Todd Swank: Minnesota's Pumpkin Wonderland: The Jack O' Lantern Spectacular

Minnesota's Pumpkin Wonderland: The Jack O' Lantern Spectacular

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for November 3, 2024

This fall in Minnesota was unusually warm, making the trees hang on to their leaves far past their due date. But as soon as we got some rain this week, they all seemed to drop at once, like the trees were playing a cruel joke. Thankfully, Miss Sheri loves raking—otherwise, we'd be buried up to our ears and Googling “how to winterize a leaf pile?”

The white stuff made its appearance this week, because why wouldn’t it? It’s Minnesota. Still, somehow, we’re never quite mentally prepared when it shows up, clinging to fall like we’re in a custody battle with winter—the parent no one wants to live with.

On Wednesday night, we headed to the Minnesota Zoo for the Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular. This event boasts thousands of intricately carved pumpkins, turning the zoo into a glowing wonderland of illuminated art and eerie displays. Each pumpkin tells a different story, ranging from iconic scenes to creative, spooky designs. Walking through, it's clear this is Halloween on steroids, where even the pumpkins are working overtime for your amazement. By the end, you start questioning your own carving skills and wondering if a triangle-eyed face ever really cut it.

Walking deep into the zoo, we spent a solid 20 minutes cracking jokes about how we’d been duped into the world's longest, pumpkin-less hike. But when we finally reached the spectacle, it hit us like a Halloween fever dream. Thousands of glowing, intricately carved pumpkins staring back at us, and suddenly, the walk didn't feel so ridiculous. Turns out, the joke was on us—those pumpkins knew exactly how to stage a dramatic entrance.

I’ve always admired artists, mostly because I can’t draw a stick figure that looks trustworthy. But these pumpkin-carving virtuosos? Next level. I can’t even fathom where to start making something like this, and there were hundreds of them. Then you find out they spend 10 hours carving each one only for it to turn into a mushy science project in four days. That’s the kind of commitment that makes the rest of us look like slackers.

Seeing Beavis and Butthead carved into a pumpkin brought back all those “yeah yeah, cool” memories from back in the day. Their take on life was always pure, stupid brilliance—finding enlightenment in nachos and chanting “fire” like it was a mantra. And now, they’re enshrined on a pumpkin destined to rot quicker than Beavis’s chances of ever scoring. It’s the perfect nod to two icons who thrived on chaos and temporary glory.

The Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular really leaned into its Minnesota roots with references to everything from Paul Bunyan to, yes, a pumpkin carved with a Spam can. For those outside the Midwest, Spam isn’t just a sketchy meat product—it’s a point of pride here. Born in Austin, Minnesota, this iconic canned mystery meat got many families through tough times and became the unofficial state mascot that nobody asked for. Seeing it carved meticulously on a pumpkin? That’s when you know the state fair vibe is alive and well, even in late October.

Seeing Anthony Edwards carved into a pumpkin was a tribute I didn't know I needed. His standout performances for Team USA this past summer, where he showcased his scoring prowess and leadership, reminded us why he's such a fan favorite. Naturally, it set the stage perfectly for our next outing—catching him in action at a Timberwolves game.

Miss Sheri and I hit our first Timberwolves game of the season, buzzing with optimism because, hey, they made it to the Western Conference finals last year. We’re hoping they go even farther this time. Maybe all the way to the finals, where they can finally achieve what we all expect: a dramatic fourth-quarter collapse and the phrase “Well, there’s always next year” said through gritted teeth. Ah, Minnesota sports—where hope springs eternal and dies just as quickly.

As luck would have it, our first game of the season was against Luka, Kyrie, and the Dallas Mavericks—basically, the guys who sent us packing last year. The Wolves looked ready for battle, and the crowd was buzzing with the hope that this time would be different. But with Luka’s smirk and Kyrie’s unpredictability, we knew it could go one of two ways: victory or that familiar Minnesota feeling we all know too well—the "close, but let’s start drafting our apologies for next year."

Anthony Edwards came out swinging, dropping 24 points in the first quarter with six 3-pointers, making the Mavericks wonder if they’d wandered into a shooting clinic. Meanwhile, Luka Doncic put up a modest 5 points, looking less like the star and more like the guy holding everyone’s jackets. By the time the quarter ended, it was clear: Edwards was on a mission, and the rest of us were just praying Minnesota wouldn’t find a way to ruin it.

The game was a rollercoaster—momentum swinging back and forth with every possession. Just when the Wolves seemed ready to pull ahead, Luka and Kyrie would hit back like a one-two punch, reminding us that hope in Minnesota sports is always a fragile thing.

In the end, Luka and Kyrie proved why they’re the dynamic duo, with their supporting cast stepping up to seal the deal. The Wolves gave it their all, but Dallas walked away with the win, leaving us with that familiar post-game mantra: "It’s a long season, we’ll figure it out… right?"