The Cold, Chaotic Sprint to Christmas

 

The Cold, Chaotic Sprint to Christmas

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for December 21, 2025

December 12 was Grandma Linda’s 83rd birthday, so we did what made sense. Dinner and a show at Mystic Lake, good food, loud rooms, and plenty of laughs. Mom has been dealing with more than her fair share lately, but she still shows up, still smiles, and still wants to be right in the middle of things with us. That alone says everything. Happy Birthday, mom!

When we heard there was a Beatles tribute show happening on the night of Grandma’s birthday, it felt like fate was doing us a small favor. Mom was always more of an Elvis fan, but the Beatles felt close enough to guaranteed joy that it was worth the gamble. Turns out, a birthday dinner followed by a loud, colorful night of familiar songs was exactly the right move.

What surprised us was how much Miss Sheri and I loved it too. We go to a lot of shows, but this one grabbed us fast. Before we knew it, we were singing along to Hey Jude, Yesterday, I Want to Hold Your Hand, and Yellow Submarine—Sheri hitting the notes, me providing volume, enthusiasm, and what I assume was a mild nuisance to everyone within a three-row radius. Great energy, big sound, and a reminder that some songs don’t age at all… even if the people singing them clearly have.

The next night we headed to Lindey’s Prime Steak House in Arden Hills with the Browns and the Zitzewitzes, a place that feels frozen in time in the best way possible. Big wood interior, old-school vibe, and steaks that show up massive enough to make you rethink your life choices. The menu is refreshingly simple. Do you want steak, or do you want steak? Our friends ordered theirs medium rare, one went full rare, and Miss Sheri and I quietly realized we may live a little further down the doneness spectrum. Either way, everyone was happy, the night was relaxed, and it was a great excuse to spend a few hours around people we enjoy.

We also caught an advanced screening of Song Sung Blue, which ended up meaning more to me than I expected. Tom D’Amato, played by Jim Belushi, was a longtime friend of my dad back in their Kmart manager days and later a friend of shortarmguy.com. We traded emails on and off for nearly 15 years. I remember him mentioning he managed a Neil Diamond tribute band called Lightning & Thunder, which I filed away as one of those fun facts you never expect to hear again. When I saw the trailer, I immediately thought of Tom and was genuinely delighted to discover he was part of the story. The movie itself was fantastic. I described it as the greatest Wisconsin love story ever told. I’ve always been a fan of Kate Hudson and she absolutely nails it here, with Hugh Jackman doing the same. Well worth seeing over Christmas break.

Friday night, Miss Sheri and I drove two hours down to Clear Lake, Iowa, to meet up with Krazy Kory at the Surf Ballroom. Two hours there, two hours back, all for a show that definitely wasn’t going to tuck us in gently. The Surf is pure rock-and-roll history, which made it even funnier watching a packed crowd settle in, knowing full well this was about to go way off the rails. Worth the drive, though we were already budgeting our energy for the return trip home before the lights even went down.

We were there to see Steve-O’s Crash & Burn Tour, which is less a traditional stand-up show and more a guided tour through his greatest hits of terrible decision-making. Part comedy, part storytelling, part video evidence that some ideas should never leave the brainstorming phase. I loved Jackass back in the day. Miss Sheri… not so much. And once the visuals started drifting into extended, deeply uncomfortable territory involving his own anatomy, she checked out fast while Krazy Kory and I laughed like middle-schoolers who definitely weren’t mature enough for this show. Not subtle. Not for everyone. Exactly what we expected.

Saturday took us to Buck Hill for Miss Sheri and my first skiing adventure in years, meeting up with Luke and Avery and Abby. The skiing part was fun. The wind on the chairlifts felt like it was personally offended by us being there. Things improved dramatically once we retreated to the car and upgraded everyone to full face masks, which turned misery into something almost enjoyable. Not every run was loved equally, but overall it was a cold, ridiculous, and surprisingly great way to spend the day with the kids.

A quick warm-up in the chalet before heading back out for a few more runs. Abby grabbed this picture of us with the boys—cold, tired, slightly overdressed, and still convincing ourselves we had another round in us. The last couple weeks were a blur of plans, miles, noise, and energy we absolutely did not budget correctly, but somehow that’s the whole point. Wishing everyone a Christmas filled with people you love and moments that feel special and incredible—even if you’re exhausted when they’re over.

@toddswank The HOTTEST Toy for Christmas! #christmas #toy #trend #gift #shop ♬ Christmas Music Nutcracker (Bass Boosted) - SNC

The 2025 Swank Family Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas from Team Swank—still standing, still laughing, and still shocked they let us adult unsupervised. 

 2025 opened the way most Swank years do: with a mix of chaos, comedy, and at least one doctor saying, “You again?” Between cardiology, pulmonology, and urology, we’ve basically unlocked the Mayo Clinic loyalty program. We’re one appointment away from a free smoothie. Through it all, we’re grateful every day is a gift—even when it feels like that gift is tube socks. 

The highlight of our year? Hands down: Avery and Abby’s wedding. The big day was perfect—from heartfelt vows to a dance floor that could have used more oxygen tanks. We officially welcomed Abby into the family, though honestly, she’s felt like one of us since day one. Avery continues to crush it at Rocket Mortgage, still writing code and building features that make mortgages slightly less soul-crushing. 

 Luke’s still at Cyber Power Systems, working as a financial analyst and keeping the sales team honest—one expense report at a time. He builds spreadsheets that would make NASA jealous, but saves the real competition for fantasy football, fantasy basketball, and the occasional reckless parlay with Dad. He’s eyeing his first home in 2026, and if grit counts for anything, he’ll get there. We’re proud. 

We said goodbye to a couple of beloved family members this year. Grandma Leona passed away after blessing us for 93 years with love, wit, and enough homemade cookies to fill a small bakery. 

And Blue, our golden retriever and emotional support furball, crossed the rainbow bridge this fall. We like to think he’s up there now, tail wagging, judging us from above for giving his tennis ball to the neighbor dog. 

Thankfully, 2025 gave us some high notes too. We went on incredible trips—Hawaii was a standout, with ocean views so magical even Todd forgot to check his email. 

We also squeezed in weekend getaways, concerts, and our usual attempts to defy Minnesota weather by attending every Vikings and Timberwolves game possible. We cheer loud enough to be heard—just not by anyone who can do anything about it. 

 And now we head into 2026 with big dreams: Sheri plans to travel more, worry less, and finally learn how to pack light. Todd plans to build an AI-powered empire or at least finally organize the basement. Together, we plan to keep chasing joy, dodging doctors, and finding new ways to laugh when life throws us curveballs. 

May your holidays be joyful, your spirits high, and your 2026 be filled with adventures. 

The Swank Family

 

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Spectacular Minnesota Christmas

 

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Spectacular Minnesota Christmas

Todd Swank's Diary Update for December 7, 2025

Friday night dropped us right back into the Christmas Spectacular at River Valley Church in Apple Valley, our second year in a row, and somehow it hit even harder this time. The whole thing is this whirlwind of live music and enough Christmas energy to power the Mall of America for a week. It’s inspirational, it’s spiritual, it’s uplifting and it sneaks up on you in that good way where you suddenly realize you’re smiling like a kid again. Just an absolutely beautiful show that kicks the season into gear and reminds you why this time of year still matters.

Ted and Marcia rounded up the crew and invited us out, so we kicked things off with dinner at Newt’s, where the popcorn was flowing and the laughs were even louder. It’s one of those meals where the conversation bounces all over the place, everyone’s in a good mood and you remember why you actually like leaving the house in December. From there we headed to the show, still riding the energy from dinner, and the whole night turned into this perfect mix of fun, music and inspiration. A pretty great way to launch the weekend.

Miss Sheri and I are heading into our 34th Christmas together, which is impressive considering she’s had three decades to realize what she’s working with. We hit 31 years of marriage in 2025, and somehow she still makes the season brighter just by showing up. Sweet enough to warm your heart, sarcastic enough to keep me honest. Perfect combo.

Sunday brought us back to US Bank Stadium, because what else are Vikings fans gonna do but show up and hope for the best? It’s been a tough season, no sugarcoating it, but we still walked in thinking maybe this would be the one that turns things around. The stadium looked great, the crowd was fired up and, for a moment, it felt like anything was possible. Minnesota optimism is undefeated, even if the team isn’t.

It was Avery’s turn to join me at the game, and of course it happened to be about ten below outside, because Minnesota likes to keep us humble. Getting there wasn’t exactly a joyride, but we hopped on the light rail and it dropped us right at the stadium doors, saving us from turning into father-son popsicles. Cold or not, always fun getting to take him to a game.

Miss Sheri and Luke ended up having their own little adventure. They heard Minnesota Hall of Famer John Randle was at Launch Pad Golf, so they made a beeline over to meet him and launch a few drives into the snowy abyss. Randle’s one of the greatest defensive tackles ever, the face-painted, trash-talking spark plug who basically ran on pure chaos and quarterback fear, so getting a few minutes with him made their quick stop feel pretty legendary. They weren’t there long, but it definitely counted as a win for Team Sheri and Luke.

JJ McCarthy got the start again, which at this point feels like the right call. It’s been a rough couple of months watching him try to figure it out, but after last week in Seattle, we learned Max Brosmer isn’t exactly riding in on a white horse either. Might as well let the kid play the rest of the season and see if he’s going to grow into an NFL quarterback or if we need to start sketching out a new plan for next year.

Our opponent today was Jayden Daniels and the Washington Commanders. They’ve had plenty of their own challenges this season, which is a surprise after the electric year Daniels put together in 2024. Still, he’s fun to watch, and we were looking forward to seeing what he could do up close. Of course, that didn’t mean we wanted anything good to actually happen for them. Admire the talent, hope for the loss. Classic game-day mindset.

The Vikings finally gave us something to cheer about, unloading on Washington 31–0 and snapping that brutal losing streak with their first home win in months. After two weeks of looking completely lost, JJ McCarthy came out firing with three touchdowns and the kind of confidence we’ve been begging to see, while the defense grabbed three takeaways and sent Jayden Daniels to the sideline after shutting down the Commanders early. It doesn’t magically fix the season, but it does make the final stretch a lot more fun, and for one Sunday at least, Minnesota optimism actually paid off.

Turkey, Pie, and the First Icy Slap of Minnesota Winter

 

Turkey, Pie, and the First Icy Slap of Minnesota Winter

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for November 30, 2025

We got our first real snowfall of the season this week, just enough to cover Prior Lake and everything around it in that delightful blanket of Minnesota reality. The lake isn’t frozen yet, but the evil white stuff showed up anyway like it had a schedule to keep. Every year I swear this is my last winter here, and every spring I magically forget I ever said that. It’s a toxic relationship at this point, but at least the scenery pretends to look peaceful while it ruins my mood.

Monday and Tuesday I was back at Mayo for my annual cardiology check on the aortic aneurysm. Luckily nothing has grown, so I get to breathe easy for another year. The MRI was the only hiccup. I thought I’d be calmer this time, but the second they slid me in, the panic hit like clockwork. It’s basically a human-sized oven you get shoved into while someone bangs pots and pans around your head. But the results were good, I made it through, and the panic button stayed untouched… somehow.

Tuesday night took us to Portia’s 60th birthday bash at Brianno’s Chart House, where we got dinner, bingo, and a reminder that none of us are getting any younger. Portia and Mike threw a great party, the jackpots were big enough to get the room buzzing, and of course I didn’t win a thing. Still, celebrating Portia hitting the big 6-0 with good friends made losing feel almost respectable.

For the first time in what feels like years, we actually spent Thanksgiving at home. Miss Sheri put together an incredible meal, and we got to share it with Luke, Avery, Abby, and Grandma Linda. It was a simple, easy weekend of food, family, and hanging out… and honestly, it reminded me how lucky we are to have moments like this. We really are blessed, and I’m grateful for every bit of it.

We used to spend Black Friday running around stores, but online shopping has pretty much cured us of that tradition. This year we wanted to do something a little more uplifting, so we headed to the Science Museum in St. Paul. We hadn’t been there in years, and it was fun wandering through the exhibits and pretending we remembered anything about dinosaurs. Definitely beats getting into fistfights over an $89 seventy-five-inch TV.

The highlight of the day was hitting the Omnitheater, home of that ridiculous 90-foot domed screen that basically swallows your entire field of vision and dares your eyes to keep up. We watched the new T. REX film, and it was genuinely cool, especially the moment they show how massive these things really were — the kind of shot that makes you realize we wouldn’t have survived five minutes back then.

Saturday afternoon brought us to Target Center, and of course we had to plow through a mini-blizzard to get there. Not enough snow to cancel anything, just enough to be annoying and make you question your life choices. Still, we made it, crossed our fingers, and hoped the Timberwolves would make the drive feel worth it.

I was there with my best gal, and Miss Sheri was fired up because she loves the Timberwolves. We were ready to cheer, yell, and hopefully shake off a few of the extra holiday calories we’d been hauling around since Thursday.

We were hopeful the Wolves would get back to their winning ways, especially after dropping three straight where they kept blowing big leads to the Suns and Kings and then let OKC finish them off in the final minutes. It’s been a rough little stretch, the kind that makes you wonder if the team secretly hates prosperity, but we showed up anyway hoping this would be the night they remembered how to close a game.

The Wolves pulled out a 119–115 win, thanks to Ant dropping 39 and finally taking down a winning team for the first time this season. After a week of snow, doctor visits, holiday food comas, family time, and everything else life threw at us, it felt pretty great to cap it all off with a solid Minnesota win. Now if we could just figure out how to get the Vikings to do the same, this state might actually let us enjoy sports again.

@toddswank The Science Museum of Minnesota is now much more exciting when we can use AI to bring everything to life! #dinosaurs #science #museum #imagetovideo #minnesota ♬ som original - DjNando

Luminiscence Lights Up the Minneapolis Basilica

 

Luminiscence Lights Up the Minneapolis Basilica

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for November 23, 2025

Caught up with my old Oracle Direct crew for lunch on Monday. George, Ross, and Orlando still bring the same chaotic energy they had back in the cube farm. Half the time we’re laughing, the other half we’re arguing about football like it’s a contact sport. Two Bears fans, one Packers fan, and me trying to defend the Vikings without pulling a hamstring. Still, for an hour, it felt like old times in the best way.

Saturday night we met up with our good friends Sue and Ron Korkowski before heading to this thing called Luminiscence at the Minneapolis Basilica. I didn’t really know what we were walking into, but since we were planning to spend the rest of the night inside a church, we figured it was only fair to stop at Hell’s Kitchen first. Seemed like a good chance to get a few sins in before the evening’s unofficial absolution.

This was my first-ever visit to the Basilica in Minneapolis, and I honestly didn’t know what to expect. The place is massive up close, way bigger and more detailed than anything you appreciate driving by on Hennepin. It was built in the early 1900s and became the first basilica in the entire United States, and it shows off with every inch of stone, arches, and ornate design. You walk in and immediately get why this building has its own reputation.

Once the lights dropped, the whole place came alive with this show called Luminiscence. It’s basically a full 360-degree light and sound takeover where the stone walls turn into moving artwork. They project color, stained-glass patterns, history, all of it, while a live choir and orchestra push the whole thing into goosebump territory. It started in Europe and sold out everywhere it went, and now Minneapolis gets to be the first stop in the U.S. You don’t just watch it. You feel the whole building wake up around you.

What really blew me away was the tech behind this thing. The video mapping was so precise it felt like the entire Basilica was changing shape right in front of us. Columns, statues, arches… everything looked like it was melting into new colors and textures. I’ve never seen a light show even close to this level. And with the live classical music filling the whole space – Bach, Beethoven, Vivaldi, all of it – the place didn’t just look different, it felt different. It was honestly the most impressive blend of tech and art I’ve ever experienced in a church or anywhere else for that matter.

I didn’t expect to enjoy this nearly as much as I did, but the whole thing was honestly incredible. The way the projections, narration and music pulled the Basilica’s history together made it feel less like a show and more like the building was telling its own story. Every time the colors shifted, you’d catch something new you hadn’t seen the first time. By the end, I just sat there taking it all in. Not bad for a random Saturday night in Minneapolis where I thought I was just going to look at some pretty lights.

We always have a great time with Sue and Ron, and this whole night was Sue’s idea. She’s constantly finding these fun, quirky experiences we never would’ve discovered on our own, and somehow they always end up being a blast. This one definitely landed. Nights like this remind me how lucky we are to have friends who pull us into new adventures. Can’t wait to see where the next one takes us.

@toddswank Aaron Rodgers is officially selling his Green Bay house… and honestly, even the place looks relieved. Steelers U-Haul is already warming up in the driveway. #A#AaronRodgersG#GreenBayP#PackersS#SteelersNFL ♬ Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) - Billy Joel

@toddswank Luminescence at The Basilica in Minneapolis is absolutely amazing! #luminescence #basilica #lightshow ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

Minnesota—We Put the ‘Ow’ in Home Crowd

 

Minnesota—We Put the ‘Ow’ in Home Crowd

Todd Swank's Diary for November 16, 2025

This week Mother Nature dropped a surprise northern lights show on us. I’m still not convinced I actually saw anything with my own eyes—outside it just looked like confused clouds trying to get their act together. But the second you point an iPhone at it, boom: instant technicolor magic. At this point I’m half-convinced the northern lights are just an Apple marketing feature to sell more phones.

Friday night we hit Music Bingo at the Shakopee VFW with friends from our Euchre crew. It’s just like regular bingo except the letters and numbers got replaced by every song you forgot you loved from the seventies through the nineties. We spent a couple hours singing our lungs out and competing for high-end luxury items like leftover T-shirts and random mugs. Honestly? Blast of a night.

Saturday night we rolled into Target Center to watch our beloved Timberwolves, who came in riding a four-game winning streak. Naturally, that meant we showed up with our hopes way too high—because nothing screams “Minnesota sports fan” like confidently assuming tonight will be the night everything goes right.

It was Prince Night at Target Center, which meant his giant symbol took over center court and they blasted clips of his music all game long. The funny part is Prince spent half his life fighting people who tried to commercialize his art… and now we’re basically one halftime show away from a “Purple Rain presented by Arby’s” sponsorship.

It was Luke’s turn to join me at the game. He’d actually been there the night before with his buddies and watched the Wolves roll to a big win, so I walked in thinking maybe his good luck would rub off on me. Spoiler: it did not.

Our season tickets are under my name, but every now and then Sheri gets these wild last-minute offers the team sends her because she’s bought seats in the past. They’re usually up in the rafters, but she doesn’t care—she just loves being there. And every so often, like tonight, the seats next to ours end up open and she gets to slide down and join us. Some nights the universe just gives you a wink and says, “Yeah, go ahead.”

The Nuggets rolled into town on their own six-game win streak, led by their not-to-be-named-but-definitely-hard-to-ignore superstar. Anytime Denver shows up, it feels like reopening an old playoff scar. These two teams have built a pretty spicy rivalry over the past few years, and you could feel it in the arena the second warmups ended. This wasn’t just another regular-season game — it was another chapter in the ongoing Wolves–Nuggets saga.

Things even got a little chippy when Julius Randle mixed it up with one of Denver’s big men. My favorite part of the whole scene, though, was Ant in the background with that little smirk on his face. I don’t know what he was thinking, but based on the size mismatch in front of him, I’m guessing it was something like, “Yeah… Julius can handle this one. I’m good right here.”

Anthony Edwards had one of those nights where nothing seemed to fall the way it normally does. He still put up 26 points, but it came on a tough 8-for-23 shooting night, including 0-for-8 from three. To his credit, he kept attacking, got to the line 12 times, and added six assists — but for a guy who usually lights up Denver, this one just wasn’t his usual level. Some nights the shots drop. Some nights the basketball gods put a lid on the rim. Tonight felt like the latter.

The Denver Nuggets left town still unbeaten on their current run, edging the Minnesota Timberwolves 123–112. Nikola Jokić put up a triple-double with 27 points, 12 rebounds and 11 assists, while Denver also got 23 points apiece from Aaron Gordon, Jamal Murray and Tim Hardaway Jr.. The Wolves fought back to lead at halftime, but couldn’t keep it going into the final quarter and the Nuggets pulled away when it mattered. Watching your home team fall like that? Yeah… it sucks.

It was also Luke’s turn to join me for the Vikings game, giving him the full weekend trifecta of Minnesota pro sports. Some people call that lucky… others would call it a glutton for punishment. Around here, we just call it “quality time.”

Before the game started I ran into Ted Minette in the concourse — a guy I went to high school with and probably haven’t seen in person since dial-up internet was a thing. We had about three minutes to catch up, grabbed a quick picture, and then went our separate ways like two comets passing in the night. Odds are I won’t see him again until 2035, but hey… it was fun while it lasted.

The Vikings have been a tough team to watch this year, but we still walked into this one with a little hope in our pockets. After all, they pulled off a last-minute miracle against the Bears earlier this season, so maybe lightning would strike twice. And early on, it looked like Chicago’s quarterback was going to be running for his life all afternoon — exactly the kind of chaos we were hoping for.

In the end, Minnesota sports nailed the weekend double-gut-punch. The Wolves sputtered, the Vikings followed, and J.J. McCarthy isn’t exactly selling “QB of the Future” right now. They even teased us with a gorgeous go-ahead touchdown before collapsing and handing Chicago a walk-off field goal. Being a Minnesota fan isn’t for the weak… but at this point, pain just feels like part of the package.

@toddswank This comet keeps doing things comets aren’t supposed to do, and everyone’s acting like it’s fine. I’m just here watching the skies with popcorn. #3IATLAS #Space #CometWatch #2026Vibes #invasion ♬ MONTAGEM-FATAL PR - Rushex & MKXILLA

@toddswank Killer raccoon! #raccoon ♬ Danger - SoundAudio

@toddswank Someone just liked this old video of mine which made me think it would be fun to repost! The Kentucky Fried Chicken Rap from 1988! #kfc #kentuckyfriendchicken #rap #eighties #commercial ♬ original sound - Todd Swank