where the mountains meet the sky! I used AI to make this song a reality! #georgia #mountains #preachersrock #appalachiantrail #mountainsmeetthesky ♬ Where The Mountains Meet The Sky - Steve Biddison

July 20, 2025

A Close Encounter of the Swank Kind

 

A Close Encounter of the Swank Kind

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for July 20, 2025


It was birthday week in the Swank household. Luke & Avery turned 26 and I hit the double nickels at 55. We all handled the aging process with grace, dignity, and a suspicious amount of dessert.


We kicked off birthday week with steaks at PorterHouse in Lakeville—Luke and Avery, Abby, Sheri, Grandma Linda, and me. The food was excellent, the company even better, and the boys scored free birthday desserts. Sheri and I were being good, but I’m pretty sure I caught Grandma Linda sneaking a bite when no one was looking. Some perks don’t expire with age.


Wednesday night we rolled into Shakopee for Rhythm on the Rails, where Def Legend took the stage with a full-throttle tribute to Def Leppard. They had the look, the sound, and just enough hair product to summon 1987. No actual leopards were harmed during the performance.


We were joined by the Browns, the Wolfs, and Karl for a night of live music. After a stretch of brutal heat, the weather pulled a full Minnesota mood swing—cold, rainy all day, and stuck in the fifties by showtime. We made it through the opener and half of Def Legend before calling it. Nothing says “summer” here quite like wind chills in July.


We headed up to Clearwater for the weekend to hang with the Korkowskis, who always show us amazing hospitality. We kicked things off at Coyote Moon Grille in St. Cloud—great food, relaxed vibes, and a surprisingly impressive salad bar that even included popovers. We were officially off to a strong start.


The Korkowskis said they wanted to stop at a place they'd driven by a hundred times but never actually visited. We weren’t sure what to expect, but when we pulled up to Foleyland, we knew we were about to experience something... technically classified as art. Intrigued was an understatement.


Foleyland isn’t just a pile of old trucks and alien statues—it’s nearly 20 years of eccentric creativity brought to life by Tom Henry, a construction guy with a wild imagination, and his artist wife, Paige. What started with one painted grain silo in 2005 has turned into four acres of Bigfoots, UFOs, vintage rigs, and even a homemade time machine. It feels less like a roadside stop and more like someone turned their midlife crisis into a theme park.


We only had about 20 minutes to wander Foleyland before “closing time”—which was hilarious because we were the only ones there, and I’m still not sure who exactly was supposed to kick us out. But maybe that’s the point. Places like this aren’t built to be efficient or explainable. They’re built because someone had something weird and wonderful in their head and decided the world needed to see it. And honestly? They were absolutely right.  I thought it was awesome.

Game nights with the Korkowskis are serious business. This weekend included one with marbles, one with dice, and a couple rounds of Settlers of Catan. I was cruising in the first game—until Luke pulled a backstab straight out of a medieval scroll and crushed my chances. Sue won the second round while I watched from the sidelines in quiet frustration. Nothing like trading imaginary bricks and wheat to find out who your real friends are.


The Korkowskis had a new boat since our last visit, so we hit the lake several times. Temps stayed in the low seventies, so no one felt the urge to dive in, but it was perfect for cruising, chatting, and making up wild backstories about the other boats. One group was all wearing the same color shirts, so naturally we assumed it was either a family reunion… or a mildly unsettling cult retreat.


Blue’s 10 now and definitely showing his age, but you’d never know it from the way he’s treated—front of the boat, sun on his back, and living like royalty. Sue and the whole Korkowski crew make him feel just as welcome as the rest of us, even when his stomach occasionally forgets its manners. We’re lucky to have friends who open their home, their boat, and their weekend plans with the kind of generosity that makes you feel like family.

July 13, 2025

Hot Days, Cold Drinks, Great People

 

Hot Days, Cold Drinks, Great People

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for July 13, 2025

We went to Clear Lake, Iowa for the 4th of July and met up with Krazy Kory, his daughter, and her friend to kick things off. They brought the energy, I brought the need for shade and lower back support. I used to party all night—now I just hope to stay awake past sunset. Still a great way to celebrate freedom… until the next morning reminds you how old you are.


We had a special treat this year when my stepsister Lori and her husband David came to town for her 40th high school reunion and casually turned our 4th of July into a VIP experience. I always thought I had some local clout, but apparently all it takes is showing up with Lori to have doors open, crowds part, and prime spots magically appear. I’m not saying she runs Clear Lake now—but I’m definitely not saying she doesn’t.


The 4th of July parade is always fun, but this year Lori’s friend was able to reserve a front row table inside Rookies and had a couple extra seats for us. Watching the madness from an air-conditioned bar with cold beers and table service? Let’s just say it’s hard to go back to sidewalk seating after that level of freedom.


The VIP experience continued when Lori’s friends Kelly and Al Dickes invited us over before taking us out on the lake. We started with a tour of Al’s man cave, which felt less like a garage and more like a fully functional museum of Midwestern greatness. Tools, toys, neon signs—this place had everything but a gift shop.


Kelly and Al were awesome hosts, giving us a cruise around Clear Lake that brought back a bunch of childhood memories. I grew up on this lake with my dad and his boat—he was obsessed with keeping it spotless, drying it down and waxing it after every ride. Being back out there on the 4th felt great… mostly because no one made me towel-dry a windshield afterward.


We always have fun hitting the carnival downtown, and this year’s Bingo tent did not disappoint. We ran into Mike Glaser and his family mid-game, which was great—especially since Miss Sheri walked away $38 richer. It’s not about the money, of course… unless you win. Then it absolutely is.

I always seem to run into Todd Rule when I’m in Clear Lake, which is great since he lives in Houston and we rarely get to catch up. This year he brought his wife Lenaine, and we squeezed in a quick visit at the VFW—just enough time to swap what’s new before disappearing again for another year. It’s the kind of reliable randomness I’ve come to expect from Clear Lake.


We also bumped into Casey and Michele Craven, which always feels like reconnecting with the home team. Michele was in the same grade as Krazy Kory and me, so there’s this automatic bond—like no matter how much time passes, we just pick up right where we left off. The Class of 1988 may be scattered now, but for a few days each summer, it feels like we never left.


Back in Minnesota, the reunions kept rolling. Jason and Jen are in town for the summer, so we met up with them and invited Brad to join us at Duke’s on 7 in Minnetonka. Good food, great company, and just enough sarcasm at the table to make it feel like we never took a break.


On Wednesday, we met up with Miss Sheri’s cousin Deb, her husband Al, their daughter Jenny, and her crew for a little family catch-up. They were in full vacation mode, and we were a brief pause between all the action. The kids were happy to see us—at least until they remembered there were way more exciting things to do than hang out with adults talking over pancakes.


On Friday night we hit up Prior Lake’s Lakefront Music Fest for Rock Night. Always a good time—even when it’s 85 degrees, the crowd feels like a human wall, and your chair sinks two inches into the grass. The rain held off, the music was loud, and nobody around us sang in key… which honestly made it even better.


We ran into a bunch of great friends at Lakefront Music Fest and ended up sitting with Sue and Ron Korkowski—two people who never need convincing when it comes to having a good time. If there’s music, sunshine, and a reason to laugh, they’re already there.


Loverboy opened Rock Night with a tight, no-nonsense set that hit all the right notes. They launched into “Notorious” and didn’t let up. When they hit “Working for the Weekend,” they got everyone on their feet—even the people who looked pretty settled in for the night.


By the time 38 Special took the stage, the sun was down, the beer gardens were busy, and the crowd was fully warmed up. They kicked things off with “Rockin’ Into the Night” and didn’t slow down from there. Tight guitars, clean vocals, and nothing fancy—just a well-oiled Southern rock machine doing exactly what we came to see. When they closed with “Hold On Loosely,” every voice in that field was shouting it back.


Foreigner closed out Rock Night with a full-blown light show and a setlist straight off a Greatest Hits CD. They opened with “Double Vision” and rolled through anthem after anthem like they had something to prove. By the time they hit “I Want to Know What Love Is” with a local choir and a sea of phone lights, it felt less like a concert and more like a moment everyone was going to remember.

@toddswank

A Megapod of Dolphins - We thought we were out for a peaceful cruise in San Diego. Then the ocean exploded. Over 1,000 dolphins—stampeding in sync—racing alongside us like we accidentally joined nature’s VIP rave. This went on for 15 minutes. No joke. I finally finished editing the full footage—and I still can’t believe it was real. Watch to the end. You’ll start questioning which species is really in charge out there. #Dolphins #MegaPod #SanDiego #WildlifeEncounters #OceanEnergy #swankventures

♬ original sound - Todd Swank