July 17, 2012

NACP (National Association of Crippled People) Responds To Recent Allegations by Michael Johnson



 Official Response to Michael Johnson from the National Association of Crippled People (NACP)
(Prior Lake, MN) — Today, the NACP announced its strong support for Michael Johnson's statement admonishing the International Olympic Committee (IOC) for allowing double-amputee Oscar Pistorius to use his prosthetic legs in the upcoming London Summer Olympics in the 400m and 4 x400m relay races.
Mr Johnson was recently quoted as saying, 
"My position is that because we don't know for sure whether he gets an advantage from the prosthetics that he wears it is unfair to the able-bodied competitors," Johnson said. "I consider Oscar a friend of mine, but he knows I am against him running."
"The NACP agrees with Mr. Johnson's comments fully and believe the IOC should investigate accordingly." said Todd Swank, the Director of the NACP  Prior Lake Bureau and the Senior Vice President for Advocacy and Policy. "If the prosthetic legs should prove to provide an unfair advantage for Mr. Pistorius, it could potentially disenfranchise many other relay racers”
The NACP has taken steps to establish proof that prosthetic legs provide an unfair advantage, but has determined that more aggressive measures need to be taken to be absolutely certain. 
“Felony disenfranchisement laws disproportionately affect people with legs and suppress their ability to run as fast as people with what we call 'Cheater Feet' ,” said Swank.   
“Restoring the rights of able bodied people is crucial to preserving the storied honor of the International Olympic Games.”
As of July 17, 2012, the NACP recommends the following tests be undertaken immediately.  
1.  Identify an able bodied runner who has competed at the top of International Competitions previously.  Since Michael Johnson has taken such an interest in this subject, we're quite hopeful he'll volunteer to do this.
2.  Mr. Johnson should train for 1 month until he is in tip top condition and able to compete at his fullest ability.  He will then run 3 separate races and his times will be measured and recorded.  
3.  Then, Mr. Johnson, will report to the local hospital where he will undergo a procedure to have his legs removed just below the knee.
4.  Mr. Johnson then will have as much time as he needs to re-learn how to walk again, run again, and sprint again.
5.  The NACP will then purchase the finest pair of prosthetic legs available on the market today.
6.  Mr. Johnson will then train again for 1 month until he is in tip top condition and able to compete at his fullest ability.  He will then run 3 separate races and his times will be measured and recorded.
7.  If any of Mr. Johnson's times beat any of his previous times, it is our recommendation that the IOC immediately ban all prosthetic devices from competition.
8.  If any of Mr. Johnson's times fail to beat any of his previous times, it is our recommendation that Michael Johnson instead just Shut the Fuck Up.       
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Founded in 2012, the NACP is the nation's oldest and largest organization still using the word Crippled in their name.   Its members reside primarily in Prior Lake, Minnesota but we are hopeful to grow very soon throughout the United States and the rest of the world.